SCENE 1
Blunt’s chamber
After a great knocking as at his chamber door, enter Blunt softly, crossing the stage in his shirt and drawers, as before
WITHIN
1Ned! Ned Blunt! Ned Blunt!
 
BLUNT
2The rogues are up in arms, ’dsheartlikins, this villainous Frederick has betrayed me, they have heard of my blessed fortune.
 
WITHIN
3
(and knocking within)Ned Blunt! Ned, Ned!
 
BELVILE
4
withinWhy, he’s dead, sir, without dispute dead, he has not been seen today; let’s break open the door. Here, Boy –
 
BLUNT
5Ha, break open the door! ’Dsheartlikins, that mad fellow will be as good as his word!
 
BELVILE
6
withinBoy, bring something to force the door.
 
A great noise within at the door again
BLUNT
7So, now must I speak in my own defense, I’ll try what rhetoric will do. Hold! Hold, what do you mean, gentlemen, what do you mean?
 
BELVILE
8
withinOh rogue, art alive? Prithee open the door, and convince us.
 
BLUNT
9Yes, I am alive, gentlemen, but at present a little busy.
 
BELVILE
10
[within]How! Blunt grown a man of business! Come, come, open, and let’s see this miracle.
 
BLUNT
11No, no, no, no, gentlemen, ’tis no great business, but – I am – at – my devotion; ’dsheartlikins, will you not allow a man time to pray?
 
BELVILE
12
[within]Turned religious! A greater wonder than the first, therefore open quickly or we shall unhinge, we shall.
 
BLUNT
13This won’t do. Why, hark ye, colonel: to tell you the plain truth, I am about a necessary affair of life. I have a wench with me – you apprehend me? The devil’s in’t if they be so uncivil as to disturb me now.
 
WILLMORE
14
withinHow, a wench! Nay, then we must enter and partake! No resistance! Unless it be your lady of quality, and then we’ll keep our distance.
 
BLUNT
15So, the business is out.
 
WILLMORE
16
withinCome, come, lend more hands to the door – now heave altogether –
(Breaks open the door)
So, well done, my boys!
 
Enter Belvile, Willmore, Frederick, Pedro and Belvile’s page Boy; Blunt looks simply, they all laugh at him, he lays his hand on his sword, and comes up to Willmore
BLUNT
17Hark ye, sir, laugh out your laugh quickly, d’ye hear, and be gone, I shall spoil your sport else! ’Dsheartlikins, sir, I shall. (Aside)The jest has been carried on too long – a plague upon my taylor – 
 
WILLMORE
18’Sdeath, how the whore has dressed him! Faith, sir, I’m sorry.
 
BLUNT
19Are you so, sir? Keep’t to yourself then, sir, I advise you, d’ye hear? For I can as little endure your pity as his mirth.
 
Lays his hand on’s sword
BELVILE
20Indeed, Willmore, thou wert a little too rough with Ned Blunt’s mistress: call a person of quality whore, and one so young, so handsome, and so eloquent! Ha, ha, ha!
 
BLUNT
21Hark ye, sir, you know me, and know I can be angry! Have a care, for ’dsheartlikins I can fight too, I can, sir, do you mark me? No more!
 
BELVILE
22Why so peevish, good Ned? Some disappointments, I’ll warrant. What, did the jealous count, her husband, return just in the nick?
 
BLUNT
23Or the devil, sir, d’ye laugh?
(They laugh)
Look ye, settle me a good sober countenance, and that quickly too, or you shall know Ned Blunt is not –
 
BELVILE
24Not everybody, we know that.
 
BLUNT
25Not an ass to be laughed at, sir.
 
WILLMORE
26Unconscionable sinner, to bring a lover so near his happiness, a vigorous passionate lover, and then not only cheat him of his moveables but his desires too.
 
BELVILE
27Ah, sir, a mistress is a trifle with Blunt, he’ll have a dozen the next time he looks abroad, his eyes have charms not to be resisted. There needs no more than to expose that taking person to the view of the fair, and he leads ’em all in triumph.
 
PEDRO
28Sir, though I’m a stranger to you, I’m ashamed at the rudeness of my nation; and could you learn who did it, would assist you to make an example of ’em.
 
BLUNT
29Why, aye, there’s one speaks sense now, and handsomely. And let me tell you, gentlemen, I should not have showed myself like a jack pudding thus to have made you mirth, but that I have revenge within my power. For know, I have got into my possession a female who had better have fallen under any curse than the ruin I design her. ’Dsheartlikins, she assaulted me here in my own lodgings, and had doubtless committed a rape upon me had not this sword defended me.
 
FREDERICK
30I knew not that, but o’ my conscience thou hadst ravished her had she not redeemed herself with a ring. Let’s see’t, Blunt.
 
Blunt shows the ring
BELVILE
31Hah, the ring I gave Florinda when we exchanged our vows! Hark ye, Blunt –
 
Goes to whisper to him
WILLMORE
32No whispering, good colonel, there’s a woman in the case, no whispering.
 
BELVILE
33Hark ye, fool, be advised and conceal both the ring and the story for your reputation’s sake; don’t let people know what despised cullies we English are: to be cheated and abused by one whore, and another rather bribe thee than be kind to thee, is an infamy to our nation.
 
WILLMORE
34Come, come, where’s the wench? We’ll see her, let her be what she will, we’ll see her.
 
PEDRO
35Ay, ay, let us see her, I can soon discover whether she be of quality or for your diversion.
 
BLUNT
36She’s in Fred’s custody.
 
WILLMORE
37
(To Frederick, who gives him the key)Come, come, the key.
 
They are going
BELVILE
38AsideDeath! What shall I do? Stay, Gentlemen!
AsideYet if I hinder ’em, I shall discover all. Hold, let’s go one at once, give me the key.
 
WILLMORE
39Nay, hold there, colonel, I’ll go first.
 
FREDERICK
40Nay, no dispute, Ned and I have the property of her.
 
WILLMORE
41Damn property! Then we’ll draw cuts.
(Belvile goes to whisper to Willmore)
Nay, no corruption, good colonel: come, the longest sword carries her.
 
They all draw, forgetting Don Pedro, being a Spaniard, had the longest
BLUNT
42I yield up my interest to you gentlemen, and that will be revenge sufficient.
 
WILLMORE
43
(To Pedro)The wench is yours. Pox of his Toledo, I had forgot that!
 
FREDERICK
44Come, Sir, I’ll conduct you to the lady.
 
Exit Frederick and Pedro
BELVILE
45(Aside)To hinder him will certainly discover! Dost know, dull beast, what mischief thou hast done?
 
Willmore walking up and down out of humor
WILLMORE
46Aye, aye, to trust our fortune to lots, a devil on’t, ’twas madness, that’s the rruth on’t.
 
BELVILE
47Oh, intolerable sot!
 
Enter Florinda, running masked, Pedro after her, Willmore gazing round her
FLORINDA
48(Aside)Good Heaven, defend me from discovery!
 
PEDRO
49’Tis but in vain to fly me, you are fallen to my lot.
 
BELVILE
50AsideSure she is undiscovered yet, but now I fear there is no way to bring her off.
 
WILLMORE
51AsideWhy, what a pox is not this my woman, the same I followed but now?
 
Pedro talking to Florinda, who walks up and down
PEDRO
52As if I did not know ye, and your business here.
 
FLORINDA
53(Aside)Good Heaven! I fear he does indeed!
 
PEDRO
54Come, pray be kind, I know you meant to be so when you entered here, for these are proper gentlemen.
 
WILLMORE
55But, sir, perhaps the lady will not be imposed upon, she’ll choose her man.
 
PEDRO
56I am better bred than not to leave her choice free.
 
Enter Valeria, and is surprised at the sight of Don Pedro
VALERIA
57(Aside)Don Pedro here! There’s no avoiding him.
 
FLORINDA
58(Aside)Valeria! Then I’m undone!
 
VALERIA
59
(To Pedro, running to him)Oh! have I found you, sir! The strangest accident! If I had breath – to tell it!
 
PEDRO
60Speak: is Florinda safe? Hellena well?
 
VALERIA
61Aye, aye, sir – Florinda – is safe – from any fears of you.
 
PEDRO
62Why, where’s Florinda? Speak.
 
VALERIA
63Aye, where indeed, sir? I wish I could inform you – but to hold you no longer in doubt –
 
FLORINDA
64(Aside)Oh, what will she say!
 
VALERIA
65She’s fled away in the habit of one of her pages, sir, but Callis thinks you may retrieve her yet if you make haste away; she’ll tell you, sir, the rest – (Aside)if you can find her out.
 
PEDRO
66Dishonourable girl, she has undone my aim! Sir, you see my necessity of leaving you, and I hope you’ll pardon it: my sister, I know, will make her flight to you; and if she do, I shall expect she should be rendered back.
 
BELVILE
67I shall consult my love and honor, sir.
 
Exit Pedro
FLORINDA
68
(To Valeria)My dear preserver, let me embrace thee!
 
WILLMORE
69What the devil’s all this?
 
BLUNT
70Mystery by this light.
 
VALERIA
71Come, come, make haste and get yourselves married quickly, for your brother will return again.
 
BELVILE
72I am so surprised with fears and joys, so amazed to find you here in safety, I can scarce persuade my heart into a faith of what I see.
 
WILLMORE
73Hark ye, colonel, is this that mistress who has cost you so many sighs, and me so many quarrels with you?
 
BELVILE
74It is!
(To Florinda)Pray give him the honor of your hand.
 
WILLMORE
75Thus it must be received then.
(Kneels and kisses her hand)
And with it give your pardon too.
 
FLORINDA
76The friend to Belvile may command me anything.
 
WILLMORE
77(Aside)Death, would I might, ’tis a surprising beauty.
 
BELVILE
78Boy, run and fetch a father instantly.
 
Exit Boy
FREDERICK
79So, now do I stand like a dog, and have not a syllable to plead my own cause with. By this hand, madam, I was never thoroughly confounded before, nor shall I ever more dare look up with confidence till you are pleased to pardon me.
 
FLORINDA
80Sir, I’ll be reconciled to you on one condition, that you’ll follow the example of your friend in marrying a maid that does not hate you and whose fortune (I believe) will not be unwelcome to you.
 
FREDERICK
81Madam, had I no inclinations that way, I should obey your kind commands.
 
BELVILE
82Who? Fred marry? He has so few inclinations for womankind that had he been possessed of Paradise he might have continued there to this day if no crime but love could have disinherited him.
 
FREDERICK
83Oh, I do not use to boast of my intrigues.
 
BELVILE
84Boast! Why thou dost nothing but boast; and I dare swear, wer’t thou as innocent from the sin of the grape as thou art from the apple, thou mightest yet claim that right in Eden which our first parents lost by too much loving.
 
FREDERICK
85I wish this lady would think me so modest a man.
 
VALERIA
86She should be sorry then, and not like you half so well, and I should be loathe to break my word with you, which was that if your friend and mine are agreed it should be a match between you and I.
 
She gives him her hand
FREDERICK
87Bear witness, colonel, ’tis a bargain.
 
Kisses her hand
BLUNT
88
(To Florinda)I have a pardon to beg too; but adsheartlikins I am so out of countenance that I am a dog if I can say anything to purpose.
 
FLORINDA
89Sir, I heartily forgive you all.
 
BLUNT
90That’s nobly said, sweet lady. Belvile, prithee present her her ring again, for I find I have not courage to approach her myself.
 
Gives him the ring, he gives it to Florinda
Enter Boy
BOY
91Sir, I have brought the father that you sent for.
 
BELVILE
92’Tis well, and now my dear Florinda, let’s fly to complete that mighty joy we have so long wished and sighed for. Come, Fred, you’ll follow?
 
FREDERICK
93Your example, sir, ’twas ever my ambition in war, and must be so in love.
 
WILLMORE
94And must not I see this juggling knot tied?
 
BELVILE
95No, thou shalt do us better service, and be our guard, lest Don Pedro’s sudden return interrupt the ceremony.
 
WILLMORE
96Content: I’ll secure this pass.
 
Exit Belvile, Florinda, Frederick, and Valeria
Enter Boy
BOY
97
(To Willmore)Sir, there’s a lady without would speak to you.
 
WILLMORE
98Conduct her in, I dare not quit my post.
 
BOY
99And, sir, your tailor waits you in your chamber.
 
BLUNT
100Some comfort yet: I shall not dance naked at the wedding!
 
Exit Blunt and Boy
Enter again the Boy, conducting in Angellica in a masking habit and a vizard; Willmore runs to her]
WILLMORE
101AsideThis can be none but my pretty gypsy! Oh, I see you can follow as well as fly! Come, confess thyself the most malicious devil in nature, you think you have done my business with Angellica –
 
ANGELLICA
102Stand off, base villain!
 
She draws a pistol and holds to his breast
WILLMORE
103AsideHah, ’tis not she! Who art thou? And what’s thy business?
 
ANGELLICA
104One thou hast injured, and who comes to kill thee for’t.
 
WILLMORE
105What the devil canst thou mean?
 
ANGELLICA
106By all my hopes to kill thee.
 
Holds still the pistol to his breast, he going back, she following still
WILLMORE
107Prithee on what acquaintance? For I know thee not.
 
ANGELLICA
108
Behold this face! So lost to thy remembrance!
And then call all thy sins about thy soul,
And let them die with thee.
 
 
Pulls off her vizard
ANGELLICA
110
Yes, Traitor!
Does not thy guilty blood run shivering through thy ceins?
Hast thou no horror at this sight, that tells thee,
Thou hast not long to boast thy shameful conquest?
 
 
WILLMORE
111Faith no, child, my blood keeps its old ebbs and flows still, and that usual heat too, that could oblige thee with a kindness had I but opportunity.
 
ANGELLICA
112Devil! Dost wanton with my pain, have at thy heart!
 
WILLMORE
113Hold, dear virago! Hold thy hand a little, I am not now at leisure to be killed, hold and hear me. (Aside)Death, I think she’s in earnest.
 
ANGELLICA
114
[Aside, turning from Willmore]
Oh if I take not heed,
 
My coward heart will leave me to his mercy.
What have you, sir, to say? But should I hear thee,
Thou’ldst talk away all that is brave about me,
(Follows him with the pistol to his breast)
And I have vowed thy death, by all that’s sacred.
 
 
WILLMORE
115Why, then there’s an end of a proper handsome fellow, that might have lived to have done good service yet: that’s all I can say to’t.
 
ANGELLICA
116
(Pausingly)Yet – I would give thee – time for penitence.
 
WILLMORE
117Faith, child, I thank God, I have ever took care to lead a good, sober, hopeful life, and am of a religion that teaches me to believe, I shall depart in peace.
 
ANGELLICA
118
So will the devil: tell me,
How many poor believing fools thou hast undone?
How many hearts thou hast betrayed to ruin?
Yet these are little mischiefs to the ills
Thou’st taught mine to commit: thou’st taught it love.
 
 
WILLMORE
119Egad, ’twas shrewdly hurt the while.
 
ANGELLICA
120
Love, that has robbed it of its unconcern,
Of all that pride that taught me how to value it,
And in its room a mean submissive passion was conveyed
That made me humbly bow, which I ne’er did
To anything but Heaven.
Thou, perjured man, didst this, and with thy oaths
Which on thy knees thou didst devoutly make,
Softened my yielding heart; And then I was a slave,
Yet still had been content to’ve worn my chains,
Worn ’em with vanity and joy forever,
Hadst thou not broke those vows that put them on.
’Twas then I was undone.
 
 
All this while follows him with a pistol to his breast
WILLMORE
121
Broke my vows! Why, where hast thou lived?
Amongst the gods! For I never heard of mortal man,
That has not broke a thousand vows.
 
 
WILLMORE
123
Angellica! That beauty has been too long tempting
Not to have made a thousand lovers languish,
Who in the amorous favor, no doubt have sworn
Like me; did they all die in that faith? Still adoring?
I do not think they did.
 
 
ANGELLICA
124No, faithless man. Had I repaid their vows, as I did thine, I would have killed the ungrateful that had abandoned me.
 
WILLMORE
125This old general has quite spoiled thee: nothing makes a woman so vain as being flattered. Your old lover ever supplies the defects of age with intolerable dotage, vast charge, and that which you call constancy; and attributing all this to your own merits you domineer, and throw your favors in’s teeth, upbraiding him still with the defects of age and cuckold him as often as he deceives your expectations. But the gay, young, brisk lover that brings his equal fires and can give you dart for dart, he’ll be as nice as you sometimes.
 
ANGELLICA
126
All this thou’st made me know, for which I hate thee.
Had I remained in innocent security,
I should have thought all men were born my slaves,
And worn my power like lightning in my eyes
To have destroyed at pleasure when offended.
But when love held the mirror, the undeceiving glass
Reflected all the weakness of my soul, and made me know,
My richest treasure being lost, my honor,
All the remaining spoil could not be worth
The conqueror’s care or value.
Oh, how I fell like a long-worshiped idol,
Discovering all the cheat!
Would not the incense and rich sacrifice,
Which blind devotion offered at my altars,
Have fallen to thee?
Why woudst thou then destroy my fancied power?
 
 
WILLMORE
127
By Heaven, thou art brave, and I admire thee strangely.
I wish I were that dull, that constant thing,
Which thou woudst have, and nature never meant me.
I must, like cheerful birds, sing in all groves,
And perch on every bough,
Billing the next kind she that flies to meet me.
Yet after all could build my nest with thee,
Thither repairing when I’d loved my round,
And still reserve a tributary flame.
To gain your credit, I’ll pay you back your charity
And be obliged for nothing but for love.
 
 
Offers her a purse of gold
ANGELLICA
128
Oh that thou wert in earnest!
So mean a thought of me
Would turn my rage to scorn, and I should pity thee
And give thee leave to live,
Which for the public safety of our sex,
And my own private injuries, I dare not do.
Prepare –
(Follows still, as before)
– I will no more be tempted with replies.
 
 
ANGELLICA
130Another word will damn thee! I’ve heard thee talk too long.
 
She follows him with a pistol ready to shoot: he retires still amazed
Enter Don Antonio, his arm in a scarf, and lays hold on the pistol
ANTONIO
131Hah! Angellica!
 
ANGELLICA
132Antonio! What devil brought thee hither?
 
ANTONIO
133Love and curiosity, seeing your coach at door. Let me disarm you of this unbecoming instrument of death.
(Takes away the pistol)
Amongst the number of your slaves, was there not one worthy the honor to have fought your quarrel? Who are you, sir, that are so very wretched to merit death from her?
 
WILLMORE
134One, sir, that could have made a better end of an amorous quarrel without you than with you.
 
ANTONIO
135Sure, ’tis some rival! Hah, the very man took down her picture yesterday, the very same that set on me last night; blessed opportunity!
 
Offers to shoot him
ANGELLICA
136Hold, you’re mistaken, Sir.
 
ANTONIO
137By Heaven, the very same! Sir, what pretensions have you to this lady?
 
WILLMORE
138Sir, I don’t use to be examined, and am ill at all disputes but this.
 
Draws; Antonio offers to shoot
ANGELLICA
139
(To Willmore)
Oh, hold! you see he’s armed with certain death!
 
And you, Antonio, I command you hold,
By all the passion you’ve so lately vowed me.
 
 
Enter Don Pedro, sees Antonio, and stays
PEDRO
140(Aside)Hah, Antonio! And Angellica!
 
ANTONIO
141
When I refuse obedience to your will,
May you destroy me with your mortal hate.
By all that’s holy, I adore you so,
That even my rival, who has charms enough
To make him fall a victim to my jealousy,
Shall live, nay, and have leave to love on still.
 
 
PEDRO
142(Aside)What’s this I hear?
 
ANGELLICA
143
(Pointing to Willmore)
Ah thus, ’twas thus he talked, and I believed. Antonio, yesterday,
 
I’d not have sold my interest in his heart
For all the sword has won and lost in battle.
To Willmore
But now, to show my utmost of contempt,
 
I give thee life, which if thou wouldst preserve;
Live where my eyes may never see thee more,
Live to undo someone whose soul may prove
So bravely constant to revenge my love.
 
 
Goes out; Antonio follows, but Pedro pulls him back
PEDRO
146
What coward fear was that prevented thee
From meeting me this morning on the Molo?
 
 
PEDRO
148
Yes, me; I was the man that dared thee to’t.
 
 
ANTONIO
149
Hast thou so often seen me fight in war,
To find no better cause to excuse my absence?
I sent my sword and one to do thee right,
Finding myself uncapable to use a sword.
 
 
PEDRO
150
But ’twas Florinda’s quarrel that we fought,
And you to show how little you esteemed her,
Sent me your rival, giving him your interest.
But I have found the cause of this affront,
But when I meet you fit for the dispute,
I’ll tell you my resentment.
 
 
ANTONIO
151
I shall be ready, sir, ere long to do you reason.
 
 
Exit Antonio
PEDRO
152If I could find Florinda, now whilst my anger’s high, I think I should be kind and give her to Belvile in revenge.
 
WILLMORE
153Faith, Sir, I know not what you would do, but I believe the priest within has been so kind.
 
PEDRO
154How! My sister married?
 
WILLMORE
155I hope by this time she is, and bedded too, or he has not my longings about him.
 
PEDRO
156Dares he do thus? Does he not fear my power?
 
WILLMORE
157Faith, not at all. If you will go in, and thank him for the favor he has done your sister, so. If not, sir, my power’s greater in this house than yours: I have a damned surly crew here that will keep you till the next tide, and then clap you and board my prize. My ship lies but a league off the Molo, and we shall show your donship a damned Tramontana rover’s trick.
 
Enter Belvile
BELVILE
158AsideThis rogue’s in some new mischief – hah, Pedro returned!
 
PEDRO
159Colonel Belvile, I hear you have married my sister.
 
BELVILE
160You have heard truth then, sir.
 
PEDRO
161Have I so? Then, sir, I wish you joy.
 
PEDRO
163By this embrace I do, and I glad on’t.
 
BELVILE
164Are you in earnest?
 
PEDRO
165By our long friendship and my obligations to thee, I am. The sudden change I’ll give you reasons for anon. Come, lead me into my sister, that she may know I now approve her choice.
 
Exit Belvile with Pedro
Willmore goes to follow them; Enter Hellena as before in boy’s clothes, and pulls him back
WILLMORE
166Ha, my gypsy! Now a thousand blessings on thee for this kindness. Egad, child, I was e’en in despair of ever seeing thee again; my friends are all provided for within, each man his kind woman.
 
HELLENA
167Hah! I thought they had served me some such trick.
 
WILLMORE
168And I was e’en resolved to go aboard, condemn myself to my lone cabin and the thoughts of thee.
 
HELLENA
169And could you have left me behind? Would you have been so ill-natured?
 
WILLMORE
170Why, ’twould have broke my heart, child. But since we are met again, I defy foul weather to part us.
 
HELLENA
171And would you be a faithful friend now, if a maid should trust you?
 
WILLMORE
172For a friend I cannot promise, thou art of a form so excellent, a face and humor too good for cold dull friendship. I am parlously afraid of being in love, child, and you have not forgot how severely you have used me.
 
HELLENA
173That’s all one, such usage you must still look for, to find out all your haunts, to rail at you to all that love you, till I have made you love only me in your own defense, because nobody else will love.
 
WILLMORE
174But hast thou no better quality to recommend thyself by?
 
HELLENA
175Faith none, captain. Why, ’twill be the greater charity to take me for thy mistress: I am a lone child, a kind of orphan lover, and why I should die a maid, and in a captain’s hands too, I do not understand.
 
WILLMORE
176Egad, I was never clawed away with broadsides from any female before; thou hast one virtue I adore: good nature. I hate a coy demure mistress, she’s as troublesome as a colt, I’ll break none. No, give me a mad mistress when mewed, and in flying on[e] I dare trust upon the wing that whilst she’s kind will come to the lure.
 
HELLENA
177Nay, as kind as you will, good Captain, whilst it lasts, but let’s lose no time.
 
WILLMORE
178My time’s as precious to me as thine can be; therefore, dear creature, since we are so well agreed, let’s retire to my chamber, and if ever thou were treated with such savory love – come – my bed’s prepared for such a guest, all clean and sweet as thy fair self. I love to steal a dish and a bottle with a friend, and hate long graces. Come, let’s retire and fall to.
 
HELLENA
179’Tis but getting my consent, and the business is soon done; let but old gaffer hymen and his priest say “amen” to’t, and I dare lay my mother’s daughter by as proper a fellow as your father’s son without fear or blushing.
 
WILLMORE
180Hold, hold, no bug words, child! Priest and hymen! Prithee add hangman to ’em to make up the consort! No, no, we’ll have no vows but love, child, nor witness but the lover; the kind deity enjoins naught but love and enjoy. Hymen and priest wait still upon portion and jointure; love and beauty have their own ceremonies. Marriage is as certain a bane to love as lending money is to friendship: I’ll neither ask nor give a vow, though I could be content to turn gypsy and become a left-hand bridegroom to have the pleasure of working that great miracle of making a maid a mother, if you durst venture. ’Tis upse gypsy that, and if I miss, I’ll lose my labor.
 
HELLENA
181And if you do not lose, what shall I get? A cradle full of noise and mischief, with a pack of repentance at my back? Can you teach me to weave incle to pass my time with? ’Tis upse gypsy that too.
 
WILLMORE
182I can teach thee to weave a true love’s knot better.
 
HELLENA
183So can my dog.
 
WILLMORE
184Well, I see we are both upon our guard, and I see there’s no way to conquer good nature, but by yielding: here, give me thy hand, one kiss and I am thine.
 
HELLENA
185One kiss! How like my page he speaks; I am resolved you shall have none, for asking such a sneaking sum. He that will be satisfied with one kiss will never die of that longing. Good friend Single-kiss, is all your talking come to this? A kiss, a caudle! Farewell, Captain Single-kiss!
 
Going out he stays her
WILLMORE
186Nay, if we part so let me die like a bird upon a bough, at the sheriff’s charge. By Heaven, both the Indies shall not buy thee from me. I adore thy humor and will marry thee, and we are so of one humor, it must be a bargain. Give me thy hand –
(Kisses her hand)– and now let the blind ones (love and fortune) do their worst.
 
HELLENA
187Why, God-a-mercy, captain!
 
WILLMORE
188But hark ye: the bargain is now made, but is it not fit we should know each other’s names? That when we have reason to curse one another hereafter, and people ask me who ’tis I give to the devil, I may at least be able to tell what family you came of?
 
HELLENA
189Good reason, captain, and where I have cause (as I doubt not but I shall have plentiful) that I may know at whom to throw my – blessings – I beseech ye your name.
 
WILLMORE
190I am called Robert the Constant.
 
HELLENA
191A very fine name! Pray, was it your faulkner or butler that christened you? Do they not use to whistle when then call you?
 
WILLMORE
192I hope you have a better, that a man may name without crossing himself, you are so merry with mine.
 
HELLENA
193I am called Hellena the Inconstant.
 
Enter Pedro, Belvile, Florinda, Frederick, Valeria
HELLENA
196The very same! Hah, my brother! Now, captain, show your love and courage: stand to your arms and defend me bravely, or I am lost forever.
 
PEDRO
197
(Goes roughly to her)What’s this I hear? False girl, how came you hither, and what’s your business? Speak.
 
WILLMORE
198
(Puts himself between)Hold off, sir, you have leave to parley only.
 
HELLENA
199I had e’en as good tell it, as you guess it. Faith, brother, my business is the same with all living creatures of my age: to love, and be loved, and here’s the man.
 
PEDRO
200Perfidious maid, hast thou deceived me too? Deceived thyself and Heaven?
 
HELLENA
201’Tis time enough to make my peace with that: be you but kind, let me alone with Heaven.
 
PEDRO
202Belvile, I did not expect this false play from you. Was’t not enough you’d gain Florinda (which I pardoned) but your lewd friends too must be enriched with the spoils of a noble family?
 
BELVILE
203Faith, sir, I am as much surprised at this as you can be. Yet, sir, my friends are gentlemen, and ought to be esteemed for their misfortunes, since they have the glory to suffer with the best of men and kings. ’Tis true, he’s a rover of fortune, yet a prince aboard his little wooden world.
 
PEDRO
204What’s this to the maintenance of a woman or her birth and quality?
 
WILLMORE
205Faith, sir, I can boast of nothing but a sword which does me right where-e’er I come, and has defended a worse cause than a woman’s. And since I loved her before I either knew her birth or name, I must pursue my resolution and marry her.
 
PEDRO
206And is all your holy intent of becoming a nun debauched into a desire of man?
 
HELLENA
207Why, I have considered the matter, brother, and find the three hundred thousand crowns my uncle left me (and you cannot keep from me) will be better laid out in love than in religion, and turn to as good an account. Let most voices carry it: for Heaven or the captain?
 
ALL
208A captain, a captain!
 
HELLENA
209Look ye, sir, ’tis a clear case.
 
PEDRO
210Oh I am mad. (Aside)If I refuse, my life’s in danger! Come, there’s one motive induces me: take her, I shall now be free from the fear of her honor; guard it you now, if you can, I have been a slave to’t long enough.
 
Gives her to him
WILLMORE
211Faith, sir, I am of a nation that are of opinion a woman’s honor is not worth guarding when she has a mind to part with it.
 
HELLENA
212Well said, captain!
 
PEDRO
213
(To Valeria)This was your plot, mistress, but I hope you have married one that will revenge my quarrel to you.
 
VALERIA
214There’s no altering destiny, sir.
 
PEDRO
215Sooner than a woman’s will, therefore I forgive you all and wish you may get my father’s pardon as easily; which I fear.
 
Enter Blunt dressed in a Spanish habit, looking very ridiculously; his man adjusting his band]
MAN
216’Tis very well, sir.
 
BLUNT
217Well, sir, ’dsheartlikins I tell you ’tis damnable ill, sir! A Spanish habit, good lord! Could the devil and my tailor devise no other punishment for me but the mode of a nation I abominate?
 
BELVILE
218What’s the matter, Ned?
 
BLUNT
219Pray view me round, and judge.
 
Turns round
BELVILE
220I must confess thou art a kind of an odd figure.
 
BLUNT
221In a Spanish habit with a vengeance! I had rather be in the Inquisition for Judaism than in this doublet and breeches. A pillory were an easy collar to this, three handfuls high! And these shoes too are worse than the stocks, with the sole an inch shorter than my foot. In fine, gentlemen, methinks I look altogether like a bag of bays, stuffed full of fool’s flesh.
 
BELVILE
222Methinks ’tis well, and makes thee look e’en cavalier. Come, sir, settle your face, and salute our friends, lady –
 
BLUNT
223Hah! Sayest thou so, my little rover?
(To Hellena)Lady, (if you be one) give me leave to kiss your hand, and tell you, adsheartlikins, for all I look so, I am your humble servant. A pox of my Spanish habit!
 
WILLMORE
224Hark, what’s this?
 
Music is heard to play
Enter Boy
BOY
225Sir, as the custom is, the gay people in masquerade, who make every man’s house their own, are coming up.
 
Enter several men and women in masking habits, with music, they put themselves in order and dance
BLUNT
226Adsheartlikins, would ’twere lawful to pull off their false faces, that I might see if my doxy were not amongst ’em.
 
BELVILE
227
(To the maskers)Ladies and gentlemen, since you are come so a propos, you must take a small collation with us.
 
WILLMORE
228Whilst we’ll to the good man within, who stays to give us a cast of his office.
To Hellena
Have you no trembling at the near approach?
 
HELLENA
229No more than you have in an engagement or a tempest.
 
WILLMORE
230
Egad, thou’rt a brave girl, and I admire thy love and courage.
Lead on, no other dangers they can dread,
Who venture in the storms o’th’ marriage bed.
 
 
Exeunt