A New Way To Pay Old Debts New Way To Pay Old Debts A EMOTHE0309

Texto utilizado para esta edición digital:
Massinger, Philip. A New Way to Pay Old Debts. Edited by David Bevington and checked by Eric Rasmussen. En: Bevington, David, Lars Engle, Katharine Eisaman Maus, and Eric Rasmussen (eds.) English Renaissance Drama: A Norton Anthology. New York and London: W. W. Norton & Company, 2002.

Adaptación digital para EMOTHE:

Tronch Pérez, Jesus

Note on this digital edition

Reproduced with kind permission by W. W. Norton & Company. ©W. W. Norton & Company

With the support of research project GVAICO2016-094, funded by Generalitat Valenciana.

Dramatis Personae

Lovell, an English lord

Sir Giles Overreach, a cruel extortioner

[Frank] Wellborn, a prodigal [nephew to Overreach]

[Tom] Allworth, a young gentleman, page to Lord Lovell [and stepson to Lady Allworth]

Greedy, a hungry justice of peace

[Jack] Marall, a term driver, a creature of Sir Giles Overreach

Order, [a steward] }

Amble, [an usher] } servants to the Lady Allworth

Furnace, [a cook] }

Watchall, [a porter] }

Willdo, a parson

Tapwell, an alehouse-keeper

Three Creditors

The Lady Allworth, a rich widow [Tom Allworth’s stepmother]

Margaret, Overreach his daughter

Waiting-woman, } [to Lady Allworth]

Chambermaid, }

Froth, Tapwell’s wife

[Servants]

[THE SCENE: The countryside near Nottingham]

1.1

[Enter] Wellborn [in ragged clothes], Tapwell, [and] Froth.

WELLBORN

No booze? Nor no tobacco?

TAPWELL

Not a suck, sir,

Nor the remainder of a single can

Left by a drunken porter, all night palled too.

FROTH

Not the dropping of the tap for your morning's draft, sir.

'Tis verity, I assure you.

WELLBORN

Verity, you brach!

The devil turned precisian? Rogue, what am I?

TAPWELL

Troth, durst I trust you with a looking glass

To let you see your trim shape, you would quit me

And take the name yourself.

WELLBORN

How, dog?

TAPWELL

Even so, sir.

And I must tell you, if you but advance

Your Plymouth cloak, you shall be soon instructed

There dwells—and within call, if it please Your Worship—

A potent monarch called the constable,

That does command a citadel called the stocks,

Whose guards are certain files of rusty billmen,

Such as with great dexterity will hale

Your tattered, lousy—

WELLBORN

Rascal! Slave!

FROTH

No rage, sir.

TAPWELL

[to Froth]

At his own peril.

[To Wellborn]

Do not put yourself

In too much heat, there being no water near

To quench your thirst; and sure, for other liquor,

As mighty ale or beer, they are things, I take it,

You must no more remember—not in a dream, sir.

WELLBORN

Why, thou unthankful villain, dar'st thou talk thus?

Is not thy house, and all thou hast, my gift?

TAPWELL

I find it not in chalk, and Timothy Tapwell

Does keep no other register.

WELLBORN

Am not I he

Whose riots fed and clothed thee? Wert thou not

Born on my father's land, and proud to be

A drudge in his house?

TAPWELL

What I was, sir, it skills not.

What you are is apparent. Now for a farewell:

Since you talk of father, in my hope it will torment you,

I'll briefly tell your story. Your dead father,

My quondam master, was a man of worship,

Old Sir John Wellborn, Justice of Peace and Quorum,

And stood fair to be Custos Rotulorum,

Bare the whole sway of the shire, kept a great house,

Relieved the poor, and so forth; but he dying,

And the twelve hundred a year coming to you,

Late Master Francis, but now forlorn Wellborn—

WELLBORN

Slave, stop, or I shall lose myself.

FROTH

Very hardly;

You cannot out of your way.

TAPWELL

But to my story.

You were then a lord of acres, the prime gallant,

And I your under-butler. Note the change now.

You had a merry time of't—hawks and hounds,

With choice of running horses, mistresses

Of all sort and all sizes—yet so hot

As their embraces made your lordship melt.

Which your uncle, Sir Giles Overreach, observing,

Resolving not to lose a drop of 'em

On foolish mortgages, statutes, and bonds,

For a while supplied your looseness, and then left you.

WELLBORN

Some curate hath penned this invective, mongrel,

And you have studied it.

TAPWELL

I have not done yet.

Your land gone, and your credit not worth a token,

You grew the common borrower; no man scaped

Your paper pellets, from the gentleman

To the beggars on highways, that sold you switches

In your gallantry.

WELLBORN

I shall switch your brains out.

TAPWELL

Where poor Tim Tapwell, with a little stock,

Some forty pounds or so, bought a small cottage,

Humbled myself to marriage with my Froth here,

Gave entertainment—

WELLBORN

Yes, to whores and canters,

Clubbers by night.

TAPWELL

True, but they brought in profit,

And had a gift to pay for what they called for,

And stuck not like Your Mastership. The poor income

I gleaned from them hath made me in my parish

Thought worthy to be scavenger, and in time

May rise to be overseer of the poor—

Which if I do, on your petition, Wellborn,

I may allow you thirteenpence a quarter,

And you shall thank My Worship.

WELLBORN

Thus, you dogbolt!

And thus!

Beats and kicks him.

TAPWELL

[to Froth]

Cry out for help!

WELLBORN

Stir, and thou diest.

Your potent prince, the constable, shall not save you.

Hear me, ungrateful hellhound. Did not I

Make purses for you? Then you licked my boots,

And thought your holiday cloak too coarse to clean 'em.

'Twas I that, when I heard thee swear if ever

Thou couldst arrive at forty pounds thou wouldst

Live like an emperor, 'twas I that gave it

In ready gold. Deny this, wretch!

TAPWELL

I must sir,

For, from the tavern to the taphouse, all,

On forfeiture of their licenses, stand bound

Never to remember who their best guests were,

If they grew poor like you.

WELLBORN

They are well rewarded

That beggar themselves to make such cuckolds rich.

Thou viper, thankless viper! Impudent bawd!

But since you are grown forgetful, I will help

Your memory, and tread thee into mortar,

Not leave one bone unbroken.

[He beats Tapwell again.]

TAPWELL

Oh!

FROTH

Ask mercy!

Enter Allworth.

WELLBORN

'Twill not be granted.

ALLWORTH

Hold, for my sake, hold!

Deny me, Frank? They are not worth your anger.

WELLBORN

For once thou hast redeemed them from this scepter.

[Wellborn puts up] his cudgel.

But let 'em vanish, creeping on their knees,

And, if they grumble, I revoke my pardon.

FROTH

This comes of your prating, husband. You presumed

On your ambling wit, and must use your glib tongue

Though you are beaten lame for't.

TAPWELL

Patience, Froth.

There's law to cure our bruises.

They go off on their hands and knees.

WELLBORN

Sent to your mother?

ALLWORTH

My lady, Frank, my patroness! My all!

100

She's such a mourner for my father's death,

And, in her love to him, so favors me

That I cannot pay too much observance to her.

There are few such stepdames.

WELLBORN

'Tis a noble widow,

And keeps her reputation pure and clear

105

From the least taint of infamy; her life,

With the splendor of her actions, leaves no tongue

To envy or detraction. Prithee tell me:

Has she no suitors?

ALLWORTH

Even the best of the shire, Frank,

My lord excepted—such as sue and send,

110

And send and sue again, but to no purpose.

Their frequent visits have not gained her presence.

Yet she's so far from sullenness and pride

That I dare undertake you shall meet from her

A liberal entertainment. I can give you

115

A catalog of her suitors' names.

WELLBORN

Forbear it,

While I give you good counsel. I am bound to it;

Thy father was my friend, and that affection

I bore to him, in right descends to thee.

Thou art a handsome and a hopeful youth,

120

Nor will I have the least affront stick on thee,

If I with any danger can prevent it.

ALLWORTH

I thank your noble care. But pray you, in what

Do I run the hazard?

WELLBORN

Art thou not in love?

Put it not off with wonder.

ALLWORTH

In love, at my years?

WELLBORN

125

You think you walk in clouds, but are transparent.

I have heard all, and the choice that you have made,

And with my finger can point out the north star

By which the lodestone of your folly's guided.

And to confirm this true, what think you of

130

Fair Margaret, the only child and heir

Of cormorant Overreach? Does it blush and start

To hear her only named? Blush at your want

Of wit and reason.

ALLWORTH

You are too bitter, sir.

WELLBORN

Wounds of this nature are not to be cured

135

With balms, but corrosives. I must be plain:

Art thou scarce manumized from the porter's lodge,

And yet sworn servant to the pantofle,

And dar'st thou dream of marriage? I fear

'Twill be concluded for impossible

140

That there is now, nor e'er shall be hereafter,

A handsome page or players' boy of fourteen

But either loves a wench, or drabs love him—

Court-waiters not exempted.

ALLWORTH

This is madness.

Howe'er you have discovered my intents,

145

You know my aims are lawful; and if ever

The queen of flowers, the glory of the spring,

The sweetest comfort to our smell, the rose,

Sprang from an envious brier, I may infer

There's such disparity in their conditions

150

Between the goddess of my soul, the daughter,

And the base churl, her father.

WELLBORN

Grant this true,

As I believe it, canst thou ever hope

To enjoy a quiet bed with her whose father

Ruined thy state?

ALLWORTH

And yours too.

WELLBORN

I confess it.

155

True, I must tell you as a friend, and freely,

That, where impossibilities are apparent,

'Tis indiscretion to nourish hopes.

Canst thou imagine—let not self-love blind thee—

That Sir Giles Overreach, that, to make her great

160

In swelling titles, without touch of conscience

Will cut his neighbor's throat, and I hope his own too,

Will e'er consent to make her thine? Give o'er,

And think of some course suitable to thy rank,

And prosper in it.

ALLWORTH

You have well advised me.

165

But in the meantime, you that are so studious

Of my affairs wholly neglect your own.

Remember yourself, and in what plight you are.

WELLBORN

No matter, no matter.

ALLWORTH

Yes, 'tis much material.

You know my fortune and my means; yet something

170

I can spare from myself to help your wants.

[He offers money.]

WELLBORN

How's this?

ALLWORTH

Nay, be not angry. There's eight pieces

To put you in better fashion.

WELLBORN

Money from thee?

From a boy? A stipendiary? One that lives

At the devotion of a stepmother

175

And the uncertain favor of a lord?

I'll eat my arms first. Howsoe'er blind Fortune

Hath spent the utmost of her malice on me—

Though I am vomited out of an alehouse,

And, thus accoutred, know not where to eat,

180

Or drink, or sleep, but underneath this canopy—

Although I thank thee, I despise thy offer.

And, as I in my madness broke my state

Without th'assistance of another's brain,

In my right wits I'll piece it; at the worst

185

Die thus, and be forgotten.

ALLWORTH

A strange humor!

Exeunt.

1.2

[Enter] Order, Amble, Furnace, [and] Watchall.

ORDER

Set all things right, or—as my name is Order,

And by this staff of office that commands you,

This chain and double ruff, symbols of power—

Whoever misses in his function,

For one whole week makes forfeiture of his breakfast

And privilege in the wine cellar.

AMBLE

You are merry,

Good Master Steward.

FURNACE

Let him; I'll be angry.

AMBLE

Why, fellow Furnace, 'tis not twelve o'clock yet,

Nor dinner taking up; then 'tis allowed

Cooks by their places may be choleric.

FURNACE

You think you have spoke wisely, goodman Amble,

My lady's go-before!

ORDER

Nay, nay, no wrangling.

FURNACE

Twit me with the authority of the kitchen?

At all hours and all places I'll be angry;

And, thus provoked, when I am at my prayers,

I will be angry.

AMBLE

There was no hurt meant.

FURNACE

I am friends with thee, and yet I will be angry.

ORDER

With whom?

FURNACE

No matter whom. Yet, now I think on't,

I am angry with my lady.

WATCHALL

Heaven forbid, man!

ORDER

What cause has she given thee?

FURNACE

Cause enough, Master Steward.

I was entertained by her to please her palate,

And till she forswore eating I performed it.

Now since our master, noble Allworth, died,

Though I crack my brains to find out tempting sauces,

And raise fortifications in the pastry

Such as might serve for models in the Low Countries,

Which if they had been practiced at Breda,

Spinola might have thrown his cap at it and ne'er took it—

AMBLE

But you had wanted matter there to work on.

FURNACE

Matter? With six eggs and a strike of rye meal

I had kept the town till doomsday, perhaps longer.

ORDER

But, what's this to your pet against my lady?

FURNACE

What's this? Marry, this: when I am three parts roasted

And the fourth part parboiled to prepare her viands,

She keeps her chamber, dines with a panada

Or water-gruel, my sweat never thought on.

ORDER

But your art is seen in the dining room.

FURNACE

By whom?

By such as pretend love to her, but come

To feed upon her. Yet of all the Harpies

That do devour her, I am out of charity

With none so much as the thin-gutted squire

That's stol'n into commission.

ORDER

Justice Greedy?

FURNACE

The same, the same. Meat's cast away upon him;

It never thrives. He holds this paradox:

Who eats not well can ne'er do justice well.

His stomach's as insatiate as the grave,

Or strumpet's ravenous appetites.

WATCHALL

One knocks.

Allworth knocks, and enters.

ORDER

Our late young master!

AMBLE

Welcome, sir.

FURNACE

Your hand.

If you have a stomach, a cold bake-meat's ready.

ORDER

[to the others]

His father's picture in little.

FURNACE

We are all your servants.

AMBLE

In you he lives.

ALLWORTH

At once, my thanks to all.

This is yet some comfort. Is my lady stirring?

ORDER

Her presence answer for us.

Enter the Lady Allworth, Waiting-woman, [and] Chambermaid.

LADY ALLWORTH

[to her women]

Sort those silks well.

I'll take the air alone.

Exeunt Waiting-woman and Chambermaid.

FURNACE

You air and air,

But will you never taste but spoon-meat more?

To what use serve I?

LADY ALLWORTH

Prithee, be not angry;

I shall, ere long. I'the meantime, there is gold

To buy thee aprons and a summer suit.

[She gives money.]

FURNACE

I am appeased, and Furnace now grows cool.

LADY ALLWORTH

And, as I gave directions, if this morning

I am visited by any, entertain 'em

As heretofore, but say, in my excuse,

I am indisposed.

ORDER

I shall, madam.

LADY ALLWORTH

Do, and leave me.—

Nay, stay you, Allworth.

ALLWORTH

I shall gladly grow here

To wait on your commands.

Exeunt Order, Amble, Furnace, [and] Watchall.

LADY ALLWORTH

So soon turned courtier!

ALLWORTH

Style not that "courtship", madam, which is duty

Purchased on your part.

LADY ALLWORTH

Well, you shall o'ercome;

I'll not contend in words. How is it with

Your noble master?

ALLWORTH

Ever like himself,

No scruple lessened in the full weight of honor.

He did command me (pardon my presumption)

As his unworthy deputy to kiss

Your Ladyship's fair hands.

[He kisses her hands.]

LADY ALLWORTH

I am honored in

His favor to me. Does he hold his purpose

For the Low Countries?

ALLWORTH

Constantly, good madam,

But he will in person first present his service.

LADY ALLWORTH

And how approve you of his course? You are yet,

Like virgin parchment, capable of any

Inscription, vicious or honorable.

I will not force your will, but leave you free

To your own election.

ALLWORTH

Any form you please

I will put on; but, might I make my choice,

With humble emulation I would follow

The path my lord marks to me.

LADY ALLWORTH

'Tis well answered,

And I commend your spirit. You had a father—

Blessed be his memory!—that some few hours

Before the will of heaven took him from me,

Who did commend you, by the dearest ties

Of perfect love between us, to my charge;

And therefore what I speak you are bound to hear

With such respect as if he lived in me.

He was my husband, and howe'er you are not

Son of my womb, you may be of my love,

Provided you deserve it.

ALLWORTH

I have found you,

Most honored madam, the best mother to me,

And, with my utmost strengths of care and service,

Will labor that you never may repent

Your bounties showered upon me.

LADY ALLWORTH

I much hope it.

These were your father's words: "If e'er my son

100

Follow the war, tell him it is a school

Where all the principles tending to honor

Are taught, if truly followed; but for such

As repair thither as a place in which

They do presume they may with license practice

105

Their lusts and riots, they shall never merit

The noble name of soldiers. To dare boldly

In a fair cause, and for the country's safety

To run upon the cannon's mouth undaunted;

To obey their leaders, and shun mutinies;

110

To bear with patience the winter's cold

And summer's scorching heat, and not to faint,

When plenty of provision fails, with hunger,

Are the essential parts make up a soldier—

Not swearing, dice, or drinking."

ALLWORTH

There's no syllable

115

You speak but is to me an oracle,

Which but to doubt were impious.

LADY ALLWORTH

To conclude:

Beware ill company, for often men

Are like to those with whom they do conserve.

And from one man I warned you, and that's Wellborn;

120

Not 'cause he's poor—that rather claims your pity—

But that he's in his manners so debauched,

And hath to vicious courses sold himself.

'Tis true your father loved him while he was

Worthy the loving, but, if he had lived

125

To have seen him as he is, he had cast him off

As you must do.

ALLWORTH

I shall obey in all things.

LADY ALLWORTH

Follow me to my chamber; you shall have gold

To furnish you like my son, and still supplied

As I hear from you.

ALLWORTH

I am still your creature.

Exeunt.

1.3

[Enter] Overreach, Greedy, Order, Amble, Furnace, Watchall, [and] Marall.

GREEDY

Not to be seen?

OVERREACH

Still cloistered up? Her reason,

I hope, assures her, though she make herself

Close prisoner ever for her husband's loss,

'Twill not recover him.

ORDER

Sir, it is her will,

Which we that are her servants ought to serve it

And not dispute. Howe'er, you are nobly welcome,

And, if you please to stay, that you may think so,

There came not six days since from Hull a pipe

Of rich canary, which shall spend itself

For my lady's honor.

GREEDY

Is it of the right race?

ORDER

Yes, Master Greedy.

AMBLE

[aside to Furnace]

How his mouth runs o'er!

FURNACE

[aside to Amble]

I'll make it run, and run.—Save Your good Worship!

GREEDY

Honest Master Cook, thy hand again. How I love thee!

Are the good dishes still in being? Speak, boy.

FURNACE

If you have a mind to feed, there is a chine

Of beef, well seasoned.

GREEDY

Good!

FURNACE

A pheasant, larded.

GREEDY

That I might now give thanks for't?

FURNACE

Other kickshaws.

Besides, there came last night from the Forest of Sherwood

The fattest stag I ever cooked.

GREEDY

A stag, man?

FURNACE

A stag, sir—part of it prepared for dinner,

And baked in puff paste.

GREEDY

Puff paste too, Sir Giles!

A ponderous chine of beef! A pheasant larded!

And red deer too, Sir Giles, and baked in puff paste!

All business set aside; let us give thanks here.

FURNACE

[aside]

How the lean skeleton's rapt!

OVERREACH

You know we cannot.

MARALL

Your Worships are to sit on a commission,

And, if you fail to come, you lose the cause.

GREEDY

Cause me no causes. I'll prove't, for such a dinner

We may put off a commission: you shall find it

Henrici decimo quarto.

OVERREACH

Fie, Master Greedy,

Will you lose me a thousand pounds for a dinner?

No more, for shame! We must forget the belly

When we think of profit.

GREEDY

Well, you shall o'errule me.

I could ev'n cry now.—Do you hear, Master Cook?

Send but a corner of that immortal pasty,

And I, in thankfulness, will by your boy

Send you a brace of threepences.

FURNACE

[aside]

Will you be so prodigal?

Enter Wellborn.

OVERREACH

Remember me to your lady.—Who have we here?

WELLBORN

You know me.

OVERREACH

I did once, but now I will not;

Thou art no blood of mine. Avaunt, thou beggar!

If ever thou presume to own me more,

I'll have thee caged and whipped.

GREEDY

I'll grant the warrant.—

Think of Pie Corner, Furnace!

Exeunt Overreach, Greedy, [and] Marall.

WATCHALL

[to Wellborn]

Will you out, sir?

I wonder how you durst creep in.

ORDER

This is rudeness

And saucy impudence.

AMBLE

Cannot you stay

To be served among your fellows from the basket,

But you must press into the hall?

FURNACE

Prithee, vanish

Into some outhouse, though it be the pigsty;

My scullion shall come to thee.

Enter Allworth.

WELLBORN

This is rare.

Oh, here's Tom Allworth.—Tom!

ALLWORTH

We must be strangers,

Nor would I have you seen here for a million.

Exit Allworth.

WELLBORN

Better and better. He contemns me too?

Enter [Waiting-] woman and Chambermaid.

WAITING-WOMAN

Foh, what a smell's here! What thing's this?

CHAMBERMAID

A creature

Made out of the privy. Let us hence, for love's sake,

Or I shall swoon.

WAITING-WOMAN

I begin to faint already.

Exeunt [Waiting-] woman and Chambermaid.

WATCHALL

[to Wellborn]

Will you know your way?

AMBLE

Or shall we teach it you

By the head and shoulders?

WELLBORN

No. I will not stir.

Do you mark, I will not. Let me see the wretch

That dares attempt to force me. Why, you slaves,

Created only to make legs and cringe,

To carry in a dish and shift a trencher,

That have not souls only to hope a blessing

Beyond blackjacks or flagons—you that were born

Only to consume meat and drink, and batten

Upon reversions! Who advances? Who

Shows me the way?

ORDER

My lady!

Enter Lady [Allworth, Waiting-] woman, [and] Chambermaid.

CHAMBERMAID

Here's the monster.

WAITING-WOMAN

Sweet madam, keep your glove to your nose.

CHAMBERMAID

Or let me

Fetch some perfumes may be predominant;

You wrong yourself else.

WELLBORN

Madam, my designs

Bear me to you.

LADY ALLWORTH

To me?

WELLBORN

And though I have met with

But ragged entertainment from your grooms here,

I hope from you to receive that noble usage

As may become the true friend of your husband,

And then I shall forget these.

LADY ALLWORTH

I am amazed

To see and hear this rudeness. Dar'st thou think,

Though sworn, that it can ever find belief

That I, who to the best men of this country

Denied my presence since my husband's death,

Can fall so low as to change words with thee?

Thou son of infamy, forbear my house,

And know and keep the distance that's between us,

Or, though it be against my gentler temper,

I shall take order you no more shall be

An eyesore to me.

WELLBORN

Scorn me not, good lady;

But, as in form you are angelical,

Imitate the heavenly natures and vouchsafe

At the least awhile to hear me. You will grant

The blood that runs in this arm is as noble

As that which fills your veins; those costly jewels,

And those rich clothes you wear, your men's observance

And women's flattery are in you no virtues,

Nor these rags, with my poverty, in me vices.

You have a fair fame, and, I know, deserve it—

Yet, lady, I must say, in nothing more

Than in the pious sorrow you have shown

For your late noble husband.

ORDER

[aside to the others]

How she starts!

FURNACE

[aside]

And hardly can keep finger from eye

To hear him named!

LADY ALLWORTH

Have you aught else to say?

WELLBORN

100

That husband, madam, was once in his fortune

Almost as low as I. Want, debts, and quarrels

Lay heavy on him. Let it not be thought

A boast in me though I say I relieved him.

'Twas I that gave him fashion; mine the sword

105

That did on all occasions second his;

I brought him on and off with honor, lady.

And when in all men's judgements he was sunk,

And in his own hopes not to be buoyed up,

I stepped unto him, took him by the hand,

110

And set him upright.

FURNACE

[aside to the others]

Are not we base rogues,

That could forget this?

WELLBORN

I confess you made him

Master of your estate; nor could your friends,

Though he brought no wealth with him, blame you for't,

For he had a shape, and to that shape a mind

115

Made up of all parts either great or noble—

So winning a behavior not to be

Resisted, madam.

LADY ALLWORTH

'Tis most true. He had.

WELLBORN

For his sake, then, in that I was his friend,

Do not contemn me.

LADY ALLWORTH

For what's past, excuse me;

120

I will redeem it.—Order, give the gentleman

A hundred pounds.

WELLBORN

No, madam, on no terms.

I will nor beg nor borrow sixpence of you,

But be supplied elsewhere, or want thus ever.

Only one suit I make, which you deny not

125

To strangers; and 'tis this.

Whispers to her.

LADY ALLWORTH

Fie, nothing else?

WELLBORN

Nothing, unless you please to charge your servants

To throw away a little respect upon me.

LADY ALLWORTH

What you demand is yours.

WELLBORN

I thank you, lady.

Now what can be wrought out of such a suit

130

Is yet in supposition. I have said all;

When you please, you may retire.

[Exit Lady Allworth with Waiting-woman and Chambermaid.]

Nay, all's forgotten;

And, for a lucky omen to my project,

Shake hands and end all quarrels in the cellar.

ORDER

135

Agreed, agreed.

FURNACE

Still merry Master Wellborn!

Exeunt.

2.1

[Enter] Overreach [and] Marall.

OVERREACH

He's gone, I warrant thee; this commission crushed him.

MARALL

Your Worship have the way on't, and ne'er miss

To squeeze these unthrifts into air; and yet

The chap-fall'n justice did his part, returning

For your advantage the certificate,

Against his conscience and his knowledge too

(With your good favor), to the utter ruin

Of the poor farmer.

OVERREACH

'Twas for these good ends

I made him a justice. He that bribes his belly

Is certain to command his soul.

MARALL

I wonder

(Still with your license) why, Your Worship having

The power to put this thin-gut in commission,

You are not in't yourself?

OVERREACH

Thou art a fool.

In being out of office I am out of danger,

Where, if I were a justice, besides the trouble,

I might or out of willfulness or error

Run myself finely into a praemuníre,

And so become a prey to the informer.

No, I'll have none of't. 'Tis enough I keep

Greedy at my devotion; so he serve

My purposes, let him hang, or damn, I care not.

Friendship is but a word.

MARALL

You are all wisdom.

OVERREACH

I would be wordly-wise; for the other wisdom,

That does prescribe us a well-governed life,

And to do right to others as ourselves,

I value not an atom.

MARALL

What course take you,

With your good patience, to hedge in the manor

Of your neighbor Master Frugal? As 'tis said

He will nor sell nor borrow nor exchange,

And his land, lying in the midst of your many lordships,

Is a foul blemish.

OVERREACH

I have thought on't, Marrall,

And it shall take. I must have all men sellers,

And I the only purchaser.

MARALL

'Tis most fit, sir.

OVERREACH

I'll therefore buy some cottage near his manor,

Which done, I'll make my men break ope his fences,

Ride o'er his standing corn, and in the night

Set fire on his barns, or break his cattle's legs.

These trespasses draw on suits, and suits expenses,

Which I can spare, but will soon beggar him.

When I have harried him thus two or three year,

Though he sue in forma pauperis, in spite

Of all his thrift and care he'll grow behindhand.

MARALL

The best I ever heard! I could adore you.

OVERREACH

Then with the favor of my man of law,

I will pretend some title. Want will force him

To put it to arbitrament; then, if he sell

For half the value, he shall have ready money,

And I possess his land.

MARALL

'Tis above wonder!

Wellborn was apt to sell, and needed not

These fine arts, sir, to hook him in.

OVERREACH

Well thought on.

This varlet, Marall, lives too long to upbraid me

With my close cheat put upon him. Will nor cold

Nor hunger kill him?

MARALL

I know not what to think on't.

I have used all means, and the last night I caused

His host the tapster to turn him out of doors,

And have been since with all your friends and tenants,

And on the forfeit of your favour charged 'em,

Though a crust of moldy bread would keep him from starving,

Yet they should not relieve him. This is done, sir.

OVERREACH

That was something, Marall, but thou must go further,

And suddenly, Marall.

MARALL

Where and when you please, sir.

OVERREACH

I would have thee seek him out, and, if thou canst,

Persuade him that 'tis better steal than beg.

Then if I prove he has but robbed a henroost,

Not all the world shall save him from the gallows.

Do anything to work him to despair,

And 'tis thy masterpiece.

MARALL

I will do my best, sir.

OVERREACH

I am now on my main work with the Lord Lovell,

The gallant-minded, popular Lord Lovell;

The minion of the people's love. I hear

He's come into the country, and my aims are

To insinuate myself into his knowledge,

And then invite him to my house.

MARALL

I have you.

This points at my young mistress.

OVERREACH

She must part with

That humble title, and write "Honorable,"

"Right Honorable," Marall, my "Right Honorable" daughter,

If all I have, or e'er shall get, will do it.

I will have her well attended; there are ladies

Of errant knights decayed and brought so low

That, for cast clothes and meat, will gladly serve her.

And 'tis my glory, though I come from the city,

To have their issue, whom I have undone,

To kneel to mine as bondslaves.

MARALL

'Tis fit state, sir.

OVERREACH

And therefore, I'll not have a chambermaid

That ties her shoes, or any meaner office,

But such whose fathers were Right Worshipful.

'Tis a rich man's pride, there having ever been

More than a feud, a strange antipathy

Between us and true gentry.

Enter Wellborn.

MARALL

See who's here, sir.

OVERREACH

Hence, monster! Prodigy!

WELLBORN

Sir, your wife's nephew;

She and my father tumbled in one belly.

OVERREACH

Avoid my sight! Thy breath's infectious, rogue.

I shun thee as a leprosy, or the plague.—

Come hither, Marall.

[aside to him]

This is the time to work him.

MARALL

I warrant you, sir.

Exit Overreach.

WELLBORN

By this light, I think he's mad.

MARALL

Mad? Had you took compassion on yourself,

You long since had been mad.

WELLBORN

You have took a course,

Between you and my venerable uncle,

To make me so.

MARALL

The more pale-spirited you,

100

That would not be instructed. I swear deeply—

WELLBORN

By what?

MARALL

By my religion.

WELLBORN

Thy religion!

The devil's creed. But what would you have done?

MARALL

Had there been but one tree in all the shire,

Nor any hope to compass a penny halter,

105

Before, like you, I had outlived my fortunes,

A withe had served my turn to hang myself.

I am zealous in your cause; pray you, hang yourself,

And presently, as you love your credit.

WELLBORN

I thank you.

MARALL

Will you stay till you die in a ditch, or lice devour you?

110

Or if you dare not do the feat yourself,

But that you'll put the state to charge and trouble,

Is there no purse to be cut? House to be broken?

Or market women with eggs that you may murder,

And so dispatch the business?

WELLBORN

Here's variety,

115

I must confess; but I'll accept of none

Of all your gentle offers, I assure you.

MARALL

Why, have you hope ever to eat again?

Or drink? Or be the master of three farthings?

If you like not hanging, drown yourself. Take some course

120

For your reputation.

WELLBORN

'Twill not do, dear tempter,

With all the rhetoric the fiend hath taught you.

I am as far as thou art from despair;

Nay, I have confidence, which is more than hope,

To live, and suddenly, better than ever.

MARALL

125

Ha! Ha! These castles you build in the air

Will not persuade me or to give or lend

A token to you.

WELLBORN

I'll be more kind to thee.

Come, thou shalt dine with me.

MARALL

With you?

WELLBORN

Nay, more, dine gratis.

MARALL

Under what hedge, I pray you? Or at whose cost?

130

Are they padders or Abram-men that are your consorts?

WELLBORN

Thou art incredulous, but thou shalt dine

Not alone at her house, but with a gallant lady—

With me and with a lady.

MARALL

Lady? What lady?

With the Lady of the Lake, or Queen of Fairies?

135

For I know it must be an enchanted dinner.

WELLBORN

With the Lady Allworth, knave.

MARALL

Nay, now there's hope

Thy brain is cracked.

WELLBORN

Mark there with what respect

I am entertained.

MARALL

With choice, no doubt, of dog whips.

Why, dost thou ever hope to pass her porter?

WELLBORN

140

'Tis not far off; go with me. Trust thine own eyes.

MARALL

Troth, in my hope, or my assurance rather

To see thee curvet and mount like a dog in a blanket

If ever thou presume to pass her threshold,

I will endure thy company.

WELLBORN

Come along, then.

Exeunt.

2.2

[Enter] Allworth, Waiting-woman, Chambermaid, Order, Amble, Furnace, [and] Watchall.

WAITING-WOMAN

[to Allworth]

Could you not command your leisure one hour longer?

CHAMBERMAID

Or half an hour?

ALLWORTH

I have told you what my haste is.

Besides, being now another's, not mine own,

Howe'er I much desire to enjoy you longer,

My duty suffers if, to please myself,

I should neglect my lord.

WAITING-WOMAN

Pray you do me the favor

To put these few quince cakes into your pocket;

They are of mine own preserving.

CHAMBERMAID

And this marmalade;

'Tis comfortable for your stomach.

WAITING-WOMAN

And, at parting,

Excuse me if I beg a farewell from you.

CHAMBERMAID

[to her]

You are still before me.—I move the same suit, sir.

[Allworth] kisses 'em severally.

FURNACE

How greedy these chamberers are of a beardless chin!

I think the tits will ravish him.

ALLWORTH

My service

To both.

WAITING-WOMAN

Ours waits on you.

CHAMBERMAID

And shall do ever.

ORDER

[to the women]

You hear my lady's charge; be therefore careful

That you sustain your parts.

WAITING-WOMAN

We can bear, I warrant you.

Exeunt [Waiting-]woman and Chambermaid.

FURNACE

[to Allworth]

Here; drink it off. The ingredients are cordial,

And this the true elixir; it hath boiled

Since midnight for you. 'Tis the quintessence

Of five cocks of the game, ten dozen of sparrows,

Knuckles of veal, potato roots, and marrow,

Coral, and ambergris. Were you two years elder,

And I had a wife or gamesome mistress,

I durst trust you with neither. You need not bait

After this, I warrant you; though your journey's long,

You may ride on the strength of this till tomorrow morning.

ALLWORTH

Your courtesies overwhelm me. I much grieve

To part from such true friends, and yet find comfort;

My attendance on my honorable lord,

Whose resolution holds to visit my lady,

Will speedily bring me back.

Knocking at the gate; Marall and Wellborn [speak] within.

MARALL

[within]

Dar'st thou venture further?

WELLBORN

[within]

Yes, yes, and knock again.

ORDER

[to the others]

'Tis he! Disperse.

AMBLE

[to the others]

Perform it bravely.

FURNACE

I know my cue. Ne'er doubt me.

They go off several ways. [Allworth remains onstage.]

[Enter Watchall with Wellborn and Marall.]

WATCHALL

[to Wellborn]

Beast that I was, to make you stay! Most welcome.

You were long since expected.

WELLBORN

Say so much

To my friend, I pray you.

WATCHALL

For your sake I will, sir.

MARALL

[aside]

For his sake!

WELLBORN

[aside to Marall]

Mum! This is nothing.

MARALL

[aside]

More than ever

I would have believed, though I had found it in my primer.

ALLWORTH

When I have giv'n you reasons for my late harshness,

You'll pardon and excuse me, for, believe me,

Though now I part abruptly, in my service

I will deserve it.

MARALL

[aside]

Service! With a vengeance!

WELLBORN

I am satisfied. Farewell, Tom.

ALLWORTH

All joy stay with you!

Exit Allworth.

Enter Amble.

AMBLE

[to Wellborn]

You are happily encountered! I yet never

Presented one so welcome as I know

You will be to my lady.

MARALL

[aside]

This is some vision,

Or, sure, these men are mad, to worship a dunghill.

It cannot be a truth.

WELLBORN

[aside to Marall]

Be still a pagan,

An unbelieving infidel; be so, miscreant,

And meditate on blankets and on dog whips!

Enter Furnace.

FURNACE

[to Wellborn]

I am glad you are come. Until I know your pleasure,

I knew not how to serve up my lady's dinner.

MARALL

[aside]

His pleasure! Is it possible?

WELLBORN

[to Furnace]

What's thy will?

FURNACE

Marry, sir, I have some grouse, and turkey chicken,

Some rails, and quails, and my lady willed me ask you

What kind of sauces best affect your palate,

That I may use my utmost skill to please it.

[Wellborn and Furnace confer privately.]

MARALL

[aside]

The devil's entered this cook. Sauce for his palate,

That, on my knowledge, for almost this twelvemonth

Durst wish but cheese parings and brown bread on Sundays!

WELLBORN

[to Furnace]

That way I like 'em best.

FURNACE

It shall be done, sir.

Exit Furnace.

WELLBORN

[aside to Marall]

What think you of the hedge we shall dine under?

Shall we feed gratis?

MARALL

I know not what to think.

Pray you, make me not mad.

Enter Order.

ORDER

[to Wellborn]

This place becomes you not.

Pray you, walk, sir, to the dining room.

WELLBORN

I am well here

Till Her Ladyship quits her chamber.

MARALL

[aside]

"Well here," say you?

'Tis a rare change! But yesterday you thought

Yourself well in a barn, wrapped up in peas straw.

Enter [Waiting-]woman and Chambermaid.

WAITING-WOMAN

[to Wellborn]

Oh, sir, you are wished for.

CHAMBERMAID

[to Wellborn]

My lady dreamt, sir, of you.

WAITING-WOMAN

And the first command she gave after she rose

Was (her devotions done) to give her notice

When you approached here.

CHAMBERMAID

Which is done, on my virtue.

MARALL

[aside]

I shall be converted. I begin to grow

Into a new belief, which saints nor angels

Could have won me to have faith in.

WAITING-WOMAN

Sir, my lady!

Enter Lady [Allworth].

LADY ALLWORTH

I come to meet you, and languished till I saw you.

This first kiss is for form; I allow a second

To such a friend.

[She kisses Wellborn warmly.]

MARALL

[aside]

To such a friend! Heav'n bless me!

WELLBORN

I am wholly yours; yet, madam, if you please

To grace this gentleman with a salute—

MARALL

[aside]

Salute me at his bidding!

WELLBORN

I shall receive it

As a most high favor.

LADY ALLWORTH

Sir, you may command me.

[She offers to kiss Marall, who draws back.]

WELLBORN

Run backward from a lady? And such a lady?

MARALL

To kiss her foot is, to poor me, a favor

I am unworthy of—

[He kneels and] offers to kiss her foot.

LADY ALLWORTH

Nay, pray you, rise,

And, since you are so humble, I'll exalt you.

You shall dine with me today at mine own table.

MARALL

Your Ladyship's table? I am not good enough

To sit at your steward's board.

LADY ALLWORTH

You are too modest.

I will not be denied.

Enter Furnace.

FURNACE

Will you still be babbling

Till your meat freeze on the table? The old trick still;

My art ne'er thought on!

LADY ALLWORTH

Your arm, Master Wellborn.

[To Marall]

Nay, keeps us company.

MARALL

I was never so graced.

Exeunt Wellborn, Lady [Allworth], Amble, Marall, [Waiting-]woman, [and Chambermaid].

ORDER

So, we have played our parts, and are come off well.

But if know the mystery, why my lady

Consented to it, or why Master Wellborn

Desired it, may I perish!

FURNACE

Would I had

The roasting of his heart that cheated him

And forces the poor gentleman to these shifts!

100

By fire (for cooks are Persians, and swear by it),

Of all the griping and extorting tyrants

I ever heard or read of, I ne'er met

A match to Sir Giles Overreach.

WATCHALL

What will you take

To tell him so, fellow Furnace?

FURNACE

Just as much

105

As my throat is worth, for that would be the price on't.

To have a usurer that starves himself,

And wears a cloak of one-and-twenty years

On a suit of fourteen groats, bought of the hangman,

To grow rich, and then purchase, is too common;

110

But this Sir Giles feeds high, keeps many servants,

Who must at his command do any outrage.

Rich in his habit, vast in his expenses,

Yet he to admiration still increases

In wealth and lordships.

ORDER

He frights men out of their estates,

115

And breaks through all law nets made to curb ill men

As they were cobwebs. No man dares reprove him.

Such a spirit to dare and power to do were never

Lodged so unluckily.

Enter Amble.

AMBLE

Ha, ha! I shall burst.

ORDER

Contain thyself, man.

FURNACE

Or make us partakers

120

Of your sudden mirth.

AMBLE

Ha, ha! My lady has got

Such a guest at her table—this term driver, Marrall,

This snip of an attorney!

FURNACE

What of him, man?

AMBLE

The knave thinks still he's at the cook's shop in Ram Alley,

Where the clerks divide, and the elder is to choose;

125

And feeds so slovenly!

FURNACE

Is this all?

AMBLE

My lady

Drank to him for fashion sake, or to please Master Wellborn.

As I live, he rises, and takes up a dish

In which there were some remnants of a boiled capon,

And pledges her in white broth!

FURNACE

Nay, 'tis like

130

The rest of his tribe.

AMBLE

And when I brought him wine,

He leaves his stool, and after a leg or two

Most humbly thanks My Worship.

ORDER

Rose already!

AMBLE

I shall be chid.

Enter Lady [Allworth], Wellborn, [and] Marrall.

FURNACE

[aside]

My lady frowns.

LADY ALLWORTH

[to Amble]

You wait well!

Let me have no more of this. I observed your jeering.

135

Sirrah, I'll have you know, whom I think worthy

To sit at my table, be he ne'er so mean,

When I am present, is not your companion.

ORDER

[aside]

Nay, she'll preserve what's due to her.

FURNACE

[aside to Amble]

This refreshing

Follows your flux of laughter.

LADY ALLWORTH

[To Wellborn.]

You are master

140

Of your own will. I know so much of manners

As not to inquire your purposes. In a word,

To me you are ever welcome as to a house

That is your own.

WELLBORN

[aside to Marall]

Mark that!

MARALL

[aside to Wellborn]

With reverence, sir,

An it like Your Worship.

WELLBORN

Trouble yourself no farther,

145

Dear madam. My heart's full of zeal and service,

However in my language I am sparing.—

Come, Master Marrall.

MARALL

I attend Your Worship.

Exeunt Wellborn [and] Marall.

LADY ALLWORTH

I see in your looks you are sorry, and you know me

An easy mistress. Be merry; I have forgot all.—

150

Order and Furnace, come with me; I must give you

Further directions.

ORDER

What you please.

FURNACE

We are ready.

[Exeunt.]

2.3

[Enter] Wellborn [and] Marall.

WELLBORN

I think I am in a good way.

MARALL

Good sir, the best way,

The certain best way.

WELLBORN

There are casualties

That men are subject to.

MARALL

You are above 'em;

And, as you are already Worshipful,

I hope ere long you will increase in worship

And be Right Worshipful.

WELLBORN

Prithee, do not flout me.

What I shall be, I shall be. Is't for your ease

You keep your hat off?

MARALL

Ease, an it like Your Worship?

I hope Jack Marrall shall not live so long

To prove himself such an unmannerly beast,

Though it hail hazelnuts, as to be covered

When Your Worship's present.

WELLBORN

(aside)

Is not this a true rogue?

That, out of mere hope of a future cos'nage,

Can turn thus suddenly? 'Tis rank already.

MARALL

I know Your Worship's wise, and needs no counsel;

Yet if, in my desire to do you service,

I humbly offer my advice (but still

Under correction), I hope I shall not

Incur your high displeasure.

WELLBORN

No. Speak freely.

MARALL

Then, in my judgment, sir, my simple judgment

(Still with Your Worship's favor), I could wish you

A better habit, for this cannot be

But much distasteful to the noble lady

(I say no more) that loves you; for, this morning

To me (and I am but a swine to her),

Before th'assurance of her wealth perfumed you,

You savored not of amber.

WELLBORN

I do now, then?

[Marall] kisses the end of his [Wellborn's] cudgel.

MARALL

This your baton hath got a touch of it.

Yet, if your please, for change I have twenty pounds here,

Which, out of my true love, I presently

Lay down at Your Worship's feet. 'Twill serve to buy you

A riding suit.

[He offers money.]

WELLBORN

But where's the horse?

MARALL

My gelding

Is at your service; nay, you shall ride me

Before Your Worship shall be put to the trouble

To walk afoot. Alas, when you are lord

Of this lady's manor, as I know you will be,

You may, with the lease of glebe land called Knave's Acre—

A place I would manure—requite your vassal.

WELLBORN

I thank thy love, but must make no use of it.

What's twenty pounds?

MARALL

'Tis all that I can make, sir.

WELLBORN

Dost thou think, though I want clothes I could not have 'em

For one word to my lady?

MARALL

As I know not that!

WELLBORN

Come, I'll tell thee a secret, and so leave thee.

I'll not give her the advantage, though she be

A gallant-minded lady, after we are married

(There being no woman but is sometimes froward)

To hit me in the teeth and say she was forced

To buy my wedding clothes, and took me on

With a plain riding suit and an ambling nag.

No, I'll be furnished something like myself.

And so farewell. For thy suit touching Knave's Acre,

When it is mine, 'tis thine.

MARALL

I thank Your Worship.

Exit Wellborn.

How I was cozened in the calculation

Of this man's fortune! My master cozened too,

Whose pupil I am in the art of undoing men,

For that is our profession. Well, well, Master Wellborn,

You are of a sweet nature, and fit again to be cheated—

Which, if the Fates please, when you are possessed

Of the land and lady, you, sans question, shall be.

I'll presently think of the means.

Walks by, musing.

Enter Overreach.

OVERREACH

[to a servant within]

Sirrah, take my horse.

I'll walk to get me an appetite. 'Tis but a mile,

And exercise will keep me from being pursy.—

Ha! Marrall! Is he conjuring? Perhaps

The knave has wrought the prodigal to do

Some outrage on himself, and now he feels

Compunction in his conscience for't. No matter,

So it be done.—Marrall!

MARALL

Sir?

OVERREACH

How succeed we

In our plot on Wellborn?

MARALL

Never better, sir.

OVERREACH

Has he hanged or drowned himself?

MARALL

No, sir, he lives—

Lives once more to be made a prey to you,

A greater prey than ever.

OVERREACH

Art thou in thy wits?

If thou art, reveal this miracle, and briefly.

MARALL

A lady, sir, is fall'n in love with him.

OVERREACH

With him? What lady?

MARALL

The rich Lady Allworth.

OVERREACH

Thou dolt! How dar'st thou speak this?

MARALL

I speak truth;

And I do so but once a year, unless

It be to you, sir. We dined with Her Ladyship,

I thank His Worship.

OVERREACH

His Worship!

MARALL

As I live, sir,

I dined with him at the great lady's table,

Simple as I stand here, and saw when she kissed him,

And would at his request have kissed me too,

But I was not so audacious as some youths are

And dare do anything, be it ne'er so absurd,

And sad after performance.

OVERREACH

Why, thou rascal,

To tell me these impossibilities!

Dine at her table? And kiss him? Or thee?

Impudent varlet! Have not I myself,

To whom great countesses' doors have oft flew open,

Ten times attempted, since her husband's death,

In vain to see her, though I came—a suitor?

And yet Your good Solicitorship and rogue Wellborn

Were brought into her presence, feasted with her!

But that I know thee a dog, that cannot blush,

This most incredible lie would call up one

On thy buttermilk cheeks.

MARALL

Shall I not trust my eyes, sir?

Or taste? I feel her good cheer in my belly.

OVERREACH

You shall feel me, if you give not over, sirrah.

Recover your brains again, and be no more gulled

With a beggar's plot, assisted by the aids

100

Of servingmen and chambermaids—for beyond these

Thou never saw'st a woman—or I'll quit you

From my employments.

MARALL

Will you credit this yet?

On my confidence of their marriage, I offered Wellborn

(Aside)

I would give a crown now I durst say "His Worship"—

105

My nag and twenty pounds.

OVERREACH

Did you so, idiot?

Strikes him down.

Was this the way to work him to despair,

Or rather to cross me?

MARALL

Will Your Worship kill me?

OVERREACH

No, no; but drive the lying spirit out of you.

MARALL

He's gone.

OVERREACH

I have done, then. Now, forgetting

110

Your late imaginery feast and lady,

Know my Lord Lovell dines with me tomorrow.

Be careful naught be wanting to receive him,

And bid my daughter's women trim her up;

Though they paint her, so she catch the lord, I'll thank 'em.

115

There's a piece for my late blows.

[He gives money.]

MARALL

(aside)

I must yet suffer:

But there may be a time—

OVERREACH

Do you grumble?

MARALL

No, sir.

[Exeunt.]

3.1

[Enter] Lovell, Allworth, [and] servants.

LOVELL

Walk the horses down the hill. Something in private

I must impart to Allworth.

Exeunt servii.

ALLWORTH

O my lord,

What sacrifice of reverence, duty, watching,

Although I could put off the use of sleep

And ever wait on your commands to serve 'em,

What dangers, though in ne'er so horrid shapes,

Nay, death itself, though I should run to meet it,

Can I, and with a thankful willingness, suffer,

But still the retribution will fall short

Of your bounties show'red upon me!

LOVELL

Loving youth,

Till what I purpose be put into act,

Do not o'erprize it. Since you have trusted me

With your soul's nearest—nay, her dearest—secret,

Rest confident 'tis in a cabinet locked

Treachery shall never open. I have found you

(For so much to your face I must profess,

Howe'er you guard your modesty with a blush for't)

More zealous in your love and service to me

Than I have been in my rewards.

ALLWORTH

Still great ones,

Above my merit.

LOVELL

Such your gratitude calls 'em;

Nor am I of that harsh and rugged temper

As some great men are taxed with, who imagine

They part from the respect due to their honors

If they use not all such as follow 'em,

Without distinction of their births, like slaves.

I am not so conditioned. I can make

A fitting difference between my footboy

And a gentleman by want compelled to serve me.

ALLWORTH

'Tis thankfully acknowledged. You have been

More like a father to me than a master.

Pray you, pardon the comparison.

LOVELL

I allow it;

And, to give you assurance I am pleased in't,

My carriage and demeanor to your mistress,

Fair Margaret, shall truly witness for me

I can command my passions.

ALLWORTH

'Tis a conquest

Few lords can boast of when they are tempted.—Oh!

LOVELL

Why do you sigh? Can you be doubtful of me?

By that fair name I in the wars have purchased,

And all my actions hitherto untainted,

I will not be more true to mine own honor

Than to my Allworth.

ALLWORTH

As you are the brave Lord Lovell,

Your bare word only given is an assurance

Of more validity and weight to me

Than all the oaths bound up with imprecations

Which, when they would deceive, most courtiers practice.

Yet, being a man (for, sure, to style you more

Would relish of gross flattery), I am forced,

Against my confidence of your worth and virtues,

To doubt—nay, more—to fear.

LOVELL

So young, and jealous?

ALLWORTH

Were you to encounter with a single foe,

The victory were certain; but to stand

The charge of two such potent enemies,

At once assaulting you, as wealth and beauty,

And those too seconded with power, is odds

Too great for Hercules.

LOVELL

Speak your doubts and fears,

Since you will nourish 'em, in plainer language,

That I may understand 'em.

ALLWORTH

What's your will,

Though I lend arms against myself (provided

They may advantage you) must be obeyed.

My much loved lord, were Margaret only fair,

The cannon of her more than earthly form,

Though mounted high, commanding all beneath it,

And rammed with bullets of her sparkling eyes,

Of all the bulwarks that defend your senses

Could batter none but that which guards your sight.

But when the well-tuned accents of her tongue

Make music to you, and with numerous sounds

Assault your hearing (such as if Ulysses

Now lived again, howe'er he stood the Sirens,

Could not resist), the combat must grow doubtful

Between your reason and rebellious passions.

Add this too; when you feel her touch and breath,

Like a soft western wind when it glides o'er

Arabia creating gums and spices,

And, in the van, the nectar of her lips

Which you must taste, bring the battalia on,

Well armed, and strongly lined with her discourse

And knowing manners, to give entertainment—

Hippolytus himself would leave Diana

To follow such a Venus.

LOVELL

Love hath made you

Poetical, Allworth.

ALLWORTH

Grant all these beat off

(Which, if it be in man to do, you'll do it),

Mammon, in Sir Giles Overreach, steps in

With heaps of ill-got gold, and so much land,

To make her more remarkable, as would tire

A falcon's wings in one day to fly over.

O my good lord, these powerful aids, which would

Make a misshapen Negro beautiful

(Yet are but ornaments to give her lustre

That in herself is all perfection), must

Prevail for her. I here release your trust.

'Tis happiness enough for me to serve you

And sometimes with chaste eyes to look upon her.

LOVELL

Why, shall I swear?

ALLWORTH

Oh, by no means, my lord;

And wrong not so your judgment to the world

As from your fond indulgence to a boy,

Your page, your servant, to refuse a blessing

Divers great men are rivals for.

LOVELL

Suspend

Your judgment till the trial. How far is it

100

T'Overreach's house?

ALLWORTH

At the most, some half hour's riding;

You'll soon be there.

LOVELL

And you the sooner freed

From your jealous fears.

ALLWORTH

Oh, that I durst but hope it!

Exeunt.

3.2

[Enter] Overreach, Greedy, [and] Marall.

OVERREACH

Spare for no cost. Let my dressers crack with the weight

Of curious viands.

GREEDY

Store indeed's no sore, sir.

OVERREACH

That proverb fits your stomach, Master Greedy.

And let no plate be seen but what's pure gold,

Or such whose workmanship exceeds the matter

That it is made of. Let my choicest linen

Perfume the room, and, when we wash, the water,

With precious powders mixed, so please my lord

That he may with envy wish to bathe so ever.

MARALL

'Twill be very chargeable.

OVERREACH

Avaunt, you drudge!

Now all my labored ends are at the stake,

It's a time to think of thrift? Call in my daughter.

[Exit Marall.]

And, Master Justice, since you love choice dishes,

And plenty of 'em—

GREEDY

As I do indeed, sir,

Almost as much as to give thanks for 'em.

OVERREACH

I do confer that providence, with my power

Of absolute command to have abundance,

To your best care.

GREEDY

I'll punctually discharge it

And give the best directions. Now am I

In mine own conceit a monarch, at the least

Archpresident of the boiled, the roast, the baked,

For which I will eat often, and give thanks,

When my belly's braced up like a drum—and that's pure justice.

Exit Greedy.

OVERREACH

It must be so. Should the foolish girl prove modest,

She may spoil all. She had it not from me,

But from her mother. I was ever forward,

As she must be, and therefore I'll prepare her.

[Enter] Margaret.

Alone—and let your women wait without.

MARGARET

Your pleasure, sir?

OVERREACH

Ha, this is a neat dressing!

These orient pearls, and diamonds well placed too!

The gown affects me not; it should have been

Embroidered o'er and o'er with flowers of gold;

But these rich jewels and quaint fashion help it.

And how below? Since oft the wanton eye,

The face observed, descends unto the foot,

Which, being well proportioned, as yours is,

Invites as much as perfect white and red,

Though without art. How like you your new woman,

The Lady Downfall'n?

MARGARET

Well, for a companion;

Not as a servant.

OVERREACH

Is she humble, Meg?

And careful too, her ladyship forgotten?

MARGARET

I pity her fortune.

OVERREACH

Pity her? Trample on her!

I took her up in an old tamin gown,

(Even starved for want of twopenny chops) to serve thee;

And if I understand she but repines

To do thee any duty, though ne'er so servile,

I'll pack her to her knight, where I have lodged him,

Into the Counter, and there let 'em howl together.

MARGARET

You know your own ways; but, for me, I blush

When I command her that was once attended

With persons not inferior to myself

In birth.

OVERREACH

In birth? Why, art thou not my daughter?

The blest child of my industry and wealth?

Why, foolish girl, was't not to make thee great

That I have ran, and still pursue, those ways

That hale down curses on me, which I mind not?

Part with these humble thoughts, and apt thyself

To the noble state I labor to advance thee,

Or, by my hopes to see thee "Honorable,"

I will adopt a stranger to my heir

And throw thee from my care. Do not provoke me.

MARGARET

I will not, sir. Mold me which way you please.

Enter Greedy.

OVERREACH

How! Interrupted?

GREEDY

'Tis matter of importance.

The cook, sir, is self-willed and will not learn

From my experience. There's a fawn brought in, sir,

And, for my life, I cannot make him roast it

With a Norfolk dumpling in the belly of it.

And, sir, we wise men know, without the dumpling

'Tis not worth threepence.

OVERREACH

Would it were whole in thy belly

To stuff it out! Cook it any way. Prithee leave me.

GREEDY

Without order for the dumpling?

OVERREACH

Let it be dumpled

Which way thou wilt, or tell him I will scald him

In his own cauldron.

GREEDY

I had lost my stomach,

Had I lost my Mistress Dumpling I'll give thanks for.

Exit Greedy.

OVERREACH

But to our business, Meg. You have heard who dines here?

MARGARET

I have, sir.

OVERREACH

'Tis an honorable man,

A lord, Meg, and commands a regiment

Of soldiers, and, what's rare, is one himself,

A bold and understanding one; and to be

A lord and a good leader in one volume

Is granted unto few but such as rise up

The kingdom's glory.

Enter Greedy.

GREEDY

I'll resign my office

If I be not better obeyed.

OVERREACH

'Slight, art thou frantic?

GREEDY

Frantic? 'Twould make me a frantic, and stark mad,

Were I not a Justice of Peace, and Coram too,

Which this rebellious cook cares not a straw for.

There are a dozen of woodcocks—

OVERREACH

Make thyself

Thirteen, the baker's dozen.

GREEDY

I am contented,

So they may be dressed to my mind. He has found out

A new device for sauce, and will not dish 'em

With toasts and butter. My father was a tailor,

And my name, though a justice, Greedy Woodcock;

And ere I'll see my lineage so abused,

I'll give up my commission.

OVERREACH

[to the cook within]

Cook! Rogue, obey him!

[To Greedy]

I have given the word; pray you, now remove yourself

To a collar of brawn, and trouble me no farther.

GREEDY

I will, and meditate what to eat at dinner.

Exit Greedy.

OVERREACH

And as I said, Meg, when this gull disturbed us,

This honorable lord, this colonel,

100

I would have thy husband.

MARGARET

There's too much disparity

Between his quality and mine to hope it.

OVERREACH

I more than hope't, and doubt not to effect it.

Be thou no enemy to thyself; my wealth

Shall weigh his titles down, and make you equals.

105

Now for the means to assure him thine. Observe me:

Remember he's a courtier and a soldier

And not to be trifled with, and therefore when

He comes to woo you, see you do not coy it.

This mincing modesty hath spoiled many a match

110

By a first refusal, in vain after hoped for.

MARGARET

You'll have me, sir, preserve the distance that

Confines a virgin?

OVERREACH

Virgin me no virgins!

I must have you lose that name, or you lose me.

I will have you private—start not—I say, private.

115

If thou art my true daughter, not a bastard,

Thou wilt venture alone with one man, though he came

Like Jupiter to Semele, and come off too;

And therefore when he kisses you, kiss close.

MARGARET

I have heard this is the strumpet's fashion, sir,

120

Which I must never learn.

OVERREACH

Learn anything,

And from any creature that may make thee great—

From the devil himself.

MARGARET

This is but devilish doctrine.

OVERREACH

Or if his blood grow hot, suppose he offer

Beyond this, do not you stay till it cool,

125

But meet his ardor; if a couch be near,

Sit down on't, and invite him.

MARGARET

In your house?

Your own house, sir? For heav'n's sake, what are you then?

Or what shall I be, sir?

OVERREACH

Stand not on form.

Words are no substances.

MARGARET

Though you could dispense

130

With your own honor, cast aside religion,

The hopes of heaven or fear of hell, excuse me

In worldly policy, this is not the way

To make me his wife; his whore, I grant it may do.

My maiden honor so soon yielded up,

135

Nay, prostituted, cannot but assure him

I that am light to him will not hold weight

When he is tempted by others; so, in judgment,

When to his lust I have given up my honor,

He must and will forsake me.

OVERREACH

How? Forsake thee?

140

Do I wear a sword for fashion? Or is this arm

Shrunk up? Or withered? Does there live a man

Of that large list I have encountered with

Can truly say I e'er gave inch of ground

Not purchased with his blood that did oppose me?

145

Forsake thee when the thing is done? He dares not.

Give me but proof he has enjoyed thy person,

Though all his captains, echoes to his will,

Stood armed by his side to justify the wrong,

And he himself in the head of his bold troop,

150

Spite of his lordship and his colonelship,

Or the judge's favor, I will make him render

A bloody and a strict account, and force him,

By marrying thee, to cure thy wounded honor.

I have said it.

Enter Marall.

MARALL

Sir, the man of honor's come

155

Newly alighted.

OVERREACH

[to Margaret]

In, without reply,

And do as I command, or thou art lost.

Exit Margaret.

Is the loud music I gave order for

Ready to receive him?

MARALL

'Tis, sir.

OVERREACH

Let 'em sound

A princely welcome.

[Exit Marall.]

[To himself]

Roughness, awhile leave me,

160

For fawning now—a stranger to my nature—

Must make way for me.

Loud music.

Enter Lovell, Greedy, Allworth, [and] Marall.

LOVELL

Sir, you meet your trouble.

OVERREACH

What you are pleased to style so is an honor

Above my worth and fortunes.

ALLWORTH

[aside]

Strange. So humble!

OVERREACH

A justice of peace, my lord.

Presents Greedy to him.

LOVELL

[to Greedy]

Your hand, good sir.

GREEDY

165

[aside]

This is a lord, and some think this a favor;

But I had rather have my hand in my dumpling.

OVERREACH

Room for my lord!

LOVELL

I miss, sir, your fair daughter

To crown my welcome.

OVERREACH

May it please my lord

To taste a glass of Greek wine first, and suddenly

170

She shall attend my lord.

LOVELL

You'll be obeyed, sir.

Exeunt omnes praeter Overreach.

OVERREACH

'Tis to my wish. As soon as come, ask for her!—

[Calling]

Why, Meg! Meg Overreach!

[Enter Margaret.]

How! Tears in your eyes?

Ha! Dry 'em quickly, or I'll dig 'em out.

Is this a time to whimper? Meet that greatness

175

That flies into thy bosom! Think what 'tis

For me to say, "My honorable daughter,"

And thou, when I stand bare, to say "Put on,"

Or, "Father, you forget yourself." No more,

But be instructed, or expect—He comes!

Enter Lovell, Greedy, Allworth, [and] Marall. They salute.

180

A black-browed girl, my lord,

LOVELL

[kissing Margaret]

As I live, a rare one.

ALLWORTH

[aside.]

He's took already! I am lost.

OVERREACH

[aside.]

That kiss

Came twanging off; I like it.

[To the others]

Quit the room!

The rest [Greedy, Allworth, and Marall, go] off.

A little bashful, my good lord, but you,

I hope, will teach her boldness.

LOVELL

I am happy

185

In such a scholar, but—

OVERREACH

I am past learning,

And therefore leave you to yourselves.

(To his daughter)

Remember!

Exit Overreach.

LOVELL

You see, fair lady, your father is solicitous

To have you change the barren name of virgin

Into a hopeful wife.

MARGARET

His haste, my lord,

190

Holds no power o'er my will.

LOVELL

But o'er your duty.

MARGARET

Which, forced too much, may break.

LOVELL

Bend rather, sweetest.

Think of your years.

MARGARET

Too few to match with yours;

And choicest fruits, too soon plucked, rot and wither.

LOVELL

Do you think I am old?

MARGARET

I am sure I am too young.

LOVELL

195

I can advance you.

MARGARET

To a hill of sorrow,

Where every hour I may expect to fall,

But never hope firm footing. You are noble,

I of a low descent, however rich;

And tissues matched with scarlet suit but ill.

200

O my good lord, I could say more, but that

I dare not trust these walls.

LOVELL

Pray you, trust my ear, then.

[They whisper.]

Enter Overreach, listening.

OVERREACH

Close at it! Whispering! This is excellent!

And, by their postures, a consent on both parts.

Enter Greedy. [He and Overreach converse, unnoticed at first by Lovell and Margaret.]

GREEDY

Sir Giles, Sir Giles!

OVERREACH

The great fiend stop that clapper!

GREEDY

205

It must ring out, sir, when my belly rings noon.

The baked meats are run out, the roasts turned powder.

OVERREACH

I shall powder you.

GREEDY

Beat me to dust, I care not;

In such a cause as this, I'll die a martyr.

OVERREACH

Marry, and shall, you barathrum of the shambles!

Strikes him.

GREEDY

210

How! Strike a justice of peace? 'Tis petty treason,

Edwardi quinto. But that you are my friend,

I could commit you without bail or mainprize.

OVERREACH

Leave your bawling, sir, or I shall commit you

Where you shall not dine today. Disturb my lord

215

When he is in discourse?

GREEDY

Is't a time to talk

When we should be munching?

LOVELL

[hearing something]

Ha! I heard some noise.

OVERREACH

[privately to Greedy]

Mum, villain, vanish! Shall we break a bargain

Almost made up?

Thrust Greedy off [exiting with him].

LOVELL

Lady, I understand you,

And rest most happy in your choice, believe it;

220

I'll be a careful pilot to direct

Your yet uncertain bark to a port of safety.

MARGARET

So shall Your Honor save two lives, and bind us

Your slaves forever.

LOVELL

I am in the act rewarded,

Since it is good; howe'er, you must put on

225

An amorous carriage towards me to delude

Your subtle father.

MARGARET

I am prone to that.

LOVELL

Now break we off our conference.—Sir Giles!

Where is Sir Giles?

Enter Overreach and the rest [Greedy, Marall, and Allworth].

OVERREACH

My noble lord! And how

Does Your Lordship find her?

LOVELL

Apt, Sir Giles, and coming,

230

And I like her the better.

OVERREACH

So do I too.

LOVELL

Yet, should we take forts at the first assault,

'Twere poor in the defendant. I must confirm her

With a love letter or two, which I must have

Delivered by my page, and you give way to't.

OVERREACH

235

With all my soul! A towardly gentleman.—

Your hand, good Master Allworth. Know my house

Is ever open to you.

ALLWORTH

(aside)

'Twas shut till now.

OVERREACH

Well done, well done, my honorable daughter!

Thou'rt so already. Know this gentle youth,

240

And cherish him, my honorable daughter.

MARGARET

I shall, with my best care.

Noise within as of a coach.

OVERREACH

A coach!

GREEDY

More stops

Before we go to dinner! Oh, my guts!

Enter Lady [Allworth] and Wellborn.

LADY ALLWORTH

[privately to Wellborn]

If I find welcome,

You share in it; if not, I'll back again,

Now I know your ends, for I come armed for all

245

Can be objected.

LOVELL

How! The Lady Allworth!

OVERREACH

And thus attended!

Lovell salutes the Lady [Allworth]; the Lady salutes Margaret.

MARALL

[aside to Overreach]

No, I am a dolt!

The spirit of lies had ent'red me!

OVERREACH

[aside to Marall]

Peace, patch!

'Tis more than wonder! An astonishment

That does possess me wholly!

LOVELL

Noble lady,

250

This is a favor, to prevent my visit,

The service of my life can never equal.

LADY ALLWORTH

My lord, I laid wait for you, and much hoped

You would have made my poor house your first inn;

And therefore doubting that you might forget me,

255

Or too long dwell here, having such ample cause

In this unequalled beauty for your stay,

And fearing to trust any but myself

With the relation of my service to you,

I borrowed so much from my long restraint

260

And took the air in person to invite you.

LOVELL

Your bounties are so great they rob me, madam,

Of words to give you thanks.

LADY ALLWORTH

Good Sir Giles Overreach!

Salutes him.

How dost thou, Marrall?

[To Greedy]

Liked you my meat so ill

You'll dine no more with me?

GREEDY

I will, when you please,

265

And it like Your Ladyship.

LADY ALLWORTH

When you please, Master Greedy;

If meat can do it, you shall be satisfied.—

And now, my lord, pray take into your knowledge

This gentleman.

(Presents Wellborn.)

Howe'er his outside's coarse,

His inward linings are as fine and fair

270

As any man's. Wonder not I speak at large.

And howsoe'er his humor carries him

To be thus accoutred, or what taint soever

For his wild life hath stuck upon his fame,

He may, ere long, with boldness rank himself

275

With some that have contemned him.—Sir Giles Overreach,

If I am welcome, bid him so.

OVERREACH

My nephew!

He has been too long a stranger.

[To Wellborn]

Faith, you have;

Pray, let it be mended.

Lovell conferring [privately] with Wellborn.

MARALL

[aside to Overreach]

Why, sir, what do you mean?

This is rogue Wellborn, monster, prodigy,

280

That should hang or drown himself, no man of worship,

Much less your nephew.

OVERREACH

[aside to Marall]

Well, sirrah, we shall reckon

For this hereafter.

MARALL

[aside]

I'll not lose my jeer,

Though I be beaten dead for't.

WELLBORN

[privately to Lovell]

Let my silence plead

In my excuse, my lord, till better leisure

285

Offer itself to hear a full relation

Of my poor fortunes.

LOVELL

[privately to Wellborn]

I would hear, and help 'em.

OVERREACH

[aloud]

Your dinner waits you.

LOVELL

Pray you lead; we follow.

LADY ALLWORTH

[to Wellborn, as he hesitates]

Nay, you are my guest. Come, dear Master Wellborn.

Exeunt. Manet Greedy.

GREEDY

"Dear Master Wellborn"! So she said. Heav'n! Heav'n!

290

If my belly would give me leave, I could ruminate

All day on this. I have granted twenty warrants

To have him committed, from all prisons in the shire

To Nottingham jail; and now "Dear Master Wellborn"!

And "My good nephew"! But I play the fool

295

To stand here prating, and forget my dinner.

Enter Marall.

Are they set, Marrall?

MARALL

Long since. Pray you a word, sir.

GREEDY

No wording now.

MARALL

In troth, I must. My master,

Knowing you are his good friend, makes bold with you

And does entreat you, more guests being come in

300

Than he expected, especially his nephew,

The table being full too, you would excuse him

And sup with him on the cold meat.

GREEDY

How! No dinner,

After all my care?

MARALL

'Tis but a penance for

A meal. Besides, you broke your fast.

GREEDY

That was

305

But a bit to stay my stomach. A man in commission

Give place to a tatterdemalion?

MARALL

No bug-words, sir.

Should His Worship hear you—

GREEDY

Lose my dumpling too?

And buttered toasts, and woodcocks?

MARALL

Come, have patience.

If you will dispense a little with your worship,

310

And sit with the waiting-women, you have dumpling,

Woodcock, and buttered toasts too.

GREEDY

This revives me.

I will gorge there sufficiently.

MARALL

This is the way, sir.

Exeunt.

3.3

[Enter] Overreach as from dinner.

OVERREACH

She's caught! Oh, women! She neglects my lord,

And all her compliments applied to Wellborn!

The garments of her widowhood laid by,

She now appears as glorious as the spring.

Her eyes fixed on him, in the wine she drinks,

He being her pledge, she sends him burning kisses,

And sits on thorns till she be private with him.

She leaves my meat to feed upon his looks,

And, if in our discourse he be but named,

From her a deep sigh follows. But why grieve I

At this? It makes for me; if she prove his,

All that is hers is mine, as I will work him.

Enter Marall.

MARALL

Sir, the whole board is troubled at your rising.

OVERREACH

No matter; I'll excuse it. Prithee, Marrall,

Watch an occasion to invite my nephew

To speak with me in private.

MARALL

Who! The rogue

The lady scorned to look on?

OVERREACH

You are a wag.

Enter Lady [Allworth] and Wellborn.

MARALL

[privately to Overreach]

See, sir, she's come, and cannot be without him.

LADY ALLWORTH

[to Overreach]

With your favor, sir, after a plenteous dinner,

I shall make bold to walk a turn or two

In your rare garden.

OVERREACH

There's an arbor too,

If Your Ladyship please to use it.

LADY ALLWORTH

Come, Master Wellborn.

Exeunt Lady [Allworth] and Wellborn.

OVERREACH

Grosser and grosser! Now I believe the poet

Feigned not, but was historical, when he wrote

Pasiphaë was enamored of a bull.

This lady's lust's more monstrous.—

Enter Lovell, Margaret, and the rest [including Allworth, Greedy, and servants].

My good lord,

Excuse my manners.

LOVELL

There needs none, Sir Giles—

I may ere long say "father," when it pleases

My dearest mistress to give warrant to it.

OVERREACH

She shall seal to it, my lord, and make me happy.

MARGARET

My lady is returned.

Enter Wellborn and the Lady [Allworth].

LADY ALLWORTH

[to servants]

Provide my coach;

I'll instantly away.—My thanks, Sir Giles,

[Exeunt servants.]

For my entertainment.

OVERREACH

'Tis your nobleness

To think it such.

LADY ALLWORTH

I must do you a further wrong

In taking away your honorable guest.

LOVELL

I wait on you, madam.—Farewell, good Sir Giles.

LADY ALLWORTH

Good Mistress Margaret!—Nay, come, Master Wellborn,

I must not leave you behind; in sooth, I must not.

OVERREACH

Rob me not, madam, of all joys at once.

Let my nephew stay behind; he shall have my coach,

And, after some small conference between us,

Soon overtake Your Ladyship.

LADY ALLWORTH

[to Wellborn]

Stay not long, sir.

LOVELL

[kissing Margaret]

This parting kiss. You shall every day hear from me

By my faithful page.

ALLWORTH

'Tis a service I am proud of.

Exeunt Lovell, Lady Allworth, Marall [and all the others except Overreach and Wellborn].

OVERREACH

Daughter, to your chamber.

[Exit] Margaret.

You may wonder, nephew,

After so long an enmity between us,

I should desire your friendship.

WELLBORN

So I do, sir.

'Tis strange to me.

OVERREACH

But I'll make it no wonder,

And, what is more, unfold my nature to you.

We worldly men, when we see friends and kinsmen

Past hope sunk in their fortunes, lend no hand

To lift 'em up, but rather set our feet

Upon their heads to press 'em to the bottom—

As, I must yield, with you I practised it.

But, now I see you in a way to rise,

I can and will assist you. This rich lady

(And I am glad of 't) is enamored of you;

'Tis too apparent, nephew.

WELLBORN

No such thing;

Compassion rather, sir.

OVERREACH

Well, in a word,

Because your stay is short, I'll have you seen

No more in this base shape; nor shall she say

She married you like a beggar, or in debt.

WELLBORN

(aside)

He'll run into the noose and save my labor.

OVERREACH

You have a trunk of rich clothes, not far hence,

In pawn; I will redeem 'em. And, that no clamor

May taint your credit for your petty debts,

You shall have a thousand pounds to cut 'em off,

And go a free man to the wealthy lady.

WELLBORN

This done, sir, out of love, and no ends else—

OVERREACH

As it is, nephew.

WELLBORN

Binds me still your servant.

OVERREACH

No compliments; you are stayed for. Ere you've supped

You shall hear from me.—My coach, knaves, for my nephew!—

Tomorrow I will visit you.

WELLBORN

Here's an uncle

In a man's extremes! How much they do belie you

That say you are hard-hearted!

OVERREACH

My deeds, nephew,

Shall speak my love; what men report I weigh not.

Exeunt.

4.1

[Enter] Lovell [and] Allworth.

LOVELL

'Tis well; give me my cloak. I now discharge you

From further service. Mind your own affairs;

I hope they will prove successful.

ALLWORTH

What is blest

With your good wish, my lord, cannot but prosper.

Let aftertimes report, and to your honor,

How much I stand engaged, for I want language

To speak my debt. Yet if a tear or two

Of joy for your much goodness can supply

My tongue's defects, I could—

LOVELL

Nay, do not melt.

This ceremonial thanks to me's superfluous.

OVERREACH

(within)

Is my lord stirring?

LOVELL

'Tis he. Oh, here's your letter.

[He gives Allworth a letter.]

Let him in.

Enter Overreach, Greedy, [and] Marall.

OVERREACH

A good day to my lord!

LOVELL

You are an early riser,

Sir Giles.

OVERREACH

And reason: to attend Your Lordship.

LOVELL

And you too, Master Greedy, up so soon?

GREEDY

In troth, my lord, after the sun is up

I cannot sleep, for I have a foolish stomach

That croaks for breakfast. With Your Lordship's favor,

I have a serious question to demand

Of my worthy friend Sir Giles.

LOVELL

Pray you use your pleasure.

GREEDY

How far, Sir Giles—and pray you, answer me

Upon your credit—hold you it to be

From your manor house to this of my Lady Allworth's?

OVERREACH

Why, some four mile.

GREEDY

How! Four mile? Good Sir Giles,

Upon your reputation, think better,

For, if you do abate but one half-quarter

Of five, you do yourself the greatest wrong

That can be in the world; for four miles riding

Could not have raised so huge an appetite

As I feel gnawing on me.

MARALL

Whether you ride

Or go afoot, you are that way still provided,

An it please Your Worship.

OVERREACH

How now, sirrah? Prating

Before my lord? No difference? Go to my nephew;

See all his debts discharged, and help His Worship

To fit on his rich suit.

MARALL

[aside]

I may fit you too;

Tossed like a dog still!

Exit Marall.

LOVELL

I have writ this morning

A few lines to my mistress, your fair daughter.

OVERREACH

'Twill fire her, for she's wholly yours already.—

[Giving a ring]

Sweet Master Allworth, take my ring—'twill carry you

To her presence, I dare warrant you—and there plead

For my good lord, if you shall find occasion.

That done, pray ride to Nottingham; get a license,

Still by this token.—I'll have it dispatched,

And suddenly, my lord, that I may say

My "Honorable," nay, "Right Honorable" daughter.

GREEDY

[to Allworth]

Take my advice, young gentleman; get your breakfast.

'Tis unwholesome to ride fasting. I'll eat with you,

And eat to purpose.

OVERREACH

Some Fury's in that gut!

Hungry again! Did you not devour this morning

A shield of brawn and a barrel of Colchester oysters?

GREEDY

Why that was, sir, only to scour my stomach—

A kind of a preparative.

[To Allworth]

Come, gentleman,

I will not have you feed like the hangman of Flushing,

Alone, while I am here.

LOVELL

[to Allworth]

Haste your return.

ALLWORTH

I will not fail, my lord.

GREEDY

Nor I, to line

My Christmas coffer.

Exeunt Greedy and Allworth.

OVERREACH

To my wish, we are private.

I come not to make offer with my daughter

A certain portion; that were poor and trivial.

In one word, I pronounce all that is mine,

In lands or leases, ready coin or goods,

With her, my lord, comes to you; nor shall you have

One motive to induce you to believe

I live too long, since every year I'll add

Something unto the heap which shall be yours too.

LOVELL

You are a right kind father.

OVERREACH

You shall have reason

To think me such. How do you like this seat?

It is well wooded and well watered, the acres

Fertile and rich. Would it not serve for change

To entertain your friends in a summer progress?

What thinks my noble lord?

LOVELL

'Tis a wholesome air,

And well-built pile, and she that's mistress of it

Worthy the large revenue.

OVERREACH

She the mistress?

It may be so for a time; but let my lord

Say only that he likes it and would have it,

I say, ere long 'tis his.

LOVELL

Impossible.

OVERREACH

You do conclude too fast, not knowing me,

Nor the engines that I work by. 'Tis not alone

The Lady Allworth's lands, for those once Wellborn's

(As, by her dotage on him, I know they will be)

Shall soon be mine; but point out any man's

In all the shire, and say they lie convenient

And useful for Your Lordship, and once more

I say aloud, they are yours.

LOVELL

I dare not own

What's by unjust and cruel means extorted;

My fame and credit are more dear to me

Than so to expose 'em to be censured by

The public voice.

OVERREACH

You run, my lord, no hazard.

Your reputation shall stand as fair

In all good men's opinions as now;

Nor can my actions, though condemned for ill,

Cast any foul aspersion upon yours.

For, though I do contemn report myself

As a mere sound, I still will be so tender

Of what concerns you in all points of honor

That the immaculate whiteness of your fame

Nor your unquestioned integrity

Shall e'er be sullied with one taint or spot

That may take from your innocence and candor.

All my ambition is to have my daughter

Right Honorable, which my lord can make her.

100

And, might I live to dance upon my knee

A young Lord Lovell, born by her unto you,

I write nil ultra to my proudest hopes.

As for possessions and annual rents

Equivalent to maintain you in the port

105

Your noble birth and present state requires,

I do remove that burthen from your shoulders

And take it on mine own; for, though I ruin

The country to supply your riotous waste,

The scourge of prodigals—want—shall never find you.

LOVELL

110

Are you not frighted with the imprecations

And curses of whole families made wretched

By your sinister practices?

OVERREACH

Yes, as rocks are

When foamy billows split themselves against

Their flinty ribs, or as the moon is moved

115

When wolves, with hunger pined, howl at her brightness.

I am of a solid temper, and, like these,

Steer on a constant course. With mine own sword,

If called into the field, I can make that right

Which fearful enemies murmured at as wrong.

120

Now, for these other piddling complaints

Breathed out in bitterness, as when they call me

Extortioner, tyrant, cormorant, or intruder

On my poor neighbor's right, or grand encloser

Of what was common to my private use;

125

Nay, when my ears are pierced with widows' cries,

And undone orphans wash with tears my threshold:

I only think what 'tis to have my daughter

Right Honorable, and 'tis a powerful charm

Makes me insensible of remorse, or pity,

130

Or the least sting of conscience.

LOVELL

I admire

The toughness of your nature.

OVERREACH

'Tis for you,

My lord, and for my daughter, I am marble.

Nay, more: if you will have my character

In little, I enjoy more true delight

135

In my arrival to my wealth these dark

And crooked ways than you shall e'er take pleasure

In spending what my industry hath compassed.

My haste commands me hence. In one word therefore:

Is it a match?

LOVELL

I hope that is past doubt now.

OVERREACH

140

Then rest secure. Not the hate of all mankind here,

Nor fear of what can fall on me hereafter,

Shall make me study aught but your advancement

One story higher. An earl, if gold can do it!

Dispute not my religion nor my faith.

145

Though I am borne thus headlong by my will,

You may make choice of what belief you please;

To me they are equal. So, my lord, good morrow.

Exit.

LOVELL

He's gone. I wonder how the earth can bear

Such a portent! I, that have lived a soldier,

150

And stood the enemy's violent charge undaunted,

To hear this blasphemous beast am bathed all over

In a cold sweat. Yet, like a mountain, he,

Confirmed in atheistical assertions,

Is no more shaken than Olympus is

155

When angry Boreas loads his double head

With sudden drifts of snow.

Enter Amble, Lady [Allworth, and Waiting-]woman.

LADY ALLWORTH

Save you, my lord!

Disturb I not your privacy?

LOVELL

No, good madam.

For your own sake I am glad you came no sooner,

Since this bold, bad man, Sir Giles Overreach,

160

Made such a plain discovery of himself,

And read this morning such a devilish matins

That I should think it a sin next to his

But to repeat it.

LADY ALLWORTH

I ne'er pressed, my lord,

On others' privacies; yet, against my will,

165

Walking for health sake in the gallery

Adjoining to your lodgings, I was made

(So vehement and loud he was) partaker

Of his tempting offers.

LOVELL

Please you to command

Your servants hence, and I shall gladly hear

170

Your wiser counsel.

LADY ALLWORTH

'Tis, my lord, a woman's,

But true and hearty.

[To her servants]

Wait in the next room,

But be within call, yet not so near to force me

To whisper my intents.

AMBLE

We are taught better

By you, good madam.

WAITING-WOMAN

And well know our distance.

LADY ALLWORTH

175

Do so, and talk not; 'twill become your breeding.

Exeunt Amble and [Waiting-]woman.

Now, my good lord—if I may use my freedom

As to an honored friend?

LOVELL

You lessen else

Your favor to me.

LADY ALLWORTH

I dare then say thus:

As you are noble, howe'er common men

180

Make sordid wealth the object and sole end

Of their industrious aims, 'twill not agree

With those of eminent blood, who are engaged

More to prefer their honors than to increase

The state left to 'em by their ancestors,

185

To study large additions to their fortunes

And quite neglect their births; though I must grant

Riches well got to be a useful servant,

But a bad master.

LOVELL

Madam, 'tis confessed.

But what infer you from it?

LADY ALLWORTH

This, my lord:

190

That as all wrongs, though thrust into one scale,

Slide of themselves off when right fills the other,

And cannot bide the trial, so all wealth

(I mean if ill acquired), cemented to honor

By virtuous ways achieved and bravely purchased,

195

Is but as rubbage poured into a river

(Howe'er intended to make good the bank),

Rend'ring the water that was pure before

Polluted and unwholesome. I allow

The heir of Sir Giles Overreach, Margaret,

200

A maid well qualified, and the richest match

Our north part can make boast of; yet she cannot,

With all that she brings with her, fill their mouths

That never will forget who was her father,

Or that my husband Allworth's lands and Wellborn's

205

(How wrung from both needs now no repetition)

Were real motives that more worked Your Lordship

To join your families than her form and virtues.

You may conceive the rest.

LOVELL

I do, sweet madam,

And long since have considered it. I know,

210

The sum of all that makes a just man happy

Consists in the well choosing of his wife;

And there, well to discharge it, does require

Equality of years, of birth, of fortune.

For beauty, being poor and not cried up

215

By birth or wealth, can truly mix with neither;

And wealth, where there's such difference in years

And fair descent, must make the yoke uneasy.

But I come nearer.

LADY ALLWORTH

Pray you do, my lord.

LOVELL

Were Overreach' states thrice centupled, his daughter

220

Millions of degrees much fairer than she is,

Howe'er I might urge precedents to excuse me,

I would not so adulterate my blood

By marrying Margaret, and so leave my issue

Made up of several pieces, one part scarlet

225

And the other London blue. In my own tomb

I will inter my name first.

LADY ALLWORTH

(aside)

I am glad to hear this.

[Aloud]

Why then, my lord, pretend your marriage to her?

Dissimulation but ties false knots

On that straight line by which you hitherto

230

Have measured all your actions.

LOVELL

I make answer,

And aptly, with a question. Wherefore have you,

That since your husband's death have lived a strict

And chaste nun's life, on the sudden giv'n yourself

To visits and entertainments? Think you, madam,

235

'Tis not grown public conference? Or the favors

Which you too prodigally have thrown on Wellborn,

Being too reserved before, incur not censure?

LADY ALLWORTH

I am innocent here, and on my life I swear

My ends are good.

LOVELL

On my soul, so are mine

240

To Margaret; but leave both to the event.

And since this friendly privacy does serve

But as an offered means unto ourselves

To search each other farther—you having shown

Your care of me, I my respect to you—

245

Deny me not, but still in chaste words, madam,

An afternoon's discourse.

LADY ALLWORTH

So I shall hear you.

[Exeunt.]

4.2

[Enter] Tapwell [and] Froth.

TAPWELL

Undone, undone! This was your counsel, Froth.

FROTH

Mine! I defy thee. Did not Master Marrall

(He has marred all, I am sure) strictly command us,

On pain of Sir Giles Overreach' displeasure,

To turn the gentleman out of doors?

TAPWELL

'Tis true.

But now he's his uncle's darling, and has got

Master Justice Greedy (since he filled his belly)

At his commandment to do anything.

Woe, woe to us!

FROTH

He may prove merciful.

TAPWELL

Troth, we do not deserve it at his hands.

Though he knew all the passages of our house,

As the receiving of stol'n goods, and bawdry,

When he was rogue Wellborn no man would believe him,

And then his information could not hurt us;

But, now he is "Right Worshipful" again,

Who dares but doubt his testimony? Methinks

I see thee, Froth, already in a cart,

For a close bawd, thine eyes e'en pelted out

With dirt and rotten eggs, and my hand hissing

(If I scape the halter) with the letter R

Printed upon it.

FROTH

Would that were the worst!

That were but nine days' wonder, as for credit,

We have none to lose; but we shall lose the money

He owes us, and his custom—there's the hell on't.

TAPWELL

He has summoned all his creditors by the drum,

And they swarm about him like so many soldiers

On the payday, and has found out such a new way

To pay his old debts as 'tis very likely

He shall be chronicled for it.

FROTH

He deserves it,

More than ten pageants. But are you sure His Worship

Comes this way to my lady's?

A cry within: "Brave Master Wellborn!"

TAPWELL

Yes, I hear him.

FROTH

Be ready with your petition and present it

To His good Grace.

Enter Wellborn in a rich habit, [Marall,] Greedy, Order, Furnace, [and] three Creditors. Tapwell, kneeling, delivers his bill of debt.

WELLBORN

How's this! Petitioned too?

But note what miracles the payment of

A little trash and a rich suit of clothes

Can work upon these rascals! I shall be,

I think, Prince Wellborn.

MARALL

When Your Worship's married,

You may be—I know what I hope to see you.

WELLBORN

Then look thou for advancement.

MARALL

To be known

Your Worship's bailiff is the mark I shoot at.

WELLBORN

And thou shalt hit it.

MARALL

Pray you, sir, dispatch

These needy followers, and, for my admittance,

Provided you'll defend me from Sir Giles,

Whose service I am weary of, I'll say something

You shall give thanks for.

WELLBORN

Fear me not Sir Giles.

This interim, Tapwell and Froth flattering and bribing Justice Greedy.

GREEDY

Who? Tapwell? I remember thy wife brought me,

Last New Year's tide, a couple of fat turkeys.

TAPWELL

And shall do every Christmas, let Your Worship

But stand my friend now.

GREEDY

How? With Master Wellborn?

I can do anything with him, on such terms.—

[To Wellborn]

See you this honest couple? They are good souls

As ever drew out faucet. Have they not

A pair of honest faces?

WELLBORN

I o'erheard you,

And the bribe he promised. You are cozened in 'em,

For of all the scum that grew rich by my riots,

This for a most unthankful knave and this

For a base bawd and whore have worst deserved me,

And therefore speak not for 'em. By your place

You are rather to do me justice. Lend me your ear.

[aside to him]

Forget his turkeys, and call in his license,

And at the next fair I'll give you a yoke of oxen

Worth all his poultry.

GREEDY

I am changed on the sudden

In my opinion.

[To Tapwell]

Come near. Nearer, rascal!

[To Wellborn]

And, now I view him better, did you e'er see

One look so like an arch-knave? His very countenance,

Should an understanding judge but look upon him,

Would hang him, though he were innocent.

TAPWELL [and] FROTH

Worshipful sir!

GREEDY

No, though the great Turk came, instead of turkeys,

To beg any favor, I am inexorable.

Thou hast an ill name. Besides thy musty ale,

That hath destroyed many of the King's liege people,

Thou never hadst in thy house, to stay mens' stomachs,

A piece of Suffolk cheese, or gammon of bacon,

Or any esculent, as the learnèd call it,

For their emolument, but sheer drink only.

For which gross fault, I here do damn thy license,

Forbidding thee ever to tap or draw;

For instantly I will, in mine own person,

Command the constable to pull down thy sign,

And do it before I eat.

FROTH

No mercy?

GREEDY

Vanish!

If I show any, may my promised oxen gore me!

TAPWELL

Unthankful knaves are ever so rewarded.

Exeunt Greedy, Tapwell, [and] Froth.

WELLBORN

[to the First Creditor]

Speak; what are you?

FIRST CREDITOR

A decayed vintner, sir,

That might have thrived, but that Your Worship broke me

With trusting you with muscadine and eggs,

And five-pound suppers, with your after-drinkings,

When you lodged upon the Bankside.

WELLBORN

I remember.

FIRST CREDITOR

I have not been hasty, nor e'er laid to arrest you;

And therefore, sir—

WELLBORN

Thou art an honest fellow.

I'll set thee up again.

[To Order]

See his bill paid.—

What are you?

SECOND CREDITOR

A tailor once, but now mere botcher.

I gave you credit for a suit of clothes,

Which was all my stock, but, you failing in payment,

I was removed from the shop board, and confined

Under a stall.

WELLBORN

[to Order]

See him paid.—And botch no more.

SECOND CREDITOR

I ask no interest, sir.

WELLBORN

Such tailors need not;

If their bills are paid in one-and-twenty year,

They are seldom losers.

[To Third Creditor]

Oh, I know thy face;

Thou wert my surgeon. You must tell no tales;

100

Those days are done. I will pay you in private.

ORDER

[to Furnace]

A royal gentleman!

FURNACE

[to Order]

Royal as an emperor!

He'll prove a brave master. My good lady knew

To choose a man.

WELLBORN

[to Order]

See all men else discharged;

And since old debts are cleared by a new way,

105

A little bounty will not misbecome me.

[Giving money to Furnace]

There's something, honest cook, for thy good breakfasts,

[Giving money to Order]

And this for your respect. Take't; 'tis good gold,

And I able to spare it.

ORDER

You are too munificent.

FURNACE

[to the others]

He was ever so.

WELLBORN

Pray you, on before.

THIRD CREDITOR

Heaven bless you!

MARALL

110

At four o'clock the rest know where to meet me.

Exeunt Order, Furnace, [and] Creditors.

WELLBORN

Now, Master Marrall, what's the weighty secret

You promised to impart?

MARALL

Sir, time nor place

Allow me to relate each circumstance.

This only in a word: I know Sir Giles

115

Will come upon you for security

For his thousand pounds, which you must not consent to.

As he grows in heat—as I am sure he will—

Be you but rough and say he's in your debt

Ten times the sum, upon sale of your land.

120

I had a hand in't (I speak it to my shame)

When you were defeated of it.

WELLBORN

That's forgiven.

MARALL

I shall deserve 't, then. Urge him to produce

The deed in which you passed it over to him—

Which I know he'll have about him—to deliver

125

To the Lord Lovell, with many other writings

And present moneys. I'll instruct you further,

As I wait on Your Worship. If I play not my prize

To your full content and your uncle's much vexation,

Hang up Jack Marrall.

WELLBORN

I rely upon thee.

Exeunt.

4.3

[Enter] Allworth [and] Margaret.

ALLWORTH

Whether to yield the first praise to my lord's

Unequalled temperance or your constant sweetness,

That I yet live, my weak hands fastened on

Hope's anchor, spite of all storms of despair,

I yet rest doubtful.

MARGARET

Give it to Lord Lovell,

For what in him was bounty in me's duty.

I make but payment of a debt to which

My vows, in that high office registered,

Are faithful witnesses.

ALLWORTH

'Tis true, my dearest.

Yet, when I call to mind how many fair ones

Make willful shipwreck of their faiths and oaths

To God and man to fill the arms of greatness,

And you rise up no less than a glorious star,

To the amazement of the world, that hold out

Against the stern authority of a father

And spurn at honor when it comes to court you,

I am so tender of your good that, faintly,

With your wrong I can wish myself that right

You yet are pleased to do me.

MARGARET

Yet, and ever.

To me what's title, when content is wanting?

Or wealth, raked up together with much care

And to be kept with more, when the heart pines

In being dispossessed of what it longs for,

Beyond the Indian mines? Or the smooth brow

Of a pleased sire, that slaves me to his will,

And—so his ravenous humor may be feasted

By my obedience, and he see me great—

Leaves to my soul nor faculties nor power

To make her own election?

ALLWORTH

But the dangers

That follow the repulse—

MARGARET

To me they are nothing.

Let Allworth love, I cannot be unhappy.

Suppose the worst, that in his rage he kill me;

A tear or two by you dropped on my hearse

In sorrow for my fate will call back life

So far as but to say that I die yours,

I then shall rest in peace. Or should he prove

So cruel as one death would not suffice

His thirst of vengeance, but with ling'ring torments

In mind and body I must waste to air

In poverty joined with banishment, so you share

In my afflictions (which I dare not wish you),

So high I prize you, I could undergo 'em

With such a patience as should look down

With scorn on his worst malice.

ALLWORTH

Heaven avert

Such trials of your true affection to me!

Nor will it, unto you that are all mercy,

Show so much rigor. But since we must run

Such desperate hazards, let us do our best

To steer between 'em.

MARGARET

Your lord's ours, and sure;

And, though but a young actor, second me

In doing to the life what he has plotted;

The end may yet prove happy. Now, my Allworth—

Enter Overreach [behind].

ALLWORTH

[aside to her as they see Overreach]

To your letter! And put on a seeming anger.

MARGARET

[aloud]

I'll pay my lord all debts due to his title,

And when, with terms not taking from his honor,

He does solicit me, I shall gladly hear him.

But in this peremptory, nay, commanding way,

T'appoint a meeting, and, without my knowledge,

A priest to tie the knot can ne'er be undone

Till death unloose it, is a confidence

In His Lordship will deceive him.

ALLWORTH

I hope better,

Good lady.

MARGARET

Hope, sir, what you please. For me,

I must take a safe and secure course. I have

A father, and, without his full consent,

Though all lords of the land kneeled for my favor,

I can grant nothing.

OVERREACH

[coming forward]

I like this obedience.

But whatsoever my lord writes must and shall be

Accepted and embraced. Sweet Master Allworth,

You show yourself a true and faithful servant

To your good lord; he has a jewel of you.—

How? Frowning, Meg? Are these looks to receive

A messenger from my lord?

[Seeing the letter]

What's this? Give me it.

MARGARET

A piece of arrogant paper, like th'inscriptions.

Overreach [takes and] read[s] the letter.

OVERREACH

"Fair mistress, from your servant learn all joys

That we can hope for, if deferred, prove toys;

Therefore this instant, and in private, meet

A husband that will gladly at your feet

Lay down his honors, tend'ring them to you

With all content, the church being paid her due."

Is this the arrogant piece of paper? Fool,

Will you still be one? In the name of madness, what

Could His good Honor write more to content you?

Is there aught else to be wished after these two

That are already offered: marriage first,

And lawful pleasure after? What would you more?

MARGARET

Why, sir, I would be married like your daughter,

Not hurried away I'th'night I know not whither,

Without all ceremony, no friends invited

To honor the solemnity.

ALLWORTH

An't please Your Honor—

[Aside]

For so before tomorrow I must style you—

My lord desires this privacy in respect

His honorable kinsmen are far off,

And his desires to have it done brook not

So long delay as to expect their coming;

And yet he stands resolved, with all due pomp—

As running at the ring, plays, masques, and tilting—

To have his marriage at court celebrated

When he has brought Your Honor up to London.

OVERREACH

100

[to Margaret]

He tells you true; 'tis the fashion, on my knowledge.

Yet the good lord, to please your peevishness,

Must put it off, forsooth, and lose a night

In which perhaps he might get two boys on thee.

Tempt me no farther. If you do, this goad

[Pointing to his sword]

105

Shall prick you to him.

MARGARET

I could be contented,

Were you but by to do a father's part

And give me in the church.

OVERREACH

So my lord have you,

What do I care who gives you? Since my lord

Does purpose to be private, I'll not cross him.—

110

I know not, Master Allworth, how my lord

May be provided, and therefore

[giving money]

there's a purse

Of gold 'twill serve this night's expense; tomorrow

I'll furnish him with any sums. In the meantime,

115

Use my ring to my chaplain; he is beneficed

At my manor of Gotham, and called Parson Willdo.

'Tis no matter for a license; I'll bear him out in't.

MARGARET

With your favor, sir, what warrant is your ring?

He may suppose I got that twenty ways,

120

Without your knowledge; and then to be refused

Were such a stain upon me! If you pleased, sir,

Your presence would do better.

OVERREACH

Still perverse?

I say again I will not cross my lord;

Yet I'll prevent you too.

125

[Calling]

Paper and ink there!

ALLWORTH

I can furnish you.

OVERREACH

I thank you; I can write then.

Writes on his book.

ALLWORTH

You man, if you please, put out the name of my lord,

In respect he comes disguised, and only write:

"Marry her to this gentleman."

OVERREACH

Well advised.

[He writes, and gives the note to Allworth.]

130

'Tis done. Away!

(Margaret kneels.)

My blessing, girl? Thou hast it.

Nay, no reply; begone.

[She rises.]

Good Master Allworth,

This shall be the best night's work you ever made.

ALLWORTH

I hope so, sir.

Exeunt Allworth and Margaret.

OVERREACH

Farewell!—Now all's cocksure.

Methinks I hear already knights and ladies

135

Say, "Sir Giles Overreach, how is it with

Your honorable daughter? Has Her Honor

Slept well tonight?" Or, "Will Her Honor please

To accept this monkey? Dog? Or parakeet?"

(This is state in ladies), or "My eldest son

140

To be her page, and wait upon her trencher?"

My ends, my ends are compassed! Then for Wellborn

And the lands. Were he once married to the widow,

I have him here. I can scarce contain myself,

I am so full of joy, nay, joy all over!

Exit.

5.1

[Enter] Lovell, Lady [Allworth, and] Amble [who retires once he has ushered them in].

LADY ALLWORTH

By this you know how strong the motives were

That did, my lord, induce me to dispense

A little with my gravity, to advance,

In personating some few favors to him,

The plots and projects of the downtrod Wellborn.

Nor shall I e'er repent—although I suffer

In some few men's opinions for't—the action.

For he that ventured all for my dear husband

Might justly claim an obligation from me

To pay him such a courtesy, which, had I

Coyly or overcuriously denied,

It might have argued me of little love

To the deceased.

LOVELL

What you intended, madam,

For the poor gentleman hath found good success,

For, as I understand, his debts are paid,

And he once more furnished for fair employment.

But all the arts that I have used to raise

The fortunes of your joy and mine, young Allworth,

Stand yet in supposition, though I hope well,

For the young lovers are in wit more pregnant

Than their years can promise; and for their desires,

On my knowledge, they are equal.

LADY ALLWORTH

As my wishes

Are with yours, my lord. Yet give me leave to fear

The building, though well grounded. To deceive

Sir Giles, that's both a lion and a fox

In his proceedings, were a work beyond

The strongest undertakers, not the trial

Of two weak innocents.

LOVELL

Despair not, madam.

Hard things are compassed oft by easy means,

And judgment, being a gift derived from heaven,

Though sometimes lodged I'th'hearts of worldly men

That ne'er consider from whom they receive it,

Forsakes such as abuse the giver of it.

Which is the reason that the politic

And cunning statesman, that believes he fathoms

The counsels of all kingdoms on the earth,

Is by simplicity oft overreached.

LADY ALLWORTH

May he be so! Yet in his name to express it

Is a good omen.

LOVELL

May it to myself

Prove so, good lady, in my suit to you!

What think you of the motion?

LADY ALLWORTH

Troth, my lord,

My own unworthiness may answer for me;

For had you, when that I was in my prime

(My virgin flower uncropped), presented me

With this great favor, looking on my lowness

Not in a glass of self-love but of truth,

I could not but have thought it as a blessing

Far, far beyond my merit.

LOVELL

You are too modest,

And undervalue that which is above

My title, or whatever I call mine.

I grant, were I a Spaniard, to marry

A widow might disparage me, but, being

A trueborn Englishman, I cannot find

How it can taint my honor. Nay, what's more,

That which you think a blemish is to me

The fairest lustre. You already, madam,

Have given sure proofs how dearly you can cherish

A husband that deserves you, which confirms me

That, if I am not wanting in my care

To do you service, you'll be still the same

That you were to your Allworth. In a word,

Our years, our states, our births are not unequal,

You being descended nobly and allied so.

If then you may be won to make me happy,

But join your lips to mine, and that shall be

A solemn contract.

LADY ALLWORTH

I were blind to my own good,

Should I refuse it.

[They kiss.]

Yet, my lord, receive me

As such a one the study of whose whole life

Shall know no other object but to please you.

LOVELL

If I return not, with all tenderness,

Equal respect to you, may I die wretched!

LADY ALLWORTH

There needs no protestation, my lord.

To her that cannot doubt—

Enter Wellborn [handsomely dressed].

You are welcome, sir.

Now you look like yourself.

WELLBORN

And will continue

Such, in my free acknowledgment that I am

Your creature, madam, and will never hold

My life mine own when you please to command it.

LOVELL

It is a thankfulness that well becomes you.

You could not make choice of a better shape

To dress your mind in.

LADY ALLWORTH

For me, I am happy

That my endeavors prospered. Saw you of late

Sir Giles, your uncle?

WELLBORN

I heard of him, madam,

By his minister, Marrall. He's grown into strange passions

About his daughter. This last night he looked for

Your Lordship at his house, but, missing you,

And she not yet appearing, His Wisehead

Is much perplexed and troubled.

LOVELL

[to Lady Allworth]

It may be,

Sweetheart, my project took.

Enter Overreach [with a box], with distracted looks, driving in Marall before him. [They are unaware at first of the presence of the others already onstage.]

LADY ALLWORTH

I strongly hope.

OVERREACH

[to Marall]

Ha! find her, booby, thou huge lump of nothing!

I'll bore thine eyes out else.

WELLBORN

[aside to Lovell]

May it please Your Lordship,

For some ends of mine own, but to withdraw

A little out of sight, though not of hearing,

You may perhaps have sport.

LOVELL

You shall direct me.

Steps aside.

OVERREACH

[to Marall]

I shall sol-fa you, rogue.

MARALL

Sir, for what cause

Do you use me thus?

OVERREACH

Cause, slave? Why, I am angry,

And thou a subject only fit for beating,

And so to cool my choler. Look to the writing;

Let but the seal be broke upon the box

100

That has slept in my cabinet these three years,

I'll rack thy soul for't.

MARALL

(aside)

I may yet cry quittance,

Though now I suffer and dare not resist.

OVERREACH

[seeing Lady Allworth]

Lady, by your leave, did you see my daughter, lady?

And the lord her husband? Are they in your house?

If they are, discover, that I may bid 'em joy;

105

And, as an entrance to her place of honor,

See Your Ladyship on her left hand, and make curtsies

When she nods on you, which you must receive

As a special favor.

LADY ALLWORTH

When I know, Sir Giles,

Her state requires such ceremony, I shall pay it;

110

But in the meantime, as I am myself,

I give you to understand I neither know

Nor care where Her Honor is.

OVERREACH

When you once see her

Supported and led by the lord her husband,

You'll be taught better.

[Seeing Wellborn]

Nephew!

WELLBORN

Sir.

OVERREACH

No more?

WELLBORN

115

'Tis all I owe you.

OVERREACH

Have you redeemed rags

Made you thus insolent?

WELLBORN

(in scorn)

Insolent to you?

Why, what are you, sir, unless in your years,

At the best, more than myself?

OVERREACH

[aside]

His fortune swells him.

'Tis rank he's married.

LADY ALLWORTH

This is excellent!

OVERREACH

120

Sir, in calm language (though I seldom use it),

I am familiar with the cause that makes you

Bear up thus bravely. There's a certain buzz

Of a stol'n marriage—do you hear?—of a stol'n marriage,

In which, 'tis said, there's somebody hath been cozened.

125

I name no parties.

WELLBORN

Well, sir, and what follows?

OVERREACH

Marry, this, since you are peremptory: remember,

Upon mere hope of your great match, I lent you

A thousand pounds. Put me in good security,

And suddenly, by mortgage or by statute

130

Of some of your new possessions, or I'll have you

Dragged in your lavender robes to the jail. You know me,

And therefore do not trifle.

WELLBORN

Can you be

So cruel to your nephew, now he's in

The way to rise? Was this the courtesy

135

You did me in pure love and no ends else?

OVERREACH

End me no ends! Engage the whole estate,

And force you spouse to sign it, you shall have

Three or four thousand more, to roar and swagger

And revel in bawdy taverns.

WELLBORN

And beg after;

140

Mean you not so?

OVERREACH

My thoughts are mine, and free.

Shall I have security?

WELLBORN

No, indeed you shall not,

Nor bond, nor bill, nor bare acknowledgment.

Your great looks fright not me.

OVERREACH

But my deeds shall.

Outbraved?

They both draw.

The servants [including Order, Amble, and Furnace] enter.

LADY ALLWORTH

Help! Murder, murder!

WELLBORN

Let him come on,

145

With all his wrongs and injuries about him,

Armed with his cutthroat practices to guard him;

The right that I bring with me will defend me,

And punish his extortion.

OVERREACH

That I had thee

But single in the field!

LADY ALLWORTH

You may; but make not

150

My house your quarrelling scene.

OVERREACH

Were't in a church,

By heaven, and hell, I'll do't.

MARALL

[aside to Wellborn]

Now put him to

The showing of the deed.

WELLBORN

This rage is vain, sir.

For fighting, fear not; you shall have your hands full

Upon the least incitement. And whereas

155

You charge me with a debt of a thousand pounds,

If there be law (howe'er you have no conscience),

Either restore my land, or I'll recover

A debt that's truly due to me from you

In value ten times more than what you challenge.

OVERREACH

160

I in thy debt? Oh, impudence! Did I not purchase

The land left by thy father, that rich land,

That had continued in Wellborn's name

Twenty descents, which, like a riotous fool,

Thou didst make sale of? Is not here enclosed

165

The deed that does confirm it mine?

MARALL

[aside to Wellborn]

Now, now!

WELLBORN

I do acknowledge none. I ne'er passed o'er

Any such land. I grant for a year or two

You had it in trust, which if you do discharge,

Surrend'ring the possession, you shall ease

170

Yourself and me of chargeable suits in law—

Which if you prove not honest (as I doubt it)

Must of necessity follow.

LADY ALLWORTH

In my judgment

He does advise you well.

OVERREACH

Good! Good! Conspire

With you new husband, lady; second him

175

In his dishonest practices. But when

This manor is extended to my use,

You'll speak in an humbler key and sue for favor.

LADY ALLWORTH

Never. Do not hope it.

WELLBORN

Let despair first seize me!

OVERREACH

Yet to shut up thy mouth and make thee give

180

Thyself the lie, the loud lie, I draw out

The precious evidence; if thou canst forswear

Thy hand and seal, and make a forfeit of

Thy ears to the pillory, see, here's that will make

My interest clear.

(Opens the box.)

Ha!

LADY ALLWORTH

A fair skin of parchment.

WELLBORN

185

Indented, I confess, and labels too,

But neither wax nor words. How! Thunderstruck?

Not a syllable to insult with? My wise uncle,

Is this your precious evidence? Is this that makes

Your interest clear?

OVERREACH

I am o'erwhelmed with wonder!

190

What prodigy is this? What subtle devil

Hath razed out the inscription, the wax

Turned into dust? The rest of my deeds whole

As when they were delivered, and this only

Made nothing! Do you deal with witches, rascal?

195

There is a statute for you, which will bring

Your neck in a hempen circle; yes, there is.

And now 'tis better thought, for, cheater, know

This juggling shall not save you.

WELLBORN

To save thee

Would beggar the stock of mercy.

OVERREACH

Marrall!

MARALL

Sir?

OVERREACH

200

(flattering him)

Though the witnesses are dead, your testimony—

Help with an oath or two; and for thy master,

Thy liberal master, my good, honest servant,

I know thou wilt swear anything to dash

This cunning sleight. Besides, I know thou art

205

A public notary, and such stand in law

For a dozen witnesses. The deed being drawn too

By thee, my careful Marrall, and delivered

When thou wert present, will make good my title.

Wilt thou not swear this?

MARALL

I? No, I assure you.

210

I have a conscience not seared up like yours;

I know no deeds.

OVERREACH

Wilt thou betray me?

MARALL

[to the others]

Keep him

From using of his hands, I'll use my tongue

To his no little torment.

OVERREACH

[as they restrain him]

Mine own varlet

Rebel against me?

MARALL

Yes, and uncase you, too.

215

The idiot, the patch, the slave, the booby,

The property fit only to be beaten

For your morning exercise, your football, or

Th'unprofitable lump of flesh, your drudge,

Can now anatomize you, and lay open

220

All your black plots, and level with the earth

Your hill of pride, and, with these gabions guarded,

Unload my great artillery and shake,

Nay, pulverize the walls you think defend you.

LADY ALLWORTH

How he foams at the mouth with rage!

WELLBORN

To him again.

OVERREACH

225

Oh, that I had thee in my grip! I would tear thee

Joint after joint!

MARALL

I know you are a tearer,

But I'll have first your fangs pared off, and then

Come nearer to you, when I have discovered

And made it good before the judge what ways

230

And devilish practices you used to cozen with

An army of whole families, who, yet alive

And but enrolled for soldiers, were able

To take in Dunkirk.

WELLBORN

All will come out.

LADY ALLWORTH

The better.

OVERREACH

But that I will live, rogue, to torture thee

235

And make thee wish—and kneel in vain—to die,

These swords that keep thee from me should fix here,

Although they made my body but one wound,

But I would reach thee.

LOVELL

(aside)

Heav'n's hand is in this!

One bandog worry the other!

OVERREACH

I play the fool,

240

And make my anger but ridiculous.

There will be a time and place—there will be, cowards!—

When you shall feel what I dare do.

WELLBORN

I think so.

You dare do any ill, yet want true valor

To be honest and repent.

OVERREACH

They are words I know not,

245

Nor e'er will learn. Patience, the beggar's virtue,

Shall find no harbor here.

Enter Greedy and Parson Willdo.

After these storms,

At length a calm appears. Welcome, most welcome!

There's comfort in thy looks. Is the deed done?

Is my daughter married? Say but so, my chaplain,

250

And I am tame.

WILLDO

Married? Yes, I assure you.

OVERREACH

Then vanish all sad thoughts!

[Offering money]

There's more gold for thee.

My doubts and fears are in the titles drowned

Of my Right Honorable, my Right Honorable daughter.

GREEDY

Here will be feasting! At least for a month

255

I am provided. Empty guts, croak no more!

You shall be stuffed like bagpipes, not with wind

But bearing dishes.

OVERREACH

(whispering to Willdo)

Instantly be here?

To my wish, to my wish! Now you that plot against me,

And hoped to trip my heels up, that contemned me,

260

Think on't, and tremble.

(Loud music.)

They come! I hear the music.

A lane there for my lord!

WELLBORN

This sudden heat

May yet be cooled, sir.

OVERREACH

Make way there for my lord!

Enter Allworth and Margaret.

MARGARET

(kneeling)

Sir, first your pardon, then your blessing, with

Your full allowance of the choice I have made,

265

As ever you could make use of your reason.

Grow not in passion, since you may as well

Call back the day that's past as untie the knot

Which is too strongly fastened. Not to dwell

Too long on words, this's my husband.

OVERREACH

How!

ALLWORTH

270

So I assure you. All the rites of marriage,

With every circumstance, are past. Alas, sir,

Although I am no lord, but a lord's page,

Your daughter and my loved wife mourns not for it;

And, for "Right Honorable son-in-law," you may say

275

"Your dutiful daughter."

OVERREACH

Devil! Are they married?

WILLDO

Do a father's part, and say, "Heav'n give 'em joy!"

OVERREACH

Confusion and ruin! Speak, and speak quickly,

Or thou art dead.

WILLDO

They are married.

OVERREACH

Thou hadst better

Have made a contract with the king of fiends

280

Than these. My brain turns!

WILLDO

Why this rage to me?

Is not this your letter, sir, and these the words?

"Marry her to this gentleman."

OVERREACH

It cannot—

Nor will I e'er believe it—'sdeath, I will not—

That I, that in all passages I touched

285

At worldly profit have not left a print

Where I have trod for the most curious search

To trace my footsteps, should be gulled by children,

Baffled and fooled, and all my hopes and labors

Defeated and made void!

WELLBORN

As it appears,

290

You are so, my grave uncle.

OVERREACH

Village nurses

Revenge their wrongs with curses. I'll not waste

A syllable, but thus I take the life

Which wretched I gave to thee.

Offers to kill Margaret.

LOVELL

[intervening]

Hold, for your own sake!

Though charity to your daughter hath quite left you,

295

Will you do an act, though in your hopes lost here,

Can leave no hope for peace or rest hereafter?

Consider: at the best you are but a man,

And cannot so create your aims but that

They may be crossed.

OVERREACH

Lord, thus I spit at thee

300

And at thy counsel, and again desire thee,

As thou art a soldier, if thy valor

Dares show itself where multitude and example

Lead not the way, let's quit the house and change

Six words in private.

LOVELL

I am ready, sir.

LADY ALLWORTH

[to Lovell]

Stay, sir!

305

Contest with one distracted?

WELLBORN

You'll grow like him,

Should you answer his vain challenge.

OVERREACH

[to Lovell]

Are you pale?

Borrow his help. Though Hercules call it odds,

I'll stand against both, as I am, hemmed in thus.

Since, like a Libyan lion in the toil,

310

My fury cannot reach the coward hunters

And only spends itself, I'll quit the place.

Alone I can do nothing, but I have servants

And friends to second me; and, if I make not

This house a heap of ashes—by my wrongs,

315

What I have spoke I will make good!—or leave

One throat uncut, if it be possible,

Hell add to my afflictions!

Exit Overreach.

MARALL

Is't not brave sport?

GREEDY

Brave sport? I am sure it has ta'en away my stomach;

I do not like the sauce.

ALLWORTH

[to Margaret]

Nay, weep not, dearest,

320

Though it express your pity; what's decreed

Above, we cannot alter.

LADY ALLWORTH

His threats move me

No scruple, madam.

MARALL

[to Wellborn]

Was it not a rare trick,

An it please Your Worship, to make the deed nothing?

I can do twenty neater, if you please

325

To purchase and grow rich, for I will be

Such a solicitor and steward for you

As never worshipful had.

WELLBORN

I do believe thee.

But first discover the quaint means you used

To raze out the conveyance.

MARALL

They are mysteries

330

Not to be spoke in public: certain minerals

Incorporated in the ink and wax.

Besides, he gave me nothing, but still fed me

With hopes and blows; and that was the inducement

To this conundrum. If it please Your Worship

335

To call to memory, this mad beast once caused me

To urge you or to drown or hang yourself;

I'll do the like to him, if you command me.

WELLBORN

You are a rascal! He that dares be false

To a master, though unjust, will ne'er be true

340

To any other. Look not for reward

Or favor from me; I will shun thy sight

As I would do a basilisk's. Thank my pity

If thou keep thy ears. Howe'er, I will take order

Your practice shall be silenced.

GREEDY

I'll commit him,

345

If you'll have me, sir.

WELLBORN

That were to little purpose.

His conscience be his prison.—Not a word,

But instantly begone!

ORDER

[kicking Marall]

Take this kick with you.

AMBLE

[kicking Marall]

And this.

FURNACE

If that I had my cleaver here

350

I would divide your knave's head.

MARALL

This is the haven

False servants still arrive at.

Exit Marall.

Enter Overreach [distracted in his wits].

LADY ALLWORTH

Come again!

LOVELL

Fear not; I am your guard.

WELLBORN

His looks are ghastly.

WILLDO

Some little time I have spent, under your favors,

In physical studies, and, if my judgment err not,

355

He's mad beyond recovery. But observe him,

And look to yourselves.

OVERREACH

Why, is not the whole world

Included in myself? To what use then

Are friends and servants? Say there were a squadron

Of pikes, lined through with shot; when I am mounted

360

Upon my injuries, shall I fear to charge 'em?

Flourishing his sword ensheathed.

No: I'll through the battalia, and, that routed,

I'll fall to execution. Ha! I am feeble:

Some undone widow sits upon mine arm

And takes away the use of't, and my sword,

365

Glued to my scabbard with wronged orphans' tears,

Will not be drawn. Ha! What are these? Sure, hangmen,

That come to bind my hands, and then to drag me

Before the judgment seat! Now they are new shapes

And do appear like Furies, with steel whips

370

To scourge my ulcerous soul! Shall I then fall

Ingloriously, and yield? No! Spite of Fate,

I will be forced to hell like to myself;

Though you were legions of accursèd spirits,

Thus would I fly among you.

[He runs at them weakly.]

WELLBORN

There's no help.

375

Disarm him first, then bind him.

GREEDY

Take a mittimus

And carry him to Bedlam.

LOVELL

How he foams!

WELLBORN

And bites the earth!

WILLDO

Carry him to some dark room.

There try what art can do for his recovery.

MARGARET

380

O my dear father!

They [Order, Amble, Furnace, etc.] force Overreach off.

ALLWORTH

You must be patient, mistress.

LOVELL

Here is a precedent to teach wicked men

That, when they leave religion and turn atheists,

Their own abilities leave 'em. Pray you, take comfort.

I will endeavor you shall be his guardians

385

In his distractions. And for your land, Master Wellborn,

Be it good or ill in law, I'll be an umpire

Between you and this, th'undoubted heir

Of Sir Giles Overreach. For me, here's the anchor

That I must fix on.

ALLWORTH

What you shall determine,

390

My lord, I will allow of.

WELLBORN

'Tis the language

That I speak, too. But there is something else

Beside the repossession of my land

And payment of my debts that I must practice.

I had a reputation, but 'twas lost

395

In my loose course; and, till I redeem it

Some noble way, I am but half made up.

It is a time of action. If Your Lordship

Will please to confer a company upon me

In your command, I doubt not in my service

400

To my king and country but I shall do something

That may make me right again.

LOVELL

Your suit is granted,

And you loved for the motion.

WELLBORN

Nothing wants then

But your allowance—

The Epilogue

But your allowance, and in that our all

Is comprehended, it being known nor we

Nor he that wrote the comedy can be free

Without your manumission—which if you

Grant willingly, as a fair favor due

To the poet's and our labors (as you may,

For we despair not, gentlemen, of the play),

We jointly shall profess Your Grace hath might

To teach us action, and him how to write.

[Exeunt.]

FINIS

Philip Massinger Massinger, Philip

A New Way To Pay Old Debts

1.1

1.2

1.3

2.1

2.2

2.3

3.1

3.2

3.3

4.1

4.2

4.3

5.1

The Epilogue