Enter Antic, Frolic, and Fantastic
Antic
1How now, fellow Frolic! What, all
2amort? Doth this sadness become thy madness?
3What though we have lost our way in the
4woods, yet never hang the head as though thou
5hadst no hope to live till to-morrow; for
6Fantastic and I will warrant thy life to-night
7for twenty in the hundred.
Frolic
8Antic and Fantastic, as I am frolic
9franion, never in all my life was I so dead
10slain. What, to lose our way in the wood,
11without either fire or candle, so uncomfortable!
12O cælum! O terra! O Maria! O Neptune!
Fantastic
13Why makes thou it so strange, seeing
14Cupid hath led our young master to the fair
15lady, and she is the only saint that he hath
16sworn to serve?
Frolic
17What resteth, then, but we commit
18him to his wench, and each of us take his stand
19up in a tree, and sing out our ill fortune to the
20tune of "O man in desperation"?
Antic
21Desperately spoken, fellow frolic, in
22the dark; but seeing it falls out thus, let us
23rehearse the old proverb:
ErrorMetrica
24
"Three merry men, and three merry men,
25
And three merry men be we;
26
I in the wood, and thou on the ground,
27
And Jack sleeps in the tree."
Fantastic
28Hush! a dog in the wood, or a wooden
29dog! O comfortable hearing! I had even as
30lief the chamberlain of the White Horse had
31called me up to bed.
Frolic
32Either hath this trotting cur gone out
33of his circuit, or else are we near some village,
34which should not be far off, for I perceive the
35glimmering of a glow-worm, a candle, or a
36cat's eye, my life for a halfpenny!
Enter [Clunch] a smith, with a lantern and candle
37In the name of my own father, be thou ox
38or ass that appearest, tell us what thou art.
Smith
39What am I? Why, I am Clunch the
40smith. What are you? What make you in
41my territories at this time of the night?
Antic
42What do we make, dost thou ask?
43Why, we make faces for fear; such as if thy
44mortal eyes could behold, would make thee
45water the long seams of thy side slops,
46smith.
Frolic
47And, in faith, sir, unless your hospitality
48do relieve us, we are like to wander, with
49a sorrowful heigh-ho, among the owlets and
50hobgoblins of the forest. Good Vulcan, for
51Cupid's sake that hath cozened us all, befriend
52us as thou mayst; and command us howsoever,
53wheresoever, whensoever, in whatsoever, for
54ever and ever.
Smith
55Well, masters, it seems to me you
56have lost your way in the wood; in consideration
57whereof, if you will go with Clunch to his
58cottage, you shall have house-room and a good
59fire to sit by, although we have no bedding to
60put you in.
All
61O blessed smith, O bountiful Clunch!
Smith
62For your further entertainment, it
63shall be as it may be, so and so.
(Here a dog bark.)
64Hark! this is Ball my dog, that bids you
65all welcome in his own language. Come,
66take heed for stumbling on the threshold. –
67Open door, Madge; take in guests.
Enter old woman [Madge]
Madge
68Welcome, Clunch, and good fellows
69all, that come with my good man. For my
70good man's sake, come on, sit down; here is
71a piece of cheese, and a pudding of my own
72making.
Antic
73Thanks, gammer; a good example for
74the wives of our town.
Frolic
75Gammer, thou and thy good man
76sit lovingly together; we come to chat, and
77not to eat.
Smith
78Well, masters, if you will eat nothing,
79take away. Come, what do we to pass
80away the time? Lay a crab in the fire to
81roast for lamb's-wool. What, shall we have a
82game at trump or ruff to drive away the time?
83How say you?
Fantastic
84This smith leads a life as merry as a
85king with Madge his wife. Sirrah Frolic, I
86am sure thou art not without some round or
87other; no doubt but Clunch can bear his part.
Frolic
88Else think you me ill brought up; so
89set to it when you will.
They sing.
SONG
90
Whenas the rye reach to the chin,
91
And chopcherry, chopcherry ripe within,
92
Strawberries swimming in the cream,
93
And school-boys playing in the stream;
94
Then, O, then, O, then, O, my true-love said,
95
Till that time come again
96
She could not live a maid.
Antic
97This sport does well; but methinks,
98gammer, a merry winter's tale would drive
99away the time trimly. Come, I am sure you are
100not without a score.
Fantastic
101I' faith, gammer, a tale of an hour
102long were as good as an hour's sleep.
Frolic
103Look you, gammer, of the giant and
104the king's daughter, and I know not what. I
105have seen the day, when I was a little one,
106you might have drawn me a mile after you with
107such a discourse.
Madge
108Well, since you be so importunate,
109my good man shall fill the pot and get him to
110bed; they that ply their work must keep
111good hours. One of you go lie with him; he is a
112clean-skinned man, I tell you, without either
113spavin or wind-gall: so I am content to drive
114away the time with an old wives' winter's tale.
Fantastic
115No better hay in Devonshire; o'
116my word, gammer, I'll be one of your audience.
Frolic
117And I another, that's flat.
Antic
118Then must I to bed with the good man.
119–Bonna nox, gammer. – Good night, Frolic.
Smith
120Come on, my lad, thou shalt take
121thy unnatural rest with me.
Exeunt Antic and the Smith.
Frolic
122Yet this vantage shall we have of them
123in the morning, to be ready at the sight thereof
124extempore.
Madge
125Now this bargain, my masters,
126must I make with you, that you will say hum
127and ha to my tale; so shall I know you are
128awake.
Both
129Content, gammer, that will we do.
Madge
130Once upon a time, there was a
131king, or a lord, or a duke, that had a fair
132daughter, the fairest that ever was, as white
133as snow and as red as blood; and once upon a
134time his daughter was stolen away; and he
135sent all his men to seek out his daughter;
136and he sent so long, that he sent all his men
137out of his land.
Frolic
138Who dressed his dinner, then?
Madge
139Nay, either hear my tale, or kiss
140my tale.
Fantastic
141Well said! On with your tale, gammer.
Madge
142O Lord, I quite forgot! There was
143a conjurer, and this conjurer could do any thing,
144and he turned himself into a great dragon, and
145carried the king's daughter away in his
146mouth to a castle that he made of stone; and
147there he kept her I know not how long, till at
148last all the king's men went out so long that
149her two brothers went to seek her. O, I forget!
150she (he, I would say,) turned a proper young
151man to a bear in the night, and a man in the
152day, and keeps by a cross that parts three
153several ways; and he made his lady run mad
154– Gods me bones, who comes here?
Enter the Two Brothers
Frolic
155Soft, gammer, here some come to
156tell your tale for you.
Fantastic
157Let them alone; let us hear what they
158will say.
1 Brother
159
Upon these chalky cliffs of Albion
160
We are arrived now with tedious toil;
161
And compassing the wide world round about,
162
To seek our sister, to seek fair Delia forth,
163
Yet cannot we so much as hear of her.
2 Brother
164
O fortune cruel, cruel and unkind!
165
Unkind in that we cannot find our sister,
166
Our sister, hapless in her cruel chance!
167
Soft! who have we here?
Enter Senex [Erestus] at the cross, stooping to gather
1 Brother
168Now, father, God be your speed!
169What do you gather there?
Erestus
170Hips and haws, and sticks and
171straws, and things that I gather on the ground,
172my son.
1 Brother
173Hips and haws, and sticks and straws!
174Why, is that all your food, father?
2 Brother
176Father, here is an alms-penny for
177me; and if I speed in that I go for, I will give
178thee as good a gown of grey as ever thou diddest
179wear.
1 Brother
180And, father, here is another alms-
181penny for me; and if I speed in my journey, I
182will give thee a palmer's staff of ivory, and a
183scallop-shell of beaten gold.
2 Brother
185Ay, the fairest for white, and the
186purest for red, as the blood of the deer, or the
187driven snow.
Erestus
188Then hark well, and mark well, my
189old spell:
ErrorMetrica
190
Be not afraid of ever stranger;
191
Start not aside at every danger;
192
Things that seem are not the same;
193
Blow a blast at every flame:
194
For when one flame of fire goes out,
195
Then comes your wishes well about:
196
If any ask who told you this good,
197
Say, the white bear of England's wood.
1 Brother
198Brother, heard you not what the old
199man said?
ErrorMetrica
200
"Be not afraid of every stranger;
201
Start not aside for every danger;
202
Things that seem are not the same;
203
Blow a blast at every flame;
204
If any ask who told you this good,
205
Say, the white bear of England's wood."
2 Brother
206
Well, if this do us any good,
207
Well fare the white bear of England's wood!
Exeunt [the Two Brothers].
Erestus
208
Now sit thee here, and tell a heavy tale,
209
Sad in thy mood, and sober in thy cheer;
210
Here sit thee now, and to thyself relate
211
The hard mishap of thy most wretched state.
212
In Thessaly I liv'd in sweet content,
213
Until that fortune wrought my overthrow;
214
For there I wedded was unto a dame,
215
That liv'd in honour, virtue, love, and fame.
216
But Sacrapant, that cursed sorcerer,
217
Being besotted with my beauteous love,
218
My dearest love, my true betrothed wife,
219
Did seek the means to rid me of my life.
220
But worse than this, he with his chanting spells
221
Did turn me straight unto an ugly bear;
222
And when the sun doth settle in the west,
223
Then I begin to don my ugly hide.
224
And all the day I sit, as now you see,
225
And speak in riddles, all inspir'd with rage,
226
Seeming an old and miserable man,
227
And yet I am in April of my age.
Enter Venelia his lady, mad; and goes in again.
228
See where Venelia, my betrothed love,
229
Runs madding, all enrag'd, about the woods,
230
All by his cursed and enchanting spells. –
Enter Lampriscus with a pot of honey
231But here comes Lampriscus, my discontented
232neighbour. How now, neighbour! You
233look toward the ground as well as I; you
234muse on something.
Lampriscus
235Neighbour, on nothing but on the
236matter I so often moved to you. If you do
237anything for charity, help me; if for neighbourhood
238or brotherhood, help me: never was
239one so cumbered as is poor Lampriscus; and
240to begin, I pray receive this pot of honey, to
241mend your fare.
Erestus
242Thanks, neighbour, set it down;
243honey is always welcome to the bear. And
244now, neighbour, let me hear the cause of your
245coming.
Lampriscus
246I am, as you know, neighbour, a
247man unmarried; and lived so unquietly
248with my two wives, that I keep every year holy
249the day wherein I buried them both: the first
250was on Saint Andrew's day, the other on
251Saint Luke's.
Erestus
252And now, neighbour, you of this
253country say, your custom is out. But on with
254your tale, neighbour.
Lampriscus
255By my first wife, whose tongue
256wearied me alive, and sounded in my ears
257like the clapper of a great bell, whose talk
258was a continual torment to all that dwelt by
259her or lived nigh her, you have heard me say
260I had a handsome daughter.
Erestus
261True, neighbour.
Lampriscus
262She it is that afflicts me with her
263continual clamours, and hangs on me like a bur.
264Poor she is, and proud she is; as poor as a
265sheep new-shorn, and as proud of her hopes
266as a peacock of her tail well-grown.
Erestus
267Well said, Lampriscus! You
268speak it like an Englishman.
Lampriscus
269As curst as a wasp, and as forward
270as a child new-taken from the mother's teat;
271she is to my age as smoke to the eyes or as
272vinegar to the teeth.
Erestus
273Holily praised, neighbour. As much
274for the next.
Lampriscus
275By my other wife I had a daughter
276so hard-favoured, so foul and ill-faced, that I
277think a grove full of golden trees, and the
278leaves of rubies and diamonds, would not be a
279dowry answerable to her deformity.
Erestus
280Well, neighbour, now you have spoke,
281hear me speak. Send them to the well for
282the water of life; there shall they find
283their fortunes unlooked for. Neighbour, farewell.
Exit.
Lampriscus
284Farewell, and a thousand! And now
285goeth poor Lampriscus to put in execution this
286excellent counsel.
Exit.
Frolic
287Why, this goes round without a fiddling-
288stick: but, do you hear, gammer, was this the
289man that was a bear in the night and a man
290in the day?
Madge
291Ay, this is he; and this man
292that came to him was a beggar, and dwelt upon
293a green. But soft! who comes here? O, these
294are the harvest-men. Ten to one they sing a
295song of mowing.
Enter the Harvest-men a-singing, with this song double repeated
296
All ye that lovely lovers be,
297
Pray you for me.
298
Lo, here we come a-sowing, a-sowing,
299
And sow sweet fruits of love;
300
In your sweet hearts well may it prove!
Exeunt.
Enter Huanebango with his two-hand sword, and Booby, the clown
Fantastic
301Gammer, what is he?
Madge
302O, this is one that is going to the
303conjurer. Let him alone; hear what he says.
Huanebango
304Now, by Mars and Mercury, Jupiter
305and Janus, Sol and Saturnus, Venus and Vesta,
306Pallas and Proserpina, and by the honour
307of my house, Polimackeroeplacidus, it is a
308wonder to see what this love will make silly
309fellows adventure, even in the wane of their
310wits and infancy of their discretion. Alas, my
311friend! what fortune calls thee forth to seek
312thy fortune among brazen gates, enchanted
313towers, fire and brimstone, thunder and lightning?
314Beauty, I tell thee, is peerless, and she
315precious whom thou affectest. Do off these
316desires, good countryman; good friend, run
317away from thyself; and, so soon as thou canst,
318forget her, whom none must inherit but he that
319can monsters tame, labours achieve, riddles absolve,
320loose enchantments, murther magic, and
321kill conjuring, –and that is the great and
322mighty Huanebango.
Booby
323Hark you, sir, hark you. First know
324I have here the flurting feather, and have
325given the parish the start for the long stock:
326now, sir, if it be no more but running
327through a little lightning, and thunder, and
328"riddle me, riddle me what's this?" I'll have
329the wench from the conjurer, if he were ten
330conjurers.
Huanebango
331I have abandoned the court and
332honourable company, to do my devoir against
333this sore sorcerer and mighty magician: if
334this lady be so fair as she is said to be, she
335is mine, she is mine; meus, mea, meum, in
336contemptum omnium grammaticorum.
Booby
337O falsum Latinum!
338The fair maid is minum,
339Cum apurtinantibus gibletis and all.
Huanebango
340If she be mine, as I assure myself
341the heavens will do somewhat to reward
342my worthiness, she shall be allied to none of
343the meanest gods, but be invested in the most
344famous stock of Huanebango, – Polimackeroeplacidus
345my grandfather, my father Pergopolineo,
346my mother Dionora de Sardinia,
347famously descended.
Booby
348Do you hear, sir? Had not you a
349cousin that was called Gusteceridis?
Huanebango
350Indeed, I had a cousin that sometime
351followed the court infortunately, and
352his name Bustegusteceridis.
Booby
353O Lord, I know him well! He is
354the knight of the neat's-feet.
Huanebango
355O, he loved no capon better! He hath
356oftentimes deceived his boy of his dinner;
357that was his fault, good Bustegusteceridis.
Booby
358Come, shall we go along?
[Enter Erestus at the cross]
359Soft! here is an old man at the cross; let us
360ask him the way thither. – Ho, you gaffer!
361I pray you tell where the wise man the conjurer
362dwells.
Huanebango
363Where that earthly goddess keepeth
364her abode, the commander of my thoughts,
365and fair mistress of my heart.
Erestus
366Fair enough, and far enough from
367thy fingering, son.
Huanebango
368I will follow my fortune after mine
369own fancy, and do according to mine own
370discretion.
Erestus
371Yet give something to an old man
372before you go.
Huanebango
373Father, methinks a piece of this cake
374might serve your turn.
Huanebango
376Huanebango giveth no cakes for alms;
377ask of them that give gifts for poor beggars. –
378Fair lady, if thou wert once shrined in this
379bosom, I would buckler thee haratantara.
Exit.
Booby
380Father, do you see this man?
381You little think he'll run a mile or two for such
382a cake, or pass for a pudding. I tell you, father,
383he has kept such a begging of me for a piece of
384this cake! Whoo! he comes upon me with "a
385superfantial substance, and the foison of
386the earth," that I know not what he means.
387If he came to me thus, and said, "My friend
388Booby," or so, why, I could spare him a piece
389with all my heart; but when he tells me how
390God hath enriched me above other fellows
391with a cake, why, he makes me blind and deaf
392at once. Yet, father, here is a piece of cake for
393you, as hard as the world goes.
[Gives cake.]
Erestus
394
Thanks, son, but list to me;
395
He shall be deaf when thou shalt not see.
396
Farewell, my son: things may so hit,
397
Thou mayst have wealth to mend thy wit.
Booby
398Farewell, father, farewell; for I must
399make haste after my two-hand sword that is
400gone before.
Exeunt omnes.
Enter Sacrapant in his study
Sacrapant
401
The day is clear, the welkin bright and grey,
402
The lark is merry and records her notes;
403
Each thing rejoiceth underneath the sky,
404
But only I, whom heaven hath in hate,
405
Wretched and miserable Sacrapant.
406
In Thessaly was I born and brought up;
407
My mother Meroe hight, a famous witch,
408
And by her cunning I of her did learn
409
To change and alter shapes of mortal men.
410
There did I turn myself into a dragon,
411
And stole away the daughter to the king,
412
Fair Delia, the mistress of my heart;
413
And brought her hither to revive the man
414
That seemeth young and pleasant to behold,
415
And yet is aged, crooked, weak, and numb.
416
Thus by enchanting spells I do deceive
417
Those that behold and look upon my face;
418
But well may I bid youthful years adieu.
Enter Delia with a pot in her hand
419See where she comes from whence my sorrows grow!
420How now, fair Delia! where have you been?
Delia
421At the foot of the rock for running
422water, and gathering roots for your dinner, sir.
Sacrapant
423Ah, Delia, fairer art thou than the
424running water, yet harder far than steel or
425adamant!
Delia
426Will it please you to sit down, sir?
Sacrapant
427Ay, Delia, sit and ask me what thou wilt,
428Thou shalt have it brought into thy lap.
Delia
429Then, I pray you, sir, let me have the
430best meat from the King of England's table,
431and the best wine in all France, brought in by
432the veriest knave in all Spain.
Sacrapant
433
Delia, I am glad to see you so pleasant.
434
Well, sit thee down. –
435
Spread, table, spread,
436
Meat, drink, and bread,
437
Ever may I have
438
What I ever crave,
439
When I am spread,
440
For meat for my black cock,
441
And meat for my red.
Enter a Friar with a chine of beef and a pot of wine
442Here, Delia, will ye fall to?
Delia
443Is this the best meat in England?
Sacrapant
446A chine of English beef, meat for a
447king and a king's followers.
Delia
448Is this the best wine in France?
Delia
450What wine is it?
Sacrapant
451A cup of neat wine of Orleans, that
452never came near the brewers in England.
Delia
453Is this the veriest knave in all Spain?
Delia
455What is he, a friar?
Sacrapant
456Yea, a friar indefinite, and a knave
457infinite.
Delia
458Then, I pray ye, Sir Friar, tell me
459before you go, which is the most greediest
460Englishman?
Friar
461The miserable and most covetous usurer.
Sacrapant
462Hold thee there, friar.
Exit Friar.
463But soft!
464Who have we here? Delia, away, begone!
Enter the Two Brothers
ErrorMetrica
465
Delia, away! for beset are we. –
466
But heaven nor hell shall rescue her for me.
[Exeunt Delia and Sacrapant.]
1 Brother
467
Brother, was not that Delia did appear,
468
Or was it but her shadow that was here?
2 Brother
469
Sister, where art thou? Delia come again!
470
He calls, that of thy absence doth complain. –
471
Call out, Calypha, that she may hear,
472
And cry aloud, for Delia is near.
1 Brother
474Near! O, where? Hast thou any tidings?
2 Brother
476Which way is Delia, then; or that, or this?
1 Brother
478And may we safely come where Delia is?
2 Brother
480Brother, remember you the white
481bear of England's wood?
ErrorMetrica
482
"Start not aside for every danger,
483
Be not afeard of every stranger;
484
Things that seem are not the same."
1 Brother
485Brother, why do we not, then, courageously
486enter?
2 Brother
487Then, brother, draw thy sword and
488follow me.
Enter [Sacrapant] the Conjurer: it lightens and thunders; the 2. Brother falls down.
1 Brother
489What, brother, dost thou fall?
Sacrapant
490Ay, and thou too, Calypha.
Fall 1. Brother. Enter Two Furies
491Adeste, dæmones! Away with them:
ErrorMetrica
492
Go carry them straight to Sacrapanto's cell,
493
There in despair and torture for to dwell.
[Exeunt Furies with the Two Brothers.]
494
These are Thenores' sons of Thessaly,
495
That come to seek Delia their sister forth;
496
But, with a potion I to her have given,
497
My arts have made her to forget herself.
He removes a turf, and shows a light in a glass.
498
See here the thing which doth prolong my life.
499
With this enchantment I do any thing;
500
And till this fade, my skill shall still endure,
501
And never none shall break this little glass,
502
But she that's neither wife, widow, nor maid.
503
Then cheer thyself; this is thy destiny,
504
Never to die but by a dead man's hand.
Exit.
Enter Eumenides, the wandering knight, and [Erestus] the old man at the cross
Eumenides
505
Tell me, Time,
506
Tell me, just Time, when shall I Delia see?
507
When shall I see the loadstar of my life?
508
When shall my wand'ring course end with her sight,
509
Or I but view my hope, my heart's delight?
510
[Seeing Erestus] Father, God speed! If you tell fortunes, I
511pray, good father, tell me mine.
Erestus
512
Son, I do see in thy face
513
Thy blessed fortune work apace.
514
I do perceive that thou hast wit;
515
Beg of thy fate to govern it,
516
For wisdom govern'd by advice,
517
Makes many fortunate and wise.
518
Bestow thy alms, give more than all,
519
Till dead men's bone come at thy call.
520
Farewell, my son! Dream of no rest,
521
Till thou repent that thou didst best.
Exit Old Man.
Eumenides
522This man hath left me in a labyrinth:
ErrorMetrica
523
He biddeth me give more than all,
524
"Till dead men's bones come at thy call";
525
He biddeth me dream of no rest,
526
Till I repent that I do best.
[Lies down and sleeps.]
Enter Wiggen, Corebus, Churchwarden, and Sexton
Wiggen
527You may be ashamed, you whoreson
528scald Sexton and Churchwarden, if you had
529any shame in those shameless faces of yours, to
530let a poor man lie so long above ground unburied.
531A rot on you all, that have no more
532compassion of a good fellow when he is gone!
Churchwarden
533What, would you have us to bury
534him, and to answer it ourselves to the parish?
Sexton
535Parish me no parishes; pay me my fees,
536and let the rest run on in the quarter's accounts,
537and put it down for one of your good
538deeds, o' God's name! for I am not one that
539curiously stands upon merits.
Corebus
540You whoreson, sodden-headed sheep's-face,
541shall a good fellow do less service and
542more honesty to the parish, and will you not,
543when he is dead, let him have Christmas burial?
Wiggen
544Peace, Corebus! As sure as Jack was
545Jack, the frolic'st franion amongst you, and I,
546Wiggen, his sweet sworn brother, Jack shall
547have his funerals, or some of them shall lie
548on God's dear earth for it, that's once.
Churchwarden
549Wiggen, I hope thou wilt do no
550more than thou dar'st answer.
Wiggen
551Sir, sir, dare or dare not, more or less,
552answer or not answer, do this, or have this.
Sexton
553Help, help, help!
Wiggen sets upon the parish with a pike-staff.
Eumenides awakes and comes to them
Eumenides
554Hold thy hands, good fellow.
Corebus
555Can you blame him, sir, if he take
556Jack's part against this shake-rotten parish
557that will not bury Jack?
Eumenides
558Why, what was that Jack?
Corebus
559Who, Jack, sir? Who, our Jack, sir?
560As good a fellow as ever trod upon neat's-leather.
Wiggen
561Look you, sir; he gave fourscore
562and nineteen mourning gowns to the parish
563when he died, and because he would not make
564them up a full hundred, they would not bury
565him: was not this good dealing?
Churchwarden
566O Lord, sir, how he lies! He
567was not worth a halfpenny, and drunk out
568every penny; and now his fellows, his drunken
569companions would have us to bury him at the
570charge of the parish. An we make many such
571matches, we may pull down the steeple, sell
572the bells, and thatch the chancel. He shall lie
573above ground till he dance a galliard about the
574church-yard, for Steven Loach.
Wiggen
575Sic argumentaris, Domine Loach: –
576"an we make many such matches, we may
577pull down the steeple, sell the bells, and thatch
578the chancel!" – in good time, sir, and hang
579yourselves in the bell-ropes, when you have
580done. Domine opponens, præpono tibi hanc
581quæstionem, whether will you have the
582ground broken or your pates broken first?
583For one of them shall be done presently, and
584to begin mine, I'll seal it upon your coxcomb.
Eumenides
585Hold thy hands, I pray thee, good
586fellow; be not too hasty.
Corebus
587You capon's face, we shall have you
588turned out of the parish one of these days, with
589never a tatter to your arse; then you are in
590worse taking than Jack.
Eumenides
591Faith, and he is bad enough. This
592fellow does but the part of a friend, to seek to
593bury his friend. How much will bury him?
Wiggen
594Faith, about some fifteen or sixteen
595shillings will bestow him honestly.
Sexton
596Ay, even thereabouts, sir.
Eumenides
597Here, hold it, then: [aside] – and
598
I have left me but one poor three half-pence.
599
Now do I remember the words the old man
600
spake at the cross, "Bestow all thou hast,"
601
and this is all, "till dead men's bones comes
602
at thy call." – Here, hold it.
[gives money]; and
603so farewell.
Wiggen
604God, and all good, be with you, sir!
[Exit Eumenides.]
605Nay, you cormorants, I'll
606bestow one peal of Jack at mine own proper
607costs and charges.
Corebus
608You may thank God the long staff and
609the bilbo-blade crossed not your coxcomb.–
610Well, we'll to the church-stile and have a pot,
611and so trill-lill.
Churchwarden, Sexton
612Come, let's go.
Exeunt.
Fantastic
613But, hark you, gammer, methinks this
614Jack bore a great sway in the parish.
Madge
615O, this Jack was a marvellous
616fellow! he was but a poor man, but very well
617beloved. You shall see anon what this Jack
618will come to.
Enter the Harvest-men singing, with women in their hands
Frolic
619Soft! who have we here? Our amorous
620harvesters.
Fantastic
621Ay, ay, let us sit still, and let them
622alone.
Here they begin to sing, the song doubled
ErrorMetrica
623
Lo, here we come a-reaping, a-reaping,
624
To reap our harvest-fruit!
625
And thus we pass the year so long,
626
And never be we mute.
Exeunt the Harvest-men.
Enter Huanebango and [a little later] Corebus, the clown
Frolic
627Soft! who have we here?
Madge
628O, this is a choleric gentleman! All
629you that love your lives, keep out of the smell
630of his two-hand sword. Now goes he to the
631conjurer.
Fantastic
632Methinks the conjurer should put the
633fool into a juggling-box.
Huanebango
634
Fee, fa, fum,
635
Here is the Englishman. –
636
Conquer him that can, –
637
Came for his lady bright,
638
To prove himself a knight,
639
And win her love in fight.
Corebus
640Who-haw, Master Bango, are you
641here? Hear you, you had best sit down here,
642and beg an alms with me.
Huanebango
643Hence, base cullion! Here is he that
644commandeth ingress and egress with his weapon,
645and will enter at his voluntary, whosoever
646saith no.
A voice and flame of fire; Huanebango falleth down
Madge
648So with that they kissed, and spoiled
649the edge of as good a two-hand sword as ever
650God put life in. Now goes Corebus in, spite
651of the conjurer.
Enter [Sacrapant] the Conjurer and [Two Furies and] strike Corebus blind
Sacrapant
652
Away with him into the open fields,
653
To be a ravening prey to crows and kites:
[Huanabengo is carried out by the Two Furies.]
654
And for this villain, let him wander up and down,
655
In naught but darkness and eternal night.
Corebus
656
Here hast thou slain Huan, a slashing knight,
657
And robbed poor Corebus of his sight.
Exit.
Sacrapant
658
Hence, villain, hence! – Now I have unto Delia
659
Given a potion of forgetfulness,
660
That, when she comes, she shall not know her brothers.
661
Lo, where they labour, like to country slaves,
662
With spade and mattock on this enchanted ground!
663
Now will I call her by another name;
664
For never shall she know herself again,
665
Until that Sacrapant hath breath'd his last.
666
See where she comes.
Enter Delia
667
Come hither, Delia, take this goad; here hard
668
At hand two slaves do work and dig for gold:
669
Gore them with this, and thou shalt have enough.
He gives her a goad.
Delia
670
Good sir, I know not what you mean.
Sacrapant
671
[aside.]
She hath forgotten to be Delia,
672
But not forgot the same she should forget;
673
But I will change her name. –
674
Fair Berecynthia, so this country calls you,
675
Go ply these strangers, wench; they dig for gold.
Exit Sacrapant.
Delia
676
O heavens, how
677
Am I beholding to this fair young man!
678
But I must ply these strangers to their work:
679
See where they come.
Enter the Two Brothers in their shirts, with spades, digging
1 Brother
680
O brother, see where Delia is!
2 Brother
681
O Delia,
682
Happy are we to see thee here!
Delia
683
What tell you me of Delia, prating swains?
684
I know no Delia, nor know I what you mean.
685
Ply you your work, or else you are like to smart.
1 Brother
686
Why, Delia, know'st thou not thy brothers here?
687
We come from Thessaly to seek thee forth;
688
And thou deceiv'st thyself, for thou art Delia.
Delia
689
Yet more of Delia? Then take this, and smart.
[Pricks them with the goad.]
690
What feign you shifts for to defer your labour?
691
Work, villains, work; it is for gold you dig.
2 Brother
692
Peace, brother, peace: this vild enchanter
693
Hath ravish'd Delia of her senses clean,
694
And she forgets that she is Delia.
1 Brother
695
Leave, cruel thou, to hurt the miserable. –
696
Dig, brother, dig, for she is hard as steel.
Here they dig, and descry the light under a little hill.
2 Brother
697
Stay, brother; what hast thou descried?
Delia
698Away, and touch it not; it is something
699that my lord hath hidden there.
She covers it again.
Enter Sacrapant
Sacrapant
700
Well said ! thou plyest these pioneers well. –
701
Go get you in, you labouring slaves.
[Exeunt the Two Brothers.]
702
Come, Berecynthia, let us in likewise,
703
And hear the nightingale record her notes.
Exeunt omnes.
Enter Zantippa, the curst daughter, to the Well with a pot in her hand
Zantippa
704Now for a husband, house, and home:
705God send a good one or none, I pray God!
706My father hath sent me to the well for the
707water of life, and tells me, if I give fair words,
708I shall have a husband.
Enter [Celanta,] the foul wench, to the Well for water with a pot in her hand
709But here comes Celanta, my sweet sister. I'll
710stand by and hear what she says.
Celanta
711My father hath sent me to the well for
712water, and he tells me, if I speak fair, I shall
713have a husband, and none of the worst. Well,
714though I am black, I am sure all the world
715will not forsake me; and, as the old proverb
716is, though I am black, I am not the devil.
Zantippa
717Marry-gup with a murrain, I know
718wherefore thou speakest that: but go thy ways
719home as wise as thou cam'st, or I'll set thee
720home with a wanion.
Here she strikes her pitcher against her sister's, and breaks them both, and goes
her way.
Celanta
721I think this be the curstest quean in the
722world. You see what she is, a little fair, but as
723proud as the devil, and the veriest vixen that
724lives upon God's earth. Well, I'll let her alone,
725and go home and get another pitcher, and,
726for all this, get me to the well for water.
Exit.
Enter two Furies out of the Conjurer's cell and lays Huanebango by the Well of Life
[and then exeunt].
Enter Zantippa with a pitcher to the well.
Zantippa
727Once again for a husband; and, in
728faith, Celanta, I have got the start of you; belike
729husbands grow by the well-side. Now my
730father says I must rule my tongue. Why,
731alas, what am I, then? A woman without a
732tongue is as a soldier without his weapon.
733But I'll have my water, and be gone.
Here she offers to dip her pitcher in, and a Head speaks in the well
Head
734
Gently dip, but not too deep,
735
For fear you make the golden beard to weep.
736
Fair maiden, white and red,
737
Stroke me smooth, and comb my head,
738
And thou shalt have some cockell-bread.
Zantippa
739What is this?
ErrorMetrica
740
"Fair maiden, white and red,
741
Comb me smooth, and stroke my head,
742
And thou shalt have some cockell-bread"?
743
"Cockell" callest thou it, boy? Faith, I'll
744
give you cockell-bread.
She breaks her pitcher upon his Head: then it thunders and lightens; and Huanebango
rises up. Huanebango is deaf and cannot hear.
Huanebango
745
Philida, phileridos, pamphilida, florida, flortos:
746
Dub dub-a-dub, bounce, quoth the guns, with a sulphurous huff-snuff:
747
Wak'd with a wench, pretty peat, pretty love, and my sweet pretty pigsnie,
748
Just by thy side shall sit surnamed great Huanebango:
749
Safe in my arms will I keep thee, threat Mars or thunder Olympus.
Zantippa
750[aside.] Foh, what greasy groom
751
have we here? He looks as though he crept out
752
of the backside of the well, and speaks like a
753
drum perish'd at the west end.
Huanebango
754
O, that I might, – but I may not, woe to my destiny therefore! –
755
Kiss that I clasp! but I cannot. Tell me, my destiny, wherefore?
Zantippa
756[aside.] Whoop! now I have my dream.
757Did you never hear so great a wonder as this?
758Three blue beans in a blue bladder, rattle,
759bladder, rattle.
Huanebango
760[aside.] I'll now set my countenance,
761
and to her in prose, it may be, this rimram-ruff
762
is too rude and encounter. – Let me,
763fair lady, if you be at leisure, revel with your
764sweetness, and rail upon that cowardly conjurer,
765that hath cast me, or congealed me
766rather, into an unkind sleep, and polluted my
767carcass.
Zantippa
768[aside.] Laugh, laugh, Zantippa; thou
769
hast thy fortune, a fool and a husband under one.
Huanebango
770Truly, sweetheart, as I seem,
771about some twenty years, the very April of
772mine age.
Zantippa
773[aside.] Why, what a prating ass is this!
Huanebango
774
Her coral lips, her crimson chin,
775
Her silver teeth so white within,
776
Her golden locks, her rolling eye,
777
Her pretty parts, let them go by,
778
Heigh-ho, hath wounded me,
779
That I must die this day to see!
Zantippa
780By Gogs-bone, thou art a flouting
781knave. "Her coral lips, her crimson chin"!
782ka, wilshaw!
Huanebango
783True, my own, and my own because
784mine, and mine because mine, ha, ha! Above
785a thousand pounds in possibility, and things
786fitting thy desire in possession.
Zantippa
787[aside.] The sot thinks I ask of his
788
lands. Lob be your comfort, and cuckold be
789
your destiny! – Hear you, sir; an if you will
790have us, you had best say so betime.
Huanebango
791True, sweetheart, and will royalize
792thy progeny with my pedigree.
Exeunt omnes.
Enter Eumenides, the wandering knight
Eumenides
793
Wretched Eumenides, still unfortunate,
794
Envied by fortune and forlon by fate,
795
Here pine and die, wretched Eumenides,
796
Die in the spring, the April of my age!
797
Here sit thee down, repent what thou hast done:
798
I would to God that it were ne'er begun!
Enter [the Ghost of] Jack
Jack
799You are well overtaken, sir.
Jack
801You are heartily well met, sir.
Eumenides
802Forbear, I say; who is that which
803pincheth me?
Jack
804Trusting in God, good Master Eumenides,
805that you are in so good health as
806all your friends were at the making hereof,
807God give you good morrow, sir! Lack you
808not a neat, handsome, and cleanly young lad,
809about the age of fifteen or sixteen years, that
810can run by your horse, and, for a need, make
811your mastership's shoes as black as ink? How
812say you, sir?
Eumenides
813Alas, pretty lad, I know not how to
814keep myself, and much less a servant, my
815pretty boy; my state is so bad.
Jack
816Content yourself, you shall not be
817so ill a master but I'll be as bad a servant.
818Tut, sir, I know you, though you know not
819me. Are not you the man, sir, – deny it if
820you can, sir, – that came from a strange
821place in the land of Catita, where Jack-an-apes
822flies with his tail in his mouth, to seek out a
823lady as white as snow and as red as blood? Ha,
824ha! have I touched you now?
Eumenides
825[aside.] I think this boy be a spirit.
826– How know'st thou all this?
Jack
827Tut, are not you the man, sir, –
828deny it if you can, sir, – that gave all the
829money you had to the burying of a poor man,
830and but one three-half-pence left in your
831purse? Content you, sir, I'll serve you, that is
832flat.
Eumenides
833Well, my lad, since thou art so importunate,
834I am content to entertain thee, not
835as a servant, but copartner in my journey.
836But whither shall we go? for I have not any
837money more than one bare three-half-pence.
Jack
838Well, master, content yourself, for
839if my divination be not out, that shall be
840spent at the next inn or alehouse we come
841to: for, master, I know you are passing hungry;
842therefore I'll go before and provide dinner until
843that you come; no doubt but you'll come fair
844and softly after.
Eumenides
845Ay, go before; I'll follow thee.
Jack
846But do you hear, master? Do you
847know my name?
Eumenides
848No, I promise thee, not yet.
Exit [Ghost of] Jack.
Eumenides
850Jack! Why, be it so, then.
Enter the Hostess and Jack, setting meat on the table; and Fiddlers come to play.
Eumenides walketh up and down, and will eat no meat.
Hostess
851How say you, sir? Do you please to
852sit down?
Eumenides
853Hostess, I thank you, I have no great
854stomach.
Hostess
855Pray, sir, what is the reason your
856master is so strange? Doth not this meat please
857him?
Jack
858Yes, hostess, but it is my master's
859fashion to pay before he eats; therefore, a
860reckoning, good hostess.
Hostess
861Marry, shall you, sir, presently.
Exit.
Eumenides
862Why, Jack, what dost thou mean?
863Thou knowest I have not any money; therefore,
864sweet Jack, tell me, what shall I do?
Jack
865Well, master, look in your purse.
Eumenides
866Why, faith, it is a folly, for I have no
867money.
Jack
868Why, look you, master; do so much
869for me.
Eumenides
870
[looking into his purse.] Alas, Jack,
871my purse is full of money!
Jack
872"Alas," master! does that word belong
873to this accident? Why, methinks I should
874have seen you cast away your cloak, and in
875a bravado danced a galliard round about
876the chamber. Why, master, your man can
877teach you more wit than this.
[Re-enter Hostess]
878Come, hostess, cheer up my master.
Hostess
879You are heartily welcome; and if it
880please you to eat of a fat capon, a fairer
881bird, a finer bird, a sweeter bird, a crisper
882bird, a neater bird, your worship never eat of.
Eumenides
883Thanks, my fine, eloquent hostess.
Jack
884But hear you, master, one word by
885the way. Are you content I shall be halves
886in all you get in your journey?
Eumenides
887I am, Jack, here is my hand.
Jack
888Enough, master, I ask no more.
Eumenides
889Come, hostess, receive your money;
890and I thank you for my good entertain-
891ment.
[Gives money.]
Hostess
892You are heartily welcome, sir.
Eumenides
893Come, Jack, whither go we now?
Jack
894Marry, master, to the conjurer's
895presently.
Eumenides
896Content, Jack. – Hostess, farewell.
Exeunt omnes.
Enter Corebus [blind], and Celanta, the foul wench, to the Well for water
Corebus
897Come, my duck, come: I have now got
898a wife. Thou art fair, art thou not?
Celanta
899My Corebus, the fairest alive; make
900no doubt of that.
Corebus
901Come, wench, are we almost at the well?
Celanta
902Ay, Corebus, we are almost at the well
903now. I'll go fetch some water; sit down while
904I dip my pitcher in.
Voice
905
Gently dip, but not too deep,
906
For fear you make the golden beard to weep.
A Head comes up with ears of corn, and she combs them in her lap
907
Fair maiden, white and red,
908
Comb me smooth, and stroke my head,
909
And thou shalt have some cockell-bread.
[2 Voice.]
910
Gently dip, but not too deep,
911
For fear thou make the golden beard to weep.
A [Second] Head comes up full of gold; she combs it into her lap
912
Fair maid, white and red,
913
Comb me smooth, and stroke my head,
914
And every hair a sheaf shall be,
915
And every sheaf a golden tree.
Celanta
916O, see, Corebus, I have comb'd a great
917deal of gold into my lap, and a great deal of
918corn!
Corebus
919Well said, wench! now we shall have
920just enough. God send us coiners to coin our
921gold. But come, shall we go home, sweetheart?
Celanta
922Nay, come, Corebus, I will lead you.
Corebus
923
So, Corebus, things have well hit;
924
Thou hast gotten wealth to mend thy wit.
Exeunt.
Enter [the Ghost of] Jack and [Eumenides] the wandering knight
Jack
925Come away, master, come.
Eumenides
926Go along, Jack, I'll follow thee. Jack,
927they say it is good to go cross-legged, and say
928his prayers backward; how sayest thou?
Jack
929Tut, never fear, master; let me alone.
930Here sit you still; speak not a word; and
931because you shall not be enticed with his enchanting
932speeches, with this same wool I'll
933stop your ears: and so, master, sit still, for I
934must to the conjurer.
Exit [Ghost of] Jack.
Enter [Sacrapant] the Conjurer to the wandering knight
Sacrapant
935
How now! What man art thou that sits so sad?
936
Why dost thou gaze upon these stately trees
937
Without the leave and will of Sacrapant?
938
What, not a word but mum? Then, Sacrapant,
939
Thou art betray'd.
Enter [the Ghost of] Jack invisible, and taketh off Sacrapant's wreath from his head,
and his sword out of his hand
940
What hand invades the head of Sacrapant?
941
What hateful Fury doth envy my happy state?
942
Then, Sacrapant, these are thy latest days.
943
Alas, my veins are numb'd, my sinews shrink.
944
My blood is pierc'd, my breath fleeting away,
945
And now my timeless date is come to end!
946
He in whose life his actions hath been so foul,
947
Now in his death to hell descends his soul.
He dieth.
Jack
948O, sir, are you gone? Now I hope
949we shall have some other coil. – Now, master,
950how like you this? The conjurer he is
951dead, and vows never to trouble us more. Now
952get you to your fair lady, and see what you can
953do with her. – Alas, he heareth me not all this
954while; but I will help that.
He pulls the wool out of his ears.
Eumenides
955How now, Jack? What news?
Jack
956Here, master, take this sword, and
957dig with it at the foot of this hill.
He digs, and spies a light [in a glass].
Eumenides
958How now, Jack? What is this?
Jack
959Master, without this the conjurer
960could do nothing; and so long as this light
961lasts, so long doth his art endure, and this
962being out, then doth his art decay.
Eumenides
963Why, then, Jack, I will soon put out
964this light.
Eumenides
966Why, with a stone I'll break the glass,
967and then blow it out.
Jack
968No, master, you may as soon break
969the smith's anvil as this little vial; nor the
970biggest blast that ever Boreas blew cannot
971blow out this little light; but she that is neither
972maid, wife, nor widow. Master, wind this horn,
973and see what will happen.
He winds the horn. Here enters Venelia, and breaks the glass, and blows out the light,
and goeth in again.
974So, master, how like you this? This is she that
975ran madding in the woods, his betrothed
976love that keeps the cross; and now, this light
977being out, all are restored to their former
978liberty. And now, master, to the lady that
979you have so long looked for.
He draweth a curtain, and there Delia sitteth asleep
Eumenides
980God speed, fair maid, sitting
981alone, – there is once. God speed, fair maid,
982– there is twice. God speed, fair maid, – that
983is thrice.
Delia
984Not so, good sir, for you are by.
Jack
985Enough, master, she hath spoke;
986now I will leave her with you.
[Exit.]
Eumenides
987
Thou fairest flower of these western parts,
988
Whose beauty so reflecteth in my sight
989
As doth a crystal mirror in the sun;
990
For thy sweet sake I have cross'd the frozen Rhine;
991
Leaving fair Po, I sail'd up Danuby
992
As far as Saba, whose enhancing streams
993
Cuts twixt the Tartars and the Russians;
994
These have I cross'd for thee, fair Delia:
995
Then grant me that which I have su'd for long.
Delia
996
Thou gentle knight, whose fortune is so good
997
To find me out and set my brothers free,
998
My faith, my heart, my hand I give to thee.
Eumenides
999Thanks, gentle madam; but here
1000comes Jack; thank him, for he is the best
1001friend that we have.
Enter [the Ghost of] Jack, with a head in his hand
1002How now, Jack! What hast thou there?
Jack
1003Marry, master, the head of the conjurer.
Eumenides
1004Why, Jack, that is impossible;
1005he was a young man.
Jack
1006Ah, master, so he deceived them that
1007beheld him! But he was a miserable, old, and
1008crooked man, though to each man's eye he
1009seemed young and fresh; for, master,
1010this conjurer took the shape of the old man
1011that kept the cross, and that old man was in
1012the likeness of the conjurer. But now, master,
1013wind your horn.
He winds his horn. Enter Venelia, the Two Brothers, and [Erestus] he that was at the
cross
Eumenides
1014
Welcome, Erestus! welcome fair Venelia!
1015
Welcome, Thelea and Calypha both!
1016
Now have I her that I so long have sought;
1017
So saith fair Delia, if we have your consent.
1 Brother
1018
Valiant Eumenides, thou well deservest
1019
To have our favours; so let us rejoice
1020
That by thy means we are at liberty.
1021
Here may we joy each in other's sight,
1022
And this fair lady have her wandering knight.
Jack
1023So, master, now ye think you have
1024done; but I must have a saying to you.
1025You know you and I were partners, I to have
1026half in all you got.
Eumenides
1027Why, so thou shalt, Jack.
Jack
1028Why, then, master, draw your sword,
1029part your lady, let me have half of her
1030presently.
Eumenides
1031Why, I hope, Jack, thou dost but jest.
1032I promised thee half I got, but not half my
1033lady.
Jack
1034But what else, master? Have
1035you not gotten her? Therefore divide her
1036straight, for I will have half; there is no
1037remedy.
Eumenides
1038Well, ere I will falsify my word unto
1039my friend, take her all. Here, Jack, I'll
1040give her thee.
Jack
1041Nay, neither more nor less, master,
1042but even just half.
Eumenides
1043Before I will falsify my faith unto my
1044friend, I will divide her. Jack, thou shalt
1045have half.
1 Brother
1046Be not so cruel unto our sister, gentle
1047knight.
2 Brother
1048O, spare fair Delia! She deserves np
1049death.
Eumenides
1050Content yourselves; my word is passed
1051to him. – Therefore prepare thyself, Delia, for
1052thou must die.
Delia
1053Then farewell, world! Adieu, Eumenides!
He offers to strike, and [the Ghost of ] Jack stays him
Jack
1054Stay, master; it is sufficient
1055I have tried your constancy. Do you now
1056remember since you paid for the burying of a
1057poor fellow?
Eumenides
1058Ay, very well, Jack.
Jack
1059Then, master, thank that good
1060deed for this good turn; and so God be with
1061you all!
[The Ghost of] Jack leaps down in the ground.
Eumenides
1062
Jack, what, art thou gone? Then farewell, Jack! –
1063
Come, brothers, and my beauteous Delia,
1064
Erestus, and thy dear Venelia,
1065
We will to Thessaly with joyful hearts.
All
1066Agreed: we follow thee and Delia.
Exeunt omnes [except Frolic, Fantastic, and Madge]
Fantastic
1067What, gammer, asleep?
Madge
1068By the mass, son, 't is almost day;
1069and my windows shuts at the cock's-crow.
Frolic
1070Do you hear, gammer? Methinks this
1071Jack bore a great sway amongst them.
Madge
1072O, man, this was the ghost of the
1073poor man that they kept such a coil to bury;
1074and that makes him to help the wandering
1075knight so much. But come, let us in: we
1076we will have a cup of ale and a toast this morning,
1077and so depart.
Fantastic
1078Then you have made an end of your
1079tale, gammer?
Madge
1080Yes, faith: when this was done, I
1081took a piece of bread and cheese, and came my
1082way; and so shall you have, too, before you go,
1083to your breakfast.
[Exeunt.]
FINIS
