Madness in Valencia

Texto utilizado para esta edición digital:
Vega Carpio, Lope de. Madness in Valencia. Translated by David Johnston with an introduction by Isabel Torres. London: Oberon Books, 1998.

Marcación digital para Artelope:

Barreda Villafranca, Cristina (Artelope)

Characters

FLORIANO

VALERIO

ERIFILA

LEONATO

PISANO

MARTÍN

THOMAS

FEDRA

LAIDA

LIBERTO

SANCHO

VERINO

BELARDO, a madman

MORDACHO, a madman

MADMEN

Act I

Scene 1

A wood on the outskirts of Valencia, beside the city’s famous madhouse.

FLORIANO

Valerio, I’m over here.

VALERIO

I came as quickly as I could,

as soon as your message arrived.

FLORIANO

It took me four days to get here,

riding hard from Zaragoza,

with the devil himself behind me.

VALERIO

Your face is the colour of death.

FLORIANO

There was no one else I could trust...

you’re the only friend I’ve got left.

VALERIO

Tell me for God’s sake what you’ve done.

FLORIANO

I...

VALERIO

What?

FLORIANO

I...

VALERIO

You what?

FLORIANO

I... ah... killed

VALERIO

Holy God in heaven! Murdered?

You mean you’ve murdered someone? Who?

FLORIANO

A man... are you sure we’re alone?

VALERIO

Positive. Tell me, who was it?

FLORIANO

A man who’de’ve destroyed me if...

VALERIO

Floriano, stand still, will you,

there’s not a soul for miles around,

except the crazed creatures in there.

FLORIANO

Try and put yourself in my place,

every rustle, every murmur...

VALERIO

Calm down and tell me who it was.

FLORIANO

They’ll be scouring the whole country,

I can’t even trust my own shadow.

VALERIO

You’re in a worse state than your victim...

you’re a mess of nerves.

FLORIANO

I panicked.

I stole a horse and we bolted

from Zaragoza to Valencia,

down lonely country tracks and lanes,

begging bread from the odd goatherd,

though I’ve been hungry for four days.

That’s what happened. In a nutshell.

VALERIO

Let’s see if we can crack the nut.

Who was it?

FLORIANO

If I’m seen, I’m dead.

VALERIO

Some gentleman? No... not a priest?

FLORIANO

In God’s name, I swear I don’t know.

VALERIO

Then, my friend, you are dead indeed,

for if you refuse to trust me

and keep on playing foolish games...

FLORIANO

All right, I’ll tell you who it was...

He was a nobleman... a prince,

a sort of prince.

VALERIO

What sort of prince?

FLORIANO

Prince Reinero...

VALERIO

Reinero! He’s...

FLORIANO

I know... tenth in line to the throne.

I’ve had four days to work it out.

VALERIO

They’ll hunt you to the ends of the earth,

Like hounds close down a fox.

FLORIANO

Thank you.

I knew I could rely on you.

VALERIO

God knows, if I could give my life

four yours, then you’d be a free man.

If I could bring him back to life

with the love that I have for you...

but your sin is against God and man.

Though danger can sharpen the wits

And invention may save you yet.

We must think.

(Silence.)

How dit it happen?

How did you get past all those guards?

FLORIANO

Let’s get one thing clear – I killed him.

I did not assassinate him!

It was bad luck, sheer misfortune

that brought him and me face to face

in the house of a certain lady...

Celia... she’s got the loveliest eyes...

VALERIO

More blood’s been spilt for the sake of love

than in all man’s battles and wars.

FLORIANO

Believe me, I’d no taste for blood...

I just wanted to get away,

but he flew into a fury

and would listen to no reason.

There were two guards waiting outside

and he set them on me like dogs.

I ran into a narrow lane

and he came thundering after me.

I knew that I was about to die

and with the courage of the dead

I drew my sword and turned round.

His guards had no room to get past,

and I ran my sword through his arm,

and plunged it clean into his heart.

He fell like an ox at slaughter.

VALERIO

You’re absolutely sure he’s dead?

FLORIANO

I drove my sword in to the hilt

and felt his blood run down my wrist.

Then I turned on my heels and ran,

thanking God for my good fortune,

for to stay would have tempted fate,

and I heard a voice crying out:

‘You’ll not escape us, you bastard;

This is no ordinary man you’ve killed,

but Reinero, a grandee of Spain.’

My blood froze, though thank God not my feet,

and long before the cold dawn broke

I’d put ten miles between them and me.

Fear can be the cruellest, sharpest spur.

VALERIO

There’s no telling where they might be,

they could be as far north as France

or as far south as hot Seville.

FLORIANO

Or waiting round the next corner.

VALERIO

There’s nowhere in Spain you are safe,

100

and there is no easy escape.

Your sword is bigger than your brain.

God damn your recklessness in love!

I’m being pulled in all directions...

a thousand possibilities

105

and not a hope that’s hard and fast.

How can I keep a king at bay?

How could I hope to shelter you

in a town full of prying eyes?

There’s nowhere you won’t create a stir.

110

Unless... unless... the asylum!

Could you pretend to have gone mad,

you know, ranting, raving, so on,

so that they take you for a loony?

FLORIANO

Do you think I’m not already?

115

But I’ll not have any madhouse,

I’ve seen the wretches they torture there.

VALERIO

There’s an asylum in Valencia

as famous as the world is wide,

where all sorts of fits and frenzies

120

are treated and cured with science.

If you go into the madhouse

Your enemies will think you dead.

FLORIANO

In rags, in dirt, amongst the mad...

VALERIO

I think you may well benefit,

125

and besides, it’s your only hope.

FLORIANO

Valerio, you’ve saved my life!

I’ll rant and rave to such effect,

even you will doubt my sanity.

VALERIO

Just act as though you were in love.

130

What greater madness is there?

Scene 2

Enter ERIFILA and LEONATO, both dressed in travelling clothes.

LEONATO

Thank God, Valencia is last,

the city of love and war.

You can see the walls over there,

and the banks of the Turia

135

as it flows down towards the sea.

Perhaps we can find some peace here,

a bed to lie down together.

ERIFILA

Everywhere looks so green and lush.

LEONATO

They call this the orchard of Spain,

140

a place for our love to grow green.

FLORIANO

Do you know them?

VALERIO

No, they’re strangers.

Let’s go.

FLORIANO

God, you don’t think that they’re...

VALERIO

They’re a pair of lovers, that’s all,

as mad as you in their own way.

145

Let’s get you to the asylum.

I know the administrator.

He has a house within the grounds.

Scene 3

ERIFILA

This is a paradise.

LEONATO

Maybe.

ERIFILA

I feel so free, so fortunate,

150

so far away from my father.

Do you think he’ll come after us?

LEONATO

He’ll wash his hands of us for ever,

and do what all gentlefolk do.

Try to silence the wagging tongues,

155

say you’re no longer his daughter

and that his servant betrayed him.

ERIFILA

If he knew how much I loved you,

then he would say that I was crazed.

LEONATO reacts angrily to this final word.

LEONATO

Then perhaps it is a madness.

160

You and I lived in different worlds.

I beg you, choose your words with care,

for the love that I have for you

makes me equal to any man.

I’m not longer just your servant.

ERIFILA

165

I’ve never thought of you like that!

LEONATO

Careless words betray a doubting heart.

ERIFILA

Tell me, what have my words betrayed?

LEONATO

Your every word, your silences, speak eloquently of regret.

ERIFILA

I’ve given you my soul, my life,

170

the two dearest things I possess,

I gave them willingly to you.

How can you take offence from that,

and how can you talk of madness?

LEONATO

It was you spoke of being crazed.

175

The servant and his master’s daughter.

That’s not love... it’s a laughing stock.

ERIFILA

Have you suddenly become less?

I fell in love with a servant

because you were my father’s servant.

180

But my eyes saw you as you were

and I love you now as you are.

LEONATO

What could you see? Contempt, disdain...

All these things are invisible.

Buy I lived them, day in, day out.

185

Contempt, disdain, in every look,

in every word that’s been uttered.

ERIFILA

You’re the one who’s crazy.

LEONATO

Crazy?

Because I stand up for myself?

ERIFILA

Stand up for yourself against what?

190

What imaginary offence?

That it was madness to run away?

That I was crazed with love for you?

LEONATO

I can hear what’s behind those words

and I can see what’s in your heart.

ERIFILA

195

Who better to read it than you?

It is yours through love and reason.

But if all you seek is an excuse

to leave me here alone, then go.

LEONATO

You pour insult upon insult.

200

You call your love ‘a mere madness’

and you think me a man of no shame

who’d abandon you in this wood.

I said choose your words with great care.

ERIFILA

I don’t know you, Leonato.

205

Dark thoughts have taken hold of you

and blinded you to who I am.

LEONATO

Disdain for disdain, my lady.

I’ve come to my senses at last.

ERIFILA

Did I ever say you’d lost them?

LEONATO

210

Yes.

ERIFILA

No, I didn’t!

LEONATO

Yes, you did!

ERIFILA

Take that back, because it’s not true.

LEONATO

What’s a servant but a liar.

If you had loved me, as you claim,

you would have slept and lain with me,

215

not whined on about your honour,

about what you call your honour.

And my tears and pleas fell like seed

on the hard ground of your dead heart.

You say you saw me and loved me?

220

You’ve never looked at anyone

in your life; your eyes are as blind

as your heart is cold.

ERIFILA

My honour

is a precious to me as life,

and until you are my husband

225

it remains mine and mine alone.

I’ve given you no excuses

and I’ll accept no reproaches.

What if I had lain down with you?

Where would you have been the next day?

230

Like all men, your pleas come easy,

easy come just as easy go.

LEONATO

Desire pays no heed to honour

and the fire that burns before

is only fanned all the more by love;

235

your excuse? You didn’t trust me.

A fiction, a fantasy, a lie.

There’s not a single word you’ve said

that’s not been rotten through and through.

Tell me I’m wrong, that you love me,

240

that your airs and graces, your contempt,

are a figment of my dark thoughts.

ERIFILA

You’re a fool.

LEONATO

I’ve been made a fool.

ERIFILA

If I’d taken you for a fool,

if my love were as false as you say,

245

would I have left my parents’hourse,

left my city, risked everything?

LEONATO

It was hatred not love brought you here.

Hatred for your parents, for your home,

not love for a simple servant.

ERIFILA

250

Hatred? Why? I hated on one.

Was life at home so hard for me,

and my own beauty so lacking

that I had to seek a match in you?

I could’ve married a thousand times.

255

My parents would have wept for joy.

But I chose you. We’ve said harsh words.

They will make our love grow stronger

if we can force them from our minds.

LEONATO

Then let us force them from our minds.

260

(Silence.)

Where are the jewels?

ERIFILA

What jewels?

LEONATO

The ones that you had in your bag.

I need them to pay for an inn.

ERIFILA

You mean that we’ve no money left?

LEONATO

Not a peseta.

ERIFILA

Sell this then.

LEONATO

265

I want them all.

ERIFILA

All of them?

LEONATO

Now.

ERIFILA

How do I know that you’ll come back?

LEONATO

You’ll pay for that insult, my lady.

ERIFILA

I’m not your lady, I love you!

You don’t have to steal my jewels.

270

They belong to you already,

Like everything else that is mine.

Your are my husband.

LEONATO

No I’m not!

Give me the jewels, lying bitch.

ERIFILA

Why are you doing this to me?

LEONATO

275

Give them to me or I’ll kill you.

He unsheaths a dagger.

ERIFILA

You’re showing your true colours now.

LEONATO

All of them!

ERIFILA

There aren’t any more.

Put it away.

LEONATO

It’s gone.

(He sheaths the dagger.)

Your cloak.

ERIFILA

My cloak, what for?

LEONATO

Stay calm.

ERIFILA

Stay calm!

LEONATO

280

Another word and I’ll kill you.

ERIFILA

You’d kill me for speaking? You are mad!

He unsheaths the dagger.

LEONATO

Your cloak.

ERIFILA

Don’t hurt me.

LEONATO

Then don’t speak.

(He sheaths the dagger.)

Now take off the rest of your clothes.

ERIFILA

My clothes?

LEONATO

Take them off.

ERIFILA

No, please don’t...

LEONATO

285

By Christ, I said another word

and I’d cut you from arse to tit!

He unsheaths the dagger.

ERIFILA

I feel sick!

LEONATO

Stop pretending!

ERIFILA

Please!

He looks at her with contempt.

LEONATO

I wouldn’t waste my strength on you.

What’s it like to have nothing?

290

What’s like to feel ashamed?

He makes to leave.

ERIFILA

You can’t leave me here like this?

LEONATO

No?

ERIFILA

Then kill me, I don’t give a damn.

LEONATO

That would be too easy for you.

ERIFILA

Bastard! Bastard! Wait for me... please.

LEONATO

295

What is there for me to wait for?

LEONATO disappears, leaving ERIFILA standing naked in the clearing.

Scene 4

ERIFILA

What else could I have expected?

He’s gone, left me here high and dry.

What in God’s name am I to do now,

alone in a strange country

300

with no money and no name,

not even a shirt for my back?

Treacherous coward! Brute! Pig!

God knows, he was always a coward.

A servant with a servant’s soul.

305

But he was a cunning bastard

and I really thought I had him fooled,

that I was besotted with him,

that I couldn’t wait another day

before leaving my loving parents

310

with him. He was right. Who was he?

The vile servant of a hard father

who wanted his daughter married,

who talked and thought of nothing else.

I’m a thousand times better off

315

here than ther, married to my cousin.

At least he took only my clothes.

How can I go anywhere like this?

I told him I was mad for him,

that I could think of nothing else;

320

for years I’ve thought of my escape,

for years I thought of nothing else,

and now I can’t think for myself.

If I stay here, I’ll go insane.

She hears voices and hides.

Scene 5

Enter VALERIO, PISANO, MARTIN and THOMAS. ERIFILA has hidden.

PISANO

He’s certainly in a bad way;

325

ranting and raving, furious,

snarling at his own shadow,

reciting speeches from Shakespeare

and spewing white foam from his mouth

like a hungry dog in a butcher’s.

VALERIO

330

He couldn’t be in better hands.

PISANO

You’ve seen the administrator?

He’ll have told you how advanced

Valencian medicine is

when it comes to treating loonies.

VALERIO

335

I’m not sure about medicines.

Perhaps we should just wait and see.

PISANO

Personally, I’d have him locked up.

We keep twenty wooden cages

with cleaner straw than any inn.

340

That’s where we put the wilder ones.

For their own good, you understand.

VALERIO

He’ll calm down when the full moon wanes.

If he finds himself locked away

he’ll fall into melancholy

345

and be dead before the night’s out.

Let him move freely with the rest

of the poor innocents that live here.

PISANO

You’ll assume responsibility?

VALERIO

Fully.

PISANO

Name?

VALERIO

Orlando.

PISANO

That’s it?

VALERIO

350

His family name is... Furioso.

PISANO

Orlando Furioso...

That has a familiar ring.

Where’s he from?

VALERIO

From Italy.

A dangerously hot-blooded race.

PISANO

355

Well he was ranting in Spanish.

VALERIO

Remarkable, The gift of tongues.

His mother was Spanish, I think.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

If they see me like this, I’m lost.

They’ll have me in a cage with him.

PISANO

360

His profession?

VALERIO

Scholar and critic.

PISANO

Of philosophy?

VALERIO

Of plays.

PISANO

Ah!

I’ve know other cases like his.

VALERIO

There’s an added complication.

Love.

PISANO

A sorry combination.

365

Actors tend to addle the brains

while Cupid enrages the heart.

VALERIO

It’s no wonder wise men counsel

that we treat love and books like the plague.

PISANO

In all things, great moderation.

370

Here we study the roots of madness:

the lack of food that starves the brain,

the moon that crazes human reason,

excessive devotion to books,

the blind pursuit of the passions

375

(of which love and masturbation

Are thye most dangerous by far).

Look at these two for example.

VALERIO

What about them?

PISANO

They were scholars

who wrote all sorts of treatises

380

and learned works on things obscure:

philosophy, astronomy,

and dreams of impossible things.

They teetered on the edge of sanity

for years in their university...

385

Then one day they both fell in love...

VALERIO

With each other?

PISANO

With the same girl.

Two weeks later they were in here.

We had them locked up for a year,

to calm their blood. Now they work well.

390

We even let them go into town

to beg for alms. Thomas, come here.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

How can I get away from here?

PISANO

(Patting THOMAS on the head.)

Well, son, what have you got to say?

THOMAS

I was my father’s son all right.

395

He’s dead and gone... who does that leave me?

PISANO

Martin, do you know who you are?

MARTIN

Yes, but I don’t want him to hear...

He believes he’s Don Quijote,

just a character in a book.

400

I should know... didn’t I write it?

VALERIO

Martin thinks that he’s Cervantes?

PISANO

Who?

MARTIN

There’s a woman over there!

THOMAS

Sweet Dulcinea awaits me!

MARTIN

I wrote the book! That means she’s mine,

405

I’m going to make you a donkey!

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

There’s only one way out of this...

(She emerges clad in leaves.)

Help me, God in heaven! Justice!

MARTIN and THOMAS knell.

THOMAS

Dulcinea!

MARTIN

Sweet forest nymph!

Do you fancy a parti in a book?

ERIFILA

410

Oh kind sirs, help me, I beg you.

A poor maiden in deep distress

who has beed robbed of her jewels

and her clothes and left here for dead.

PISANO

Then we have arrived just in time.

VALERIO

415

I swear I took her for an inmate.

ERIFILA

Scarcely had I come to this fair place

when a highwayman, a bandit

set about me.

THOMAS

My poor lady!

ERIFILA

What?

THOMAS

Stand still I beg you.

ERIFILA

What for?

THOMAS

420

So that I may do you homage.

My knightly pursuits demand it.

ERIFILA

I had enough nightly pursuits

from Leonato. Get off me!

PISANO

No, she’s not an inmate of ours

425

though I’m quite sure she soon will be.

Such intemperance!

ERIFILA

Can you blame me?

(To VALERIO.)

Kind sir, you are a gentleman,

and can see the distress I am in.

Everything I had has been taken.

MARTIN

430

Even her brainpan’s been ransacked.

ERIFILA

My jewels were worth a fortune,

a king’s ransom in emeralds.

PISANO

That’s it: that’s the locus dementis.

‘Every wiseman hath his problem,

435

every madman his obsession.’

It holds true of madwomen too.

THOMAS

Who’s Leonato? Your lover?

ERIFILA

I’d kill any man said he was.

THOMAS

Harsh words spoken to your sworn knight,

440

one who lives and breathes for his lady.

PISANO

Thomas!

MARTIN

Does she know who you are?

ERIFILA

He doesn’t even know who he is!

MARTIN

I’ll have her after.

ERIFILA

You’ll do what?

If you were knights or gentlemen,

445

one of you would give me a cape

so that I may cover myself

and be on my way.

PISANO

She’s cunning.

At times she seems to reason well,

but the source of her madness is clear.

450

Grab her!

ERIFILA

Grab me? What have I done?

PISANO

Go on, grab her!

ERIFILA

You try it, knight,

and you’ll never right another wrong.

THOMAS

Moorish whore! Prison for you!

ERIFILA

Prison? Why prison in God’s name?

455

What have I done to merit this abuse?

There’s not a drop of common sense

among the whole damned crew of you.

PISANO

Take an arm each.

ERIFILA

I came for help,

I told you that I had been robbed...

460

Is this your idea of justice?

What sort of place is Valencia?

PISANO

You’ll come to thank us for this act.

Your tortured mind’s oblivious

to the concern we feel for you.

ERIFILA

465

So why are you kidnapping me

and taking me to a madhouse?

I was robbed! My jewels and my clothes!

PISANO

(To VALERIO.)

The locus dementis... never fails.

(Loudly.)

You must tell that to the doctor.

ERIFILA

470

Would it not make a lot more sense

to arrest the robber and not the robbed?

PISANO

This obsession clearly runs deep.

MARTIN

Giddy up.

ERIFILA

Get your hands off me!

Robbed and imprisoned in one day!

475

I can’t believe this.

The two madmen lead her away.

PISANO

I must go.

We can meet again tomorrow.

VALERIO

Please thak the administrator

on my behalf for his kindness.

Orlando will be much better

480

if he’s not locked away to rot.

He’s not a violent man at all

and his fury will soon subside.

ERIFILA

(Shouting, off.)

Try that once more and I’ll split your head!

VALERIO

Compared to that demented creature...

PISANO

485

I haven’t met a loony yet

who isn’t violent at full moon.

And we’ve discovered something else,

through scientific observation;

MARTIN cries out in pain, off.

they all have the strength of ten men.

VALERIO

490

Fascinating.

PISANO

The first sign and...

VALERIO

Then you must do as you see fit.

Exit PISANO.

Scene 6

VALERIO

Fortune’s made me its fool today

and brought me to the gates of death.

Filled with fear, I took Floriano

495

into the very pit of hell,

a sane man into the madhouse.

But it’s the madman who comes out.

When I saw her, that strange woman,

I felt my senses drain and fill.

500

I don’t know if I’ve los my mind

or even if I’ve one left to lose.

I’ve never seen such perfection;

she wounded my eyes, then my heart,

and I could do nothing but stare,

505

not knowing if she was an angel

or a woman of flesh and blood.

And I let them take her away.

The fool stood in simple silence

when he should have defended her,

510

offered her help, refuge, a home.

I am a witless oaf, a coward,

for my soul tells me she is sane,

for if she’s not, I’m the madman.

The lover mirrors the beloved,

515

that much is clear to all who love.

I have to see her again to test

the evidence of my senses.

But if I return to that place,

then they’ll have me in their cages

520

to cleanse this madness from my soul.

Scene 7

The asylum yard. FEDRA and LAIDA appear.

FEDRA

Tell me, just what’s so important

that it couldn’t wait till later?

Dragging me down to this cold yard,

with all the loonies watching us.

LAIDA

525

It’s not my fault... it’s a madness

within my soul... a joy... a rage.

Now the administrator’s gone out...

FEDRA

What’s my uncle to do with this?

LAIDA

He’s been a good master to me

530

but if he knew I was in love...

I brought you down here to see him.

FEDRA

No, Laida... it’s not one of them?

A loony? Madness is contagious.

LAIDA

Love knows no measure or restraint,

535

otherwise it would not be love.

FEDRA

And you feel love for a madman?

LAIDA

Love sees beyond the sight of eyes.

FEDRA

He’s sucked your brains dry already.

If you had brains in the first place,

540

which I doubt.

LAIDA

He seemed sane to me;

it wasn’t anything he said.

He stood there in total silence,

and in that silence touched my heart.

FEDRA

How can silence move you to love?

LAIDA

545

Any beautiful object can...

a lovely painting or a book.

He was as lovely as marble.

FEDRA

Then there’s no hope for you, Laida.

You’re in love with a raving fool.

LAIDA

550

I told you, Fedra, he doesn’t rave;

he just stood in silence and stared.

FEDRA

Because he thinks he’s made of stone.

LAIDA

The most beautiful stone, Fedra.

FEDRA

I feel sorry for you.

LAIDA

Don’t be.

FEDRA

555

Does he fly into mad furies?

LAIDA

With the moon, and next full moon time

I’ll share in his fury with him,

for my love grows kike his fury

under the sun of his beauty.

FEDRA

560

You’re as mad as your marble statue,

him and his moon, you and your sun.

A fine pair. Where’s your idiot from?

LAIDA

From Italy... mm... Italy.

FEDRA

I hope this statue speaks Spanish.

LAIDA

565

My lady, how little you know.

Love has made me Italian too!

(She sings.)

La sensazione d’amore!

Scene 8

FLORIANO appers wearing a hospital tunic. He feigns violent madness.

FLORIANO

Chains! Chains! You talk to me of chains!

I am a guest in this castle,

570

a stranger in Valencia.

Well, my false and deceitful host,

do your worst, you’ll not frighten me.

So you’ve changed into a giant;

an old trick, can’t you do better?

575

I could fell you with just one blow!

FEDRA

Sweet God, he’s going to kill us all!

LAIDA

No, wait... something has upset him.

His spirit is gentle and kind.

FEDRA

Laida... he’s mad... crazy... insane.

FLORIANO

580

Good ladies, I wish you no harm;

considerer me at your service.

Please don’t be alarmed, stay here.

I’m not the violent madman you think,

no savage from wild America

585

nor barbarian from the north.

It was love brought me to this place,

love that reduced me to this state.

I am a man I cannot be

and have simply fled from who I was.

590

I have clothed myself in this madness.

I was the most wretched of men,

one who loved a noble lady,

a creature of fire and snow

who inspired love in all around.

595

And in particular in one

who came down to her from heaven,

who turned her head with promises

of glory and of power.

And so I clipped this angel’s wings.

FEDRA

600

Oh Laida!

LAIDA

Oh Fedra!

FLORIANO

He fell

and I took flight and hid my face

in this madness in Valencia.

FEDRA

Your story would cause stones to weep.

FLORIANO

I still walk in fear of my life;

605

my heart pounds with every question;

every day’s a waking nightmare

of gallows, of finding myself

suddenly hanging in mid-air...

of the rack and burning irons.

610

I have poured out my heart to you,

And beg you to keep my secret.

LAIDA

You like him too... it’s in your eyes.

FEDRA

Any woman would be the moon

that inspires this man’s madness.

LAIDA

615

So his madness has touched you too...

FEDRA

But how sane his words seemed to me...

LAIDA

Riddled with obsession and desire.

FEDRA

No, he sopoke with passion, with force.

LAIDA

(Pointedly.)

Yes, mistress.

FEDRA

I’m intrigued...that’s all.

FLORIANO

620

When passion boils into jealousy

then the mind is indeed at risk.

But there are innumerable cures

bequeathed to us by the ancients.

Cool lavender oil on the brain

625

so that its scent dulls the senses;

then a series of slaps to the face.

In more extreme cases, bat’s blood

has been favoured by the doctors

and philosophers of Athens.

630

But if the jealousy is horned,

then there is no cure possible;

even Pan on high Olympus,

for all his pipes and magic ways,

found his jealousy eternal.

635

I too have lived in that abyss.

I tell you: to love is to fear,

to build castles of suspicion,

towers of doubt, from no cause at all.

FEDRA

Does this sound like madness to you?

640

There is a terrible clarity

in everything he has to say.

FLORIANO

My lady, may I beg a token,

a requiescat in pace

for the man I was and have buried?

FEDRA

645

What can I give you?

FLORIANO

Your ribbon,

as a talisman to keep me sane,

a reminder of the bright sun

I saw today in this dark place.

FEDRA

And my ribbon will be all that?

FLORIANO

650

That it comes from you makes of it

a holy grail, my guiding star.

LAIDA

Such nobility of purpose

demands a purple ribbon.

Take mine... it happens to be purple.

FLORIANO

655

I ask for the holy grail

and you offer me a clay cup.

LAIDA

(Aside.)

I was right to be on my guard.

FEDRA

Take this: the ribbon you need is green

for green’s the colour of hope.

LAIDA

660

Remember what you said before,

about madness being contagious?

FEDRA

For heaven’s sake, Laida, you fool,

I’m simply keeping him amused,

putting up with all his nonsense

665

just to keep him under control.

I’ve suffered a thousand deaths here.

LAIDA

Your propriety knows no bounds.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Her beauty is a temptation,

and Celia, what are you for me

670

but a sour and bloody memory?

You betrayed me. I can betray you.

FEDRA

Sweet Jesus... there’s someone coming.

They mustn’t find me here like this!

LAIDA

Oh, no, God forbid. Come with me.

675

You’ve your reputation to think of.

They leave.

FLORIANO

And now the warming sun has gone,

the darkness seems all the blacker.

Think of me, my lovely lady,

when you’ve nothing better to do.

Scene 9

Enter PISANO, THOMAS and MARTIN, dragging ERIFILA behind them.

ERIFILA

680

Why are you doing this to me?

PISANO

That’s enough ranting and raving

or you’ll find yourself in a cage.

You’re as mad as a whore in Lent.

ERIFILA

I was once, I’ll not deny it,

685

but not any more. One more thing.

I’m not a whore. Quite the reverse.

THOMAS

Here’s the chapel. I’ll keep vigil

over my arms and your honour,

my lady. But you must pay a toll.

ERIFILA

690

What?

MARTIN

Otherwise you don’t get in.

ERIFILA

Fine by me.

PISANO

Then you go to jail.

That’s the law in Valencia.

ERIFILA

What am I supposed to pay with?

Didn’t I tell you I was robbed?

MARTIN

695

You either pay or go to jail.

PISANO

I wouldn’t recommend the jail.

They’re not as gentle as we are.

FLORIANO

What’s going on?

MARTIN

Stay out of this.

THOMAS

If you’re a knight, tell me your name

700

and your station.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

I can’t think straight,

though that’s little surprise in here.

I could never survive in jail.

There’s only one choice: I’ll be mad.

PISANO

I’ll speak to the administrator.

705

Stay here... and no funny business.

Aside as he leaves.

Some hope in here.

Scene 10

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

What loveliness!

I’ve never seen such perfection;

her face shines as bright as the sun,

leaving darkness all around her

710

and plunging me in confusion.

THOMAS

You can pay later.

MARTIN

She’ll pay now.

FLORIANO

My very good friends! Er... colleagues.

MARTIN

Do you mean us?

FLORIANO

Indeed I do.

What is it that she has to pay?

THOMAS

715

Her entrance toll.

FLORIANO

I’ll pay for her.

How much do you think this ring is worth?

MARTIN

Let me see it?

THOMAS

It’s a beauty!

MARTIN

I suppose you’ll want it back later,

when she’s given us her money.

FLORIANO

720

You can sell it. And buy some food.

THOMAS

Sir, you are a knight among knignts.

MARTIN

Tonight we’ll have rabbit and wine,

and wine, and some rabbit.

THOMAS

And wine.

THOMAS and MARTIN leave.

Scene 11

ERIFILA

What do you think you’re looking at?

FLORIANO

725

Even the moon and stars stare at you,

such is your beauty. Forgive me.

(Aside.)

If I do not speak to her, I’ll die,

but how can I make her understand.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

He has a fierce look in his eye;

730

I think he might be dangerous,

but I can’t move. Not a muscle.

My fear won’t let me speak to him,

and my will won’t let me run away.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

I look into her eyes and drown.

735

What words can there be between us?

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

What sort of creature then is he?

A blank mind in a perfect form.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

To see such beauty brought so low.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

A cathedral without its roof.

FLORIANO

740

(Aside.)

A delightful chamber empty.

A marble statue with no life

of the spirit or of the mind.

Never was it truer that beauty

is judged by the eye, not the brain.

745

A blank mind in a perfect form.

Such beauty wasted by unreason.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

I don’t think he can be violent;

but what a waste of human form;

a golden chalice full of aire

750

when it could hold the finest wine.

God, I would lose my wits for him.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

The madhouse is a paradise,

and if this angel has fallen

then I’ll fall to earth with her too.

ERIFILA

755

(Aside.)

If only I dared speak to him

but the last vestige of reason

has bound my tongue with iron bands.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

How can the sane worship the mad?

And yet it is love and not death

760

which is the great leveller.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

I’ve just awoken from a dream

and I feel sleep arising again.

I’ve lived my whole life sunk in sleep,

everything has been done in dream.

765

Did I leave my father’s house

without even a backward glance?

Who was it Leonato robbed?

Was it me that cried for vengeance

when a servant proved insulting?

770

My mind’s on fire, my thoughts aflame,

and I no longer know myself.

I’m standing looking at a madman

knowing full well I’d follow him

to the ends of the earth if need be.

775

They’ll have brought me to the madhouse

for some similar foolishness.

There can be no doubt about it:

it’s as clear as day: I am insane.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Her eyes are clouding with new rage,

780

two bright stars eclipsed by the moon.

ERIFILA

That’s it! I’m mad, insane, possessed!

FLORIANO

Calm down, my love, control your thoughts.

ERIFILA

Those aren’t the words of a madman.

FLORIANO

Mad only with love for you,

785

and I swear that I’ll go madder.

ERIFILA

No, you must not say such things.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Why hang on to my common sense,

like a drunkard to his last glass,

when the woman I love has none?

ERIFILA

790

(Aside.)

If madness must be our common ground...

(Aloud.)

A horse! A horse! Bring me a horse!

My kingdom and my eyes for a horse.

My lover Galahad awaits.

FLORIANO

Yes... a horse! I’ll have a horse too!

795

And a sword and an axe and a...

and all the other bits and pieces.

(Aside.)

Alea iacta est. I’ve crossed

the Rubicon of sanity,

swam through the cold waters of reason

800

drawn to the warmth of this new love.

ERIFILA

You there, come and hold my stirrup.

FLORIANO

Your wish is my command, my love.

Where is it?

ERIFILA

You’re fondling my foot,

miserable squire. How dare you!

FLORIANO

805

A squiere? I am a captive, like you.

ERIFILA

A captive? I am Guinevere.

FLORIANO

Shall I be your Lancelot?

ERIFILA

Lancelot is a shining bright,

the most handsome man I have know.

810

He looks at women and they melt,

but none tempts his vow of chastity.

FLORIANO

No, not Lancelot... I’m Sir... Sir

Orlando.

ERIFILA

Sir Orlando? You’re black Mordred!

FLORIANO

I’m not black anyone, I swear.

815

I’ll be any knight that you want,

the whole round table if need be.

ERIFILA

Galahad!

FLORIANO

My lovely Queen!

ERIFILA

And Gawain?

FLORIANO

He’s green with envy.

Sorry, my learned little joke.

820

Once a scholar... of my love for you,

and dare I hope, of yours for me?

ERIFILA

You know Tristan?

FLORIANO

And Merlin too.

ERIFILA

They were good people and good times.

FLORIANO

Camelot was the place to be,

825

my Queen.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

He has a ready wit.

Either he’s sane as any man

or I’ve lost my senses utterly.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

I’ve been too clever for my own good.

I think she’s seen right through me.

830

I’ll have a frenzy of my own.

(Aloud.)

For Spain and for Santiago,

into the valley of death I ride,

cannon to the right, guns on the left.

ERIFILA

It’s a far far better thing you do.

FLORIANO

835

Dulce et decorum est.

ERIFILA

Atque in perpetuo frater.

FLORIANO

Pro patria mori.

ERIFILA

Hic, haec, hoc.

FLORIANO

Morituri te salutant.

Scene 12

Enter PISANO.

PISANO

That’s enough hocus pocus.

840

Time for you to get your tunic on.

And you, Orlando, leave her alone.

I know what you loonies are like.

You’d do it on the street corner

like a couple of dogs in heat.

ERIFILA

845

It’s you’re the dog; you’re Arthur’s cur.

FLORIANO

Eh yes, that’s what you are, all right.

PISANO

Got a little thing going, eh?

You’ll not see each other again

until Carnival comes around.

850

My heart bleeds for you.

ERIFILA

Hopefully

to death.

PISANO

That’s enough noise from you.

Get inside.

ERIFILA

Farewell, my beautiful

madman.

FLORIANO

Farewell, my beautiful

madlady.

PISANO

(Leading ERIFILA off.)

Come on then, walkies.

Scene 13

FLORIANO

855

My thoughts are tangled like a maze;

a labyrinth that’s built upon

a bottomless pit; if I fall

I’ll have lost myself for ever.

Reason can’t check these spinning thoughts

860

no more than a falling man

may pull himself up by the braces.

The sane man weeps, the madman laughs;

for the course that I have chosen

—though it’s the course that’s chosen me—

865

will lead only to tears and pain,

and yet I’d gladly lose my mind,

kill every ounce of common sense,

for that lovely creature, who has none.

Scene 14

Enter VALERIO.

VALERIO

I haven’t come to visit you,

870

since you’ve been here but half a day.

Business of my own brings me here,

a matter of life or death for me.

FLORIANO

What’s wrong, Valerio, tell me.

Have they found out I’m in here.

VALERIO

875

No one knows a thing, my friend,

and I swear that no one will

unless heaven conspires against us.

I’m here because I’ve lost my mind.

FLORIANO

What’s happened to you, Valerio?

880

You’re the most balanced man I know.

But your illness is plain to see:

it’s in the pallor of your cheek,

it’s in the wildness of your eye.

VALERIO

Did you see that girl they brought in,

885

crying that she’d been robbed and stripped?

More beautiful than the order

of the heavens and the planets,

more lovely than the elements,

than any living thing on earth...

FLORIANO

890

And this mad creature, is she yours?

VALERIO

Noy yet, but I’m already hers.

FLORIANO

Let’s find somewhere that we can talk,

and we’ll try to pluck this madness

from your soul, before it’s too late.

VALERIO

895

Floriano, it’s too late now.

The madness has consumed my soul.

There’s no cure, no miracle now.

How can a man tumbling through space

pull himself up by his own belt?

900

And why should he even want to try?

End of Act One.

Act II

Scene 1

Enter FLORIANO.

FLORIANO

Fortune must have its little joke,

piling despair upon despair

so that the will eventually snaps.

Sane or mad, we’re fortune’s playthings;

905

I was snatched from the gates of death,

and now I’m more dead than ever,

tossed like a leaf in the heart’s deep storm.

She looked with a goddess’s gaze,

in her eyes flared madness and fire,

910

and like a moth I flew too close,

spinning madly into the flame.

And when the storm in head and heart

had fanned the fire into white heat,

when I most needed time to think,

915

to freeze the molten flow of thought,

then the earth opened up below me.

My greatest and dearest friend

has been used by cruel fortune

as her most outrageous arrow.

920

Valerio, who gave me new hope,

without whom I would now be dead,

says that his life hangs from a thread,

and that whether she’s mad or sane

he means to have her for his own.

925

If he pretends she’s a relative,

then he’ll be granted full licence

to take her home. If I lose her,

whether she’s mad or if she’s sane,

then the only thing left to me

930

will be the madness of the storm.

Scene 2

Enter FEDRA. She doesn’t see FLORIANO.

FEDRA

I can’t settle to anything;

I’ve been wandering round this madhouse

like a ghost without a castle,

and my steps bring me here each time,

935

to the place that I first saw him.

Love has cut me down like a scythe,

my senses now control my sense,

and my whole being is possessed.

They say that love is a madness,

940

a fire that blazes within,

but I am covered in fire

and I would give myself to him,

do anything with him, for him,

to douse this fire in my brain,

945

in my heart and in my body.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Then we’ll fight madness with madness.

FEDRA

(Aside.)

Madness rises up to madness.

It changes colour, changes form,

like the artful chameleon,

950

matching itself to its desire.

FLORIANO

I’ve lost something! It’s quite, quite gone.

I don’t suppose that you’ve seen it?

FEDRA

I don’t suppose that you’ve seen me,

the torture and torment of my heart?

FLORIANO

955

You are beyond doubt a lady

of noble sensibility

that you should grieve so much for my loss.

You’ll get your reward in heaven,

my daughter.

FEDRA

In heaven or hell,

960

what difference does it make to me.

My appetite is here and now.

FLORIANO

What you need is fresh goat’s cheese.

Help me find my favourite pebble

and I’ll give you some aubergines.

965

Ho, everyone that thirsteth

come ye to the waters and drink!

FEDRA

(Aside.)

There’s a fury in him I can’t touch.

FLORIANO

And those who hath no money,

let them come by too and eat.

970

Bring me the brains of the Baptist!

FEDRA

If I could find your brains for you,

I’d return them on a salver.

FLORIANO

Herodias! Jezabel! Whore!

You’ve sent. Salome to seduce me,

975

to parade her cruel beauty

in front of me and steal my mind.

FEDRA

And do you think me beautiful?

I’d dance for you, undress for you.

FLORIANO

My love has teeth as white as pearls,

980

and her lips as red as peppers;

her kiss is like a burning jewel.

I loved her once, I love her still.

Get thee behind me, Salome.

You can’t tempt me. Your mouth is pus.

FEDRA

985

And for pearl-white teeth and red lips,

you lost your mind?

FLORIANO

I lost my mind

and in its place I found wisdom

and then the devil appeared to me.

And with the pact we made I lost...

FEDRA

990

What, my poor love?

FLORIANO

I don’t remember.

FEDRA

Do you remember the ribbon,

the green ribbon that I gave you?

I said that it would bring you hope.

FLORIANO

I threw that hope back into the game,

995

into the mad game we play here,

and the ribbon just... disappeared.

Fortune dealt me a better hand.

FEDRA

What better hand?

FLORIANO

We gamble here

with stakes much higher than you think.

1000

A lifetime’s hope and happiness

on the single turn of a card.

And I was dealt the Queen of Hearts...

but now I see a Knave of Spades

and he may win my Queen away.

1005

It’s time to turn the card and see.

FEDRA

You’d gamble the hope I gave you?

FLORIANO

I’d gamble all the hope in the world,

the hope ot the future and the past.

FEDRA

Shall I give you another ribbon,

1010

in case you should just lose your Queen?

FLORIANO

I’ll accept your ribbon gladly,

But I may give it to my love.

Where is it?

FEDRA

Here. Come and get it.

Can’t you see it?

FLORIANO

You take it off.

FEDRA

1015

My hands are trembling. Untie it.

FLORIANO begins to remove the ribbon from her throat.

(Aside.)

Oh, God, he’s almost in my arms.

There’s no reason now to hold back.

He’s nothing but a witless fool.

FLORIANO

Get your hand out of my pocket!

1020

You’re trying to steal my pebbles!

FEDRA

(Aside.)

Let me hold myself against you.

You’ve no sense of what’s right or wrong;

why should any the more have I?

Scene 3

Enter ERIFILA, dressed in a hospital tunic and cap.

ERIFILA

I wish you both health and long life.

1025

Here’s the man who wanted to be

Lancelot to my Guinevere

who made Gawain go green with envy.

Just another lying bastard.

One of the pleasures of madness

1030

is its freedom from all restraint.

So I think I’ll say it again:

just another lying bastard.

And who do you think you are then?

What fairy tale have you sprung from?

1035

Not the administrator’s niece,

with more ribbons than a prize cabbage?

If you’re sane, you’re mad to be here;

his soul is sick, his mind twisted,

and you dance upon his every word.

1040

You thrust yourself into his arms.

FEDRA

Now don’t get angry, Elvira.

ERIFILA

Better get back to your uncle’s,

or I’ll change you into a toad.

FEDRA

(Aside.)

They have the strength of seven men,

1045

when the mood takes them. I’ll just go.

Scene 4

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

So it seems fortune’s tide has turned.

They say jealousy’s the fruit of love;

I’d say its root. It engenders

the fiercest, most burning passion.

1050

(Aloud.)

What melancholy’s this, my Queen?

ERIFILA

I raised my voice to my mistress.

My temper’s as quick as the wind,

and now you’ll think that I love you

when you’re already in love with her.

FLORIANO

1055

Elvira, on my mother’s grave,

and for all that’s good and holy,

if I’ve the least regard for her,

let me be boiled alive in oil.

And if I’m not Sir Lancelot,

1060

and Guinevere’s devoted slave,

then let me be roasted or fried.

We were playing a game that’s all,

to see whether she likes butter,

holding a flower to her chin.

ERIFILA

1065

I think I’d prefer you roasted.

Remember these words, Orlando.

I came here and I looked at you.

After you, I’ll look at the wall.

I don’t believe your butter game,

1070

but I’ll make you my Lancelot.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Love, intervene for this woman

and restore her senses to her;

God take Fedra’s if need be.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

Love, if you indeed echo heaven,

1075

give this man back what he has lost.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Love, give back a soul to this face

For she is a monster of beauty.

Make her able to understand

the great love that I feel for her.

ERIFILA

1080

(Aside.)

Love, shed some light into his mind

so that he can understand me.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Otherwise, heaven help us both.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

How can I tell him who I am

if I cannot trust his reaction?

FLORIANO

1085

(Aside.)

If I cannot trust her reaction,

how can I tell her who I am?

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

But the madwoman could tell him,

For who’s to know it’s not fantasy?

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

The madman can speak the sane man’s thoughts.

ERIFILA

1090

Let’s talk together, you and I.

FLORIANO

About Camelot?

ERIFILA

About love.

What does love mean to you, good sir?

FLORIANO

The principle of creation,

a desire that’s born through the eyes

1095

and fires the mind and body:

the perfect balance of two souls.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

This isn’t madness.

FLORIANO

The urge to have,

to possess, the beauty we see

and in whose image we are formed,

1100

for all lovers are Narcissus.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

He speaks like a philosopher.

Ah, but that may be his obsession.

FLORIANO

And beauty itself is varied:

the beauty of appearances,

1105

harmony of outer form,

which you have in great abundance,

though you don’t understand a word;

and the beauty of the intellect,

distributed by St Peter

1110

to those souls about to be born.

You must have been gazing at the moon

and missed the gifts he pressed upon you.

ERIFILA

Weigh your words with care, moonstruck fool.

FLORIANO

I’m no more the moon’s fool than you.

ERIFILA

1115

The moon affects me once a month.

FLORIANO

The moon is your sign, Elvira;

all your brilliance is reflection.

ERIFILA

And your brain is the size of a...

FLORIANO

Planet.

ERIFILA

Jupiter or Mercury?

FLORIANO

1120

(Aside.)

This woman’s clearly no one’s fool.

(Aloud.)

And what do you know of love’s sting?

ERIFILA

That we talk of being arrowstruck,

that arrows are shot from bows like moons,

that love is a form of madness.

1125

All of this I knew in theory

until I met you in this place

and I felt the sting in my flesh.

The theory was turned into fact.

FLORIANO

You understand theory and fact?

ERIFILA

1130

(Aside.)

This man sounds as sane as I am.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Who knows, she might have just struck lucky.

ERIFILA

Do you understand what I mean?

That I like you, that you please me,

like pepper enriches red wine.

FLORIANO

1135

Like bacon after Holy Week,

like mutton on a Saturday.

ERIFILA

(Aside.)

His wit’s too quick for a madman.

FLORIANO

She’s sane! More than sane, she has wit!

ERIFILA

I come from a noble family.

FLORIANO

1140

Mine has may lands in the north.

ERIFILA

I ran away from my father

with a servant who robbed and stripped me.

FLORIANO

They say I killed a man, a prince.

ERIFILA

He fled like a frightened whippet...

FLORIANO

1145

I pretended to be insane...

ERIFILA

... and got nothing from me but scorn.

FLORIANO

... to keep my neck out of the noose.

ERIFILA

Are you telling me the truth?

FLORIANO

Yes.

Are you?

ERIFILA

I swear I am, my love.

1150

Although I am not called Elvira

nor am I as mad as you thought.

Until they brought me here by mistake

my name was Erifila

and I was my father’s darling.

1155

You can trust me with your secrets;

I’ll be as silent as the grave

And I’ll worship you until I die.

FLORIANO

The sky has opened up for me.

Kiss me, Erifila.

ERIFILA

Oh, yes,

1160

I give myself to you in madness.

Scene 5

Enter PISANO.

PISANO

I knew it. They’re at it like dogs.

Bring a bucket of cold water!

FLORIANO

You’re jealous, Pisano, that’s all.

PISANO

Just because you’re out of your minds

1165

Doesn’t mean you’re a pair of rabbits.

I’ll soon fix you. Martin! Thomas!

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

Piling despair upon despair.

Scene 6

Enter MARTIN and THOMAS.

THOMAS

Moors on the coast! Man the cannon!

PISANO

All right, Thomas, take it easy.

1170

I want them to be kept apart.

Hobble him and manacle her.

If they can manage it after that,

then they must be contortionists.

FLORIANO

It was my fault, so chain me up.

PISANO

1175

It was your fault?

FLORIANO

Leave her alone!

PISANO

One more word, and it’s the cage for you.

MARTIN

You were told when you arrived here:

that men and women stay apart,

until we go out for Carnival.

THOMAS

1180

What sort of maniac are you?

PISANO

Get them out of my sight.

THOMAS

Mush! Mush!

ERIFILA

(To PISANO.)

Don’t think that I don’t see your game.

I know that look that’s in your eyes.

MARTIN and THOMAS lead off FLORIANO and ERIFILA.

Scene 7

PISANO

Mad attracts mad; natural enough.

1185

Like to like; birdbrains of a feather.

But she churns the brains of the sane;

my mind’s spinning like a windmill

left standing in a hurricane.

At my age, nothing excited me

1190

beyond a glass of good red wine.

And now I look at the mirror,

I fix my hair, practice my smile,

make sure my clothes are hanging well.

This is the madness of seagulls

1195

wheeling and pitching on the wind.

But I’d not change it for the world.

Scene 8

Enter THOMAS.

THOMAS

Pisano, there’s a knight outside

with... with...

PISANO

With what, Thomas, with what?

THOMAS

With an accent from Aragon.

PISANO

1200

Tell him I’ve got one already.

THOMAS

Right!

THOMAS makes to leave.

PISANO

Thomas, think straight. Who is it?

THOMAS

Your cousin from Zaragoza,

the city constable, righter of...

PISANO

You mean Liberto?

THOMAS

Liberto!

PISANO

1205

Then tell him to come in. Madmen...

Scene 9

Enter LIBERTO.

LIBERTO

How could I come to Valencia

and not call in here to see you?

Though you understand, my mission...

PISANO

Liberto, let me embrace you

1210

once and a thousand times over.

LIBERTO

My dear cousin, my dearest friend.

PISANO

You must consider this your home.

LIBERTO

What do you mean? That I’m insane?

PISANO

Simply that my home is your home.

1215

What business brings you to these parts?

LIBERTO

You’ve heard about Prince Reinero?

PISANO

Only some gossip here and there;

some people say he’s been murdered,

others that he’s safe in hiding,

1220

a lie cooked up for reasons of state.

LIBERTO

The state never lies, not ever!

He’s as dead as a piece of pork,

and every constable in Spain

has been dispatched to hunt his killer.

1225

But the less you know the better.

PISANO

Prince Reinero was a good man.

The whole of Spain seeks justice done.

LIBERTO

Oh yes, we’ll get him, mark my words.

His mistress gave us his portrait

1230

and commended his soul to hell.

We had a hundred copies made.

But I don’t want to say too much.

PISANO

Can I see?

LIBERTO

For a moment, yes.

Bear in mind it’s state propery.

He hands him a portrait.

PISANO

1235

It could be anyone... you or me.

What does this say?

LIBERTO

Floriano,

aetatis suae twenty-nine,

perhaps thirty now. Remember

appearances are deceptive.

PISANO

1240

There’s a gentle look in his eye.

There’s some of them in here

would kill you soon as look at you.

One of them, Orlando, believe...

LIBERTO

Is that loony there eavesdropping?

1245

My mission must remain secret.

PISANO

He’s looking at the stars and moon

and wondering where the sun’s gone.

He’s as empty as a virgin’s bed.

Your secret will be safe with him.

1250

But we’ll go to my apartments.

No one will interrupt us there.

They leave.

Scene 10

THOMAS

The world’s much too wide for secrets.

Which is why they say walls have ears

and what’s known to one is known to all.

1255

If I knew what this secret meant

I’d save the life of my best friend;

like Don Quijote I’d ride out!

Scene 11

Enter FLORIANO, his legs hobbled.

FLORIANO

Now I’ve got no one to turn to.

How do I get out of this place

1260

if I can’t trust Valerio?

By God, I’m talking to myself,

a sure sign of insanity.

What ho, good sir Thomas, my Lord!

THOMAS

Orlandito, my favourite squire.

1265

They’ve shackled you like a prize pig.

FLORIANO

The old lady’s will, they call these,

after the pitiful old crone

who left her entire fortune

to the prisons and castles of Spain.

1270

‘Buy something for the prisoners’,

she stipulated. So they did.

THOMAS

The knave who killed Prince Reinero

should be shackled and whipped instead.

And they’ll find him with that portrait.

1275

They’ll not leave any stone unturned.

FLORIANO

Who told you?

THOMAS

Pisano’s cousin.

FLORIANO

And did he show you the portrait?

THOMAS

The varlet’s name began with ‘Flor’.

FLORIANO

Floriano?

THOMAS

Maybe.

FLORIANO

What else?

THOMAS

1280

He’s thirty, give or take a year.

FLORIANO

Do they know where the... varlet... is?

THOMAS

By the hair of my beard, they don’t.

FLORIANO

Where are they now?

THOMAS

They’ve gone inside.

FLORIANO

I’ve a mind to see that portrait.

1285

You wait here.

THOMAS

Don’t say I told you.

It’s supposed to be a secret.

FLORIANO

I won’t breathe a word to a soul.

THOMAS

Orlando, my favourite squire.

Exit FLORIANO.

Scene 12

Enter ERIFILA, her wrists manacled.

ERIFILA

Thomas, what are you doing here?

THOMAS

1290

My Lady, how did you escape?

ERIFILA

Martin was working on his book

and he suddenly keeled over.

THOMAS

He does that; authors often do.

If Pisano finds you out here

1295

he’ll have your lovely guts for garters.

ERIFILA

He’s already got me in chains

like some rabid dog.

THOMAS

He’ll beat you.

Though God knows it would be a sin.

ERIFILA

Do you think I’m pretty, Thomas?

THOMAS

1300

As pretty as the moon and stars,

and if I weren’t mad already...

We could get married so we could!

I’m...

ERIFILA

Martin says you’re Don Quijote.

THOMAS

I say that to keep him happy.

1305

Because if I’m not Don Quijote

then how can he be Cervantes?

It’s simple. I’m the King of Spain.

ERIFILA

Then I pledge to your majesty...

THOMAS

What? What?

ERIFILA

That I will marry you.

THOMAS

1310

Now?

ERIFILA

When broken shells make Christmas bells.

THOMAS

I don’t want to wait to Christmas!

ERIFILA

Well, if there was a priest here now...

THOMAS

A priest? I’ll fetch a cardinal!

ERIFILA

Orlando has taken orders!

1315

Go and find him. He’ll marry us.

THOMAS

Give me your hand.

ERIFILA

My hands are chained.

THOMAS

By God, I’ll free you from your chains!

ERIFILA

Just go and look for Orlando.

THOMAS

Orlando, my favourite squire,

1320

a priest... who would have believed it?

You’ll be a cardinal, my boy!

Exit THOMAS.

Scene 13

ERIFILA

By the time he finds Orlando,

he’ll have forgotten what he wants.

Orlando, my love, I want you.

1325

I’ve never loved another man,

felt the slightest stirring in my soul,

till we met in this asylum.

I watched Leonato sleeping

every night, not closing my eyes

1330

in case he came into my bed,

hating his touch upon my skin

when he tried to draw me to him,

thinking I’d never give myself

to any man. I want you now.

1335

This madness has become my soul.

Scene 14

Enter FLORIANO, his face blacked up.

FLORIANO

Elvira.

ERIFILA

Floriano... what...

FLORIANO

A wise philosopher once said

that life is like a game of chess,

that white becomes black overnight,

1340

that intellect must play with passion.

A king with his one hundred pawns

moves relentlessly down the board

to take one piece, a single knight.

He sends his castle before him,

1345

a rook to put the knight in check,

before the king clses in for mate.

But what if the white knight turns black?

ERIFILA

What do you mean a rook has come?

FLORIANO

I’ve heard that he has a portrait.

ERIFILA

1350

I don’t think I like this game.

FLORIANO

No,

but you’re a part of it as well,

a queen who can pluck her knight from death.

ERIFILA

What exactly is happening?

Nobody’s listening; speak clearly.

FLORIANO

1355

One of Reinero’s men is here,

and he has a likeness of me.

ERIFILA

Then hide.

FLORIANO

He must see the madman,

and seeing the madman, forget me.

ERIFILA

Your secret proves your love for me,

1360

and I’ll help you, though it costs my life.

Without you, my love, I have no life.

FLORIANO

So they put chains on you as well.

ERIFILA

Not chains, jewels in the eyes of love.

FLORIANO

Love has made us one prisoner,

1365

bound and chained both hand and foot.

ERIFILA

The chains around your feet, my love,

I wear them willingly round my heart.

If only my arms could open

to draw you closer to my breast.

FLORIANO

1370

I hear footsteps!

ERIFILA

Shall I stay or go?

FLORIANO

Stay... it’s too late now anyway.

Scene 15

Enter PISANO and LIBERTO.

LIBERTO

I must get to Alicante

before Friday.

PISANO

You won’t stay then?

LIBERTO

I’ll take no rest till I find him,

1375

and I’ll hardly do that in here.

PISANO

What do you two think you’re doing?

FLORIANO

You treat me with rough injustice,

more so in the dubious company

of this ruffian. What do you want?

1380

I know that you want to hurt me.

ERIFILA

Who are you? Go on, who are you?

LIBERTO

I am here on the King’s business,

in search of a dangerous man.

It’s better you don’t know too much.

FLORIANO

1385

There are a hundred such men here.

ERIFILA

What did he do, this dangerous man?

LIBERTO

He killed a prince.

ERIFILA

And what’s his name,

this dangerous man?

LIBERTO

Floriano.

ERIFILA

A beautiful name. I’m his wife.

LIBERTO

1390

You could find yourself in trouble

going around making claims like that.

I’m on official state business.

I am the King’s representative.

PISANO

We have to watch this little one;

1395

butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth,

but deep down... lovely, though, isn’t she?

ERIFILA

Why doesn’t the King find my jewels?

PISANO

Stolen jewels – that’s her obsession.

FLORIANO

Because the King has been robbed too.

ERIFILA

1400

Who robbed the King?

FLORIANO

I robbed the King!

ERIFILA

That’s all right then. You’re my prisoner.

I have you in chains already.

Speak! What did you steal from the King?

FLORIANO

His crown. Then I looked for his sceptre...

ERIFILA

1405

Sceptre?

FLORIANO

Sceptre I couldn’t find it.

ERIFILA

Will you give the King’s jewels to me?

FLORIANO

Elvira, the crowned head of my heart.

LIBERTO

I warn you... I’m the King’s agent.

FLORIANO

Speak of the devil and you get

1410

his monkey riding on your back.

PISANO

Neither of them know what they’re saying.

Pay no attention, Liberto.

FLORIANO

Do you have the slightest idea

of who I am or what I’ve done?

LIBERTO

1415

I know you think you’ve robbed the King.

I know what your game is, my lad.

You’re the sort that loves confessing;

you’d confess to killing Abel

if you thought that I’d arrest you.

FLORIANO

1420

I’m going to throw the monkey off.

Do you know why my face is black?

LIBERTO

To match your humour, probably.

Or your soul, if loonies have one.

FLORIANO

It’s to make people notice me,

1425

like singing off-key in a choir.

ERIFILA

It’s so that he can win at chess.

PISANO

Any more and you’re in the cage!

(To LIBERTO.)

Orlando will be here for life,

but Elvira leaves tomorrow.

ERIFILA

1430

Where?

PISANO

You haven’t heard the news?

Your cousin wants to take you home;

he’s assumed responsibility

for your mental and physical care.

ERIFILA

Cousin?

FLORIANO

Cousin Valerio,

1435

perhaps?

PISANO

So you know her cousin?

ERIFILA

It will be the blackest of days

before I eat and sleep in his house.

I prefer my honest madness

to his mealy-mouthed sanity!

1440

Who would be cured by a liar?

I’d rather be locked in your cages!

LIBERTO

I can see you have your hands full.

PISANO

She rants and raves incessantly

and never makes a drop of sense.

FLORIANO

1445

They told me you have a portrait.

LIBERTO

What portrait? What do you know?

FLORIANO

A portrait of the King of Spain.

LIBERTO

Would you like to see it, madman?

FLORIANO

I’d like nothing better in this world.

LIBERTO

1450

Then look and tell me who it is.

He hands him the portrait.

FLORIANO

I know this face... and where he is.

LIBERTO

Of course you do.

FLORIANO

Just set me free

and I’ll tell you where to find him.

LIBERTO

I’ve wasted enough time already.

1455

Pisano, I must take my leave.

PISANO

I’ll walk with you into the town.

LIBERTO

To tell you the truth, I’d welcome

some normal conversation.

I don’t know how you keep sane in here.

PISANO and LIBERTO leave.

Scene 16

ERIFILA

1460

If ever I doubted you were mad,

I take it all back; you’re deranged!

FLORIANO

But the King’s man will not be back.

This is one stone that’s not been turned,

because it’s turned itself for him.

1465

Tell me, where’s the madness in that?

ERIFILA

My heart was bursting in my mouth.

FLORIANO

Your heart was beating inside me.

ERIFILA

Must I still call you Orlando.

FLORIANO

My real name is Floriano.

ERIFILA

1470

Floriano.

FLORIANO

Erifila.

ERIFILA

I thought you’d gone too far.

FLORIANO

How can a madman go too far?

ERIFILA

If I could I would hold you now...

FLORIANO

I’ve never felt freer in my life.

1475

My mind is free, my hands are free.

Scene 17

Enter LAIDA.

LAIDA

Thak God I came down when I did.

Get your filthy hands off her!

Leave her alone, you maniac!

ERIFILA

Who is this damsel – of sorts?

LAIDA

1480

It’s not your legs you should have chained.

Why are you so obsessed with her?

FLORIANO

Because she looks at me with fire.

LAIDA

Then look somewhere else, Orlando.

At me, for example

ERIFILA

At you?

1485

Why should he want to look at you?

You’re coarse, dull, with the face of a cow.

I’ll call you Daisy.

FLORIANO

I am a knight

who pays homage to his lady.

LAIDA

Homage. It looked more like a grope.

ERIFILA

1490

Why don’t you go and get yourself milked?

LAIDA

Orlando! Will you just stand by

and let this madwoman insult me?

ERIFILA

Lanmcelot, Guinevere is bored.

Stay with your Daisy in distress,

1495

your dazzling bovine beauty.

Her onion breath’s too much for me.

FLORIANO

I’ll go with you to Camelot,

my Lady. Let Daisy graze here.

ERIFILA and FLORIANO leave.

Scene 18

LAIDA

I’ve been outwitted by half wits,

1500

With not a right thought between them.

God help me, I love a madman,

who prefers a madwoman to me.

There’s no dignity, no joy, in that.

Yet their madness fits hand in glove

1505

and I cannot understand their world,

or break their circle of delusion.

But if I could, he would love me,

he would love me and cast aside

his Guinevere of ice and snow

1510

for the fire of my eyes and heart.

Scene 19

Enter FEDRA.

FEDRA

Laida, what brings you back down here?

As if I didn’t know.

LAIDA

Laida?

FEDRA

The most terrible thing’s happened.

LAIDA

(Singing.)

Volare, cantare, oh oh oh oh.

FEDRA

1515

My whole world’s gone, at one fell swoop.

My uncle’s sending me away.

My father’s written from Madrid

ordering me home at once.

There’s someone wants to marry me.

LAIDA

1520

An old man with an old man’s lance,

not a knight with burning lips.

FEDRA

Laida, it’s not your place to spec...

LAIDA

I am the whore of Camelot.

I know Arthur’s deepest secrets.

1525

I’ve lain with Galahad and Merlin.

FEDRA

What’s got into you. Stop screeching!

LAIDA

What’s got into me? Anyone

and everyone. I know who I am.

I am the whore of Camelot!

FEDRA

1530

Laida, you’re not yourself today.

LAIDA

Where’s the drink you were to bring me?

I told you to bring some sweet wine.

Wench, I’ll teach you to obey.

FEDRA

If you think you can talk to me...

LAIDA

1535

I’ll have you flogged till you drop,

my ugly little serving maid.

FEDRA

You’re mad. She’s gone mad, she must have.

She’s lost her wits.

LAIDA

I’ve found my wits!

I looked into his eyes and drank.

FEDRA

1540

Pull yourself together.

LAIDA

Drop dead.

Volares, cantare, oh oh oh oh.

FEDRA

(Aside.)

Her madness holds the key to him.

My Mistress, your wish is my command.

LAIDA

I’ve been kept waiting overlong.

FEDRA

1545

The kitchen lad broke the bottle.

LAIDA

Then have him whipped very soundly.

Unless you want him for yourself.

(Aside.)

What does she think she’s playing at?

FEDRA

You’ll not harm a hair on his head!

1550

He’s Lancelot’s favourite squire.

LAIDA

You dare mention my lover’s name?

Your filthy lips frame his fine name?

With your snacke’s tongue, your pig’s snout, you...

FEDRA

Fool, whore, don’t you know we’re married?

LAIDA

1555

(Aside.)

She’s seen through me.

(Aloud.)

Who married you?

FEDRA

The Pope.

(Aside.)

I envy her madness,but by following her frenzy

they’ll let me stay in the madhouse too.

(Aloud.)

The Pope of Rome in his white suit.

LAIDA

(Aside.)

She’s playing the same game as me.

1560

(Aloud.)

I’ll buy a rope to hang your pope

And I’ll have Lancelot instead.

FEDRA

Lancelot wouldn’t spit on you

even though you were dying of thirst.

You’re just another ugly servant.

1565

(Aside.)

In madness veritas. Why not?

LAIDA

You’d be too frightened to lie with him.

You’re frigid, you’re like death warmed up,

you’re as cold as a piece of fish,

too stuck up to have it stuck up.

1570

(Aside.)

Now we’re really telling it straight.

FEDRA

Bring me an axe and I’ll kill her!

LAIDA

I’ll rearrange your face for you!

FEDRA

Lying whore!

LAIDA

Frigid bitch!

They fight.

Scene 20

Enter SANCHO, the Administrator of the asylum, and VALERIO.

SANCHO

You must excuse me, Valerio.

1575

I think that’s the matter settled,

but this fraca’s driving me insane.

VALERIO

It seems we got here just in time.

There’s a madwoman at your niece’s throat.

SANCHO

Good God, Fedra! What’s going on?

1580

Hey you, let her go! What’s your name?

Pisano! Pisano! Come here!

Get this shrew back into her cage!

LAIDA

Ah, the wicked witch’s uncle.

Don’t you recongnise me, Sancho?

SANCHO

1585

Laida! I can’t believe my eyes.

Or my ears. You forget yourself.

FEDRA

This foul-mouthed slut, this two-faced whore

says that Orlando is her lover.

SANCHO

Impossible!

FEDRA

Of course it is.

1590

Everyone knows he’s my husband.

‘A poor thing, señora, but your own’,

he told me in our wedding bed.

He’s always been a great scholar.

SANCHO

Fedra! Calm down! What’s this about?

VALERIO

1595

Don’t you recognise your own trade,

Sancho? They’re both as mad as hares.

FEDRA

Her love has got a red red nose.

LAIDA

You thought I was your niece’s maid?

Little man, how little you know.

1600

I am the Queen of Sheba.

Look at my breast. It’s burnt with love.

FEDRA

My breast too is covered with ash,

where he has laid his hands and lips.

SANCHO

For the last time, control yourselves.

VALERIO

1605

Someone has cast a sepll on them.

SANCHO

This is not a spell or potion.

I’ve seen the ravages of love

work to evil effect before.

I’ve made it a special study

1610

and published a treatise on this:

Dr Sancho’s Ars Curandi:

Antidotes to Ars Amandi.

I’ll give you a copy later.

VALERIO

Thank you. So you can cure them?

SANCHO

No.

1615

The madness has to run its course.

It was a black, black day you brought

your mad friend to this asylum.

FEDRA

Everyone’s sad. Let’s have a dance.

SANCHO

Things are going from bad to worse.

FEDRA and LAIDA dance.

VALERIO

1620

I think you’d better lock them up

before anyone else sees them.

Think of your niece’s reputation.

Perhaps finding themselves in a cage

will restore them to their senses.

SANCHO

1625

By God, I’ll kill them or cure them.

And when I’ve finished with your friend,

he’ll wish that he’d never been born.

Advance methods are well and good,

but when it comes to a crisis...

VALERIO

1630

If he knew what he was doing,

if he was in his right mind, yes.

But you can’t punish a madman

for actions beyond his control.

SANCHO

I’m in charge of this asylum!

1635

He’s been the root cause of all this.

FEDRA

If you hurt him, I’ll kill myself,

I swear I will.

Scene 21

Enter PISANO, accompanied by THOMAS and MARTIN.

PISANO

You called me, sir.

I brought these two along in case.

Is there trouble?

SANCHO

Of the worst sort.

PISANO

1640

Mistress Fedra, what are you doing?

FEDRA

I’m waiting to see my husband.

LAIDA

Yours! He’s mine!

FEDRA

Easily explained.

You’re mad.

LAIDA

You’re the crazy one.

THOMAS

They’re both clearly very disturbed.

SANCHO

1645

They’re both married to Orlando.

I’ll soon rid them of that notion.

MARTIN

My beautiful Laida, married!

I’ll never write another word.

LAIDA

You’d do well to keep out of this

1650

or Orlando will run you through.

PISANO

Sanity’s a fragile thing, sir.

And Orlando’s a dangerous man.

But they’ll be safe enough in my care.

SANCHO

And not a word to anyone.

PISANO

1655

Take them.

THOMAS

Stand still.

FEDRA

You come near me

and my husband’ll flay you alive.

LAIDA

My husband!

FEDRA

He’s mine! We’re married!

They close on one another again as THOMAS and MARTIN struggle to control them.

SANCHO

It’s a pitiful spectacle

that love should bring human beings so low.

VALERIO

1660

And now, about my madwoman...

when can I have her home with me?

End of Act Two.

Act III

Scene 1

A room in the asylum. SANCHO and VERINO, a learned doctor.

VERINO

I’m worried she’s not taking solids.

By fair means or foul, by hook or crook,

make sure she eats every day.

1665

Then with Godspeed and a fair wind

her humours will trickle into place.

SANCHO

She hasn’t eaten for two days,

ever since we put her in the cage.

VERINO

I suspected that from the outset.

1670

She’s suffering from atrophy,

collapse through lack of nourishment;

the stomach shrivels like a dry prune,

like a piece of fruit in the sun,

and then grows cold so the body

1675

freezes in its extremities.

Press some vinegar to her nose

or even better, some warm bread,

and then plunge her elbows and feet

into bowls of boiling water.

1680

There’s no doubt, that’ll do the trick;

she’ll be up and about in a flash.

SANCHO

Can you treat her melancholy?

VERINO

Ah yes, I saw that from the start.

It’s a form of catalepsis,

1685

when the melancholic humours

blow hot throughout the body,

like the sirocco from Algery.

The ancients termed it ‘erotes’,

viz: the erotic obsession

1690

which drives your niece’s waking thoughts.

Sorry, not delicately put,

I’m afraid, but there it is.

The lovesick, a common ailment

in which the senses rise up,

1695

leading to fits of wildest fury.

But we’ll have her back on her feet

Before you can say ‘catatonia’.

SANCHO

Her fits have become worse of late.

VERINO

Ah, that was always in the runes.

1700

Posidonios of Athens

discovered that the membranes swell,

constricting the supply of blood

to the equitable humours.

There are a thousand and one cures;

1705

as many as we’ve had hot dinners,

you and I, but there’s one danger:

remove the madman from her sight

and your niece will surely die.

SANCHO

How can I keep them together?

VERINO

1710

Ah, I see you follow my drift.

You must go to her and pander.

SANCHO

Pander?

VERINO

Yes, to her obsession.

Tell her she will indeed marry

the object of her delusion.

1715

We turn to nature for our cure,

to the natural principle

that woman forms herself in man

as matter itself seeks out form.

SANCHO

Marrying Orlando would cure her?

VERINO

1720

As surely as day follows night.

She would return to her first sense,

Shattered by her late obsession.

I quote from the Master Galen:

‘Lock ye not the madman away

1725

for melancholy grows apace

with darkness and with solitude.’

His meaning is, I think, crystal clear.

SANCHO

Indeed. You mean...

VERINO

What day is it?

SANCHO

Tuesday... Shrove Tuesday!... Carnival!

VERINO

1730

When all Valencia celebrates.

Let them join the celebrations

to disperse those grey dense vapours

and then we’ll feed her heart’s desire.

We’ll marry them this afternoon.

1735

By night she’ll be as right as rain.

SANCHO

There’s no question of a wedding night.

VERINO

The subject is, of course, delicate.

Have no fear. Feed her obsession

and her sanity is assured.

SANCHO

1740

Talk of the devil... and here’s his monkey.

VERINO

Monkey?

SANCHO

Orlando’s coming down.

Scene 2

Enter FLORIANO, muttering.

FLORIANO

They can do what they will to me,

kill me, hang, draw and quarter me,

but they’re not going to make me go.

SANCHO

1745

What’s worrying you, Orlando?

FLORIANO

Pisano wants me to go out

to beg for alms this afternoon.

SANCHO

We do it every carnival;

the inmates look forward to it.

VERINO

1750

That’s precisely what Galen meant.

To the drunkard, wine; the madman, air.

FLORIANO

It’s the shame of it, with madmen,

parading up and down the street

when I’m saner than any of you

1755

and better educated too.

I’m not going out to be gawped at.

SANCHO

Pisano! Pisano!

PISANO

(Voice off.)

Yes sir!

SANCHO

You can let Orlando stay here.

FLORIANO

(To Verino.)

I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.

VERINO

1760

You don’t remember your old friends?

FLORIANO

No! Who are you?

VERINO

I’m the doctor.

I saw you when you first came in.

FLORIANO

Good sir, good sir, I’m delighted

to make your acquaintance again;

1765

the company of learned men

sits well with me; men of science

who know the very soul of things.

VERINO

Let me talk to you, my poor boy.

Doy you know what the word ‘soul’ means?

FLORIANO

1770

The soul is both the prime mover

and the perfection of the body.

VERINO

If I said ‘heart’, what word would you say?

What word comes straight into your mind?

FLORIANO

‘Less’.

VERINO

Less heart?

SANCHO

Heartless.

VERINO

Ah, heartless.

1775

Chains?

FLORIANO

Balls.

VERINO

Balls?

SANCHO

Balls and chains, doctor.

VERINO

Ah, balls and chains. Very good. In?

FLORIANO

Sane.

VERINO

Out?

FLORIANO

Of your minds, all of you.

VERINO

Marry?

FLORIANO

Who?

VERINO

I’ll ask the questions.

Fedra?

FLORIANO

You’ve got to be joking!

VERINO

1780

This is fairly new technique;

I don’t think much of it myself

and I doubt if it will catch on.

But one thing has become quite clear!

This man talks as though he were sane,

1785

even though he’s obviously mad.

It’s a curious condition,

though not unknown, and with Godspeed...

SANCHO

The doctor’s mention of Fedra

was not as idle as it seemed.

1790

My niece has gone out of her mind

because of her great love for you.

VERINO

We propose that you marry her

in an attempt to restore her wits.

FLORIANO

Do you mean really marry her?

SANCHO

1795

(Aside to VERINO.)

What should we say?

VERINO

It’s carnival;

tell him it’ll be make-believe.

SANCHO

No, it will be just make-believe.

That will be enough to cure her.

And we’ll be suitably grateful.

FLORIANO

1800

In that case, how can I refuse?

SANCHO

I’ll send for you when we’re ready.

FLORIANO

I await your call, good doctors.

SANCHO and VERINO leave.

Scene 3

FLORIANO

At least I don’t have to go out

and show myself in the city.

1805

Apart from the embarrassment,

which is no small consideration,

it could still be dangerous for me.

It’s my life not my sanity

that’s still in play; but locked away,

1810

my secret remains within these walls.

God knows what secrets they have seen,

and what secrets they have kept silent.

Scene 4

Enter ERIFILA.

ERIFILA

I’ve been looking for you, Orlando,

to give you my congratulations,

1815

even though they stick in my throat.

May you have and hold your Fedra

for a thousand years to come.

FLORIANO

News travels fast in the madhouse.

ERIFILA

Fedra’s shouting it from the rooftops.

FLORIANO

1820

Don’t let anger blind your good sense.

This is just make-believe, nothing more.

You should be laughing, not angry;

it’s Fedra’s the dupe, not you.

ERIFILA

So you think this is amusing?

1825

This is a trifle to be laughed at?

From now on, you’re a married man!

FLORIANO

Married?

ERIFILA

That’s what a wedding does.

It marries you.

FLORIANO

No it doesn’t.

I’m not gelling married for real.

ERIFILA

1830

You’ve agreed to the arrangements.

FLORIANO

The arrangements are real enough

but the intention is to cure her;

we’ll be no more married than the priest,

and even he will be a fake.

1835

There’s nothing to worry about.

It’s a good deed; just play-acting.

ERIFILA

So you think love is mere theatre,

that the soul is laughing-stock?

Yesterday you pledged your soul to me.

FLORIANO

1840

My love, may God strike me down dead

if I’ve spoken an untrue word;

may my heart which is yours burst wide,

may all my hopes be turned to dust

and my peace be consumed by war.

1845

My day rises and sets with you,

and you can plunge me into darkness,

but I swear that I haven’t lied.

ERIFILA

Now I know that Fedra’s your wife.

Your protestations are fuelled by guilt

1850

and trip too lightly off the tongue.

There’s not a single word of truth

in anything you’ve said to me,

except today’s your wedding day.

What did I ever ask from you?

1855

We asked, we owe, each other nothing;

I gave you nothing and God knows

It’s nothing that I take away.

Yesterday we met, today we part;

There’s nothing more to be said for us.

1860

Was it you took me from my home?

Was it you brought me to this land?

What have you ever done for me?

What services or tokens of love

have you ever pressed upon me?

1865

And just what difference will it make

on earth, in heaven or in hell,

whether you marry her or me?

I’ve no reason to call you cruel;

you’ve simply flattered to deceive.

1870

I’ve no right to stop your marriage

for I’ve played my own part in this charade,

and I’ll atone in my own way.

So from now on, false Orlando

I wash my hands of you. For good.

FLORIANO

1875

Love’s not a stain to be washed away

nor a sin to be cleansed by water.

Heaven will bring you back to me,

for though our love’s barely days old

I’ve held you in my heart for years,

1880

through the shades and mysteries of the soul.

Philosophy tells us time and space

are folds on destiny’s dark robe.

We are the linchpin of time and space,

upon which countless angels dance.

1885

We are cast in the image of stars,

in the guiding stars of our love.

And in our two days of desire

we have known and loved each other

for a hundred – a thousand! – years.

ERIFILA

1890

Always the bloody philosopher!

I’d rather talk to the simplest fool

than listen to your false science,

to your bluster and your breeze.

FLORIANO

Then what words will you listen to?

1895

That my soul is frozen with fear,

that my heart is burning with fire,

that hell has opened at my feet

and that I balance on the edge.

Only say the word and I’ll fall

1900

or now that fortune’s freed your hands

hold out your arms, Erifila,

and your husband will live again.

ERIFILA

You do not realise how contempt

is born quickly from betrayal.

1905

I could not hold out my arms to you

were you drowning and crying to me.

FLORIANO

I know you well, Erifila.

I know your heart is full of love.

ERIFILA

Leave me alone!

FLORIANO

My love!

ERIFILA

Your love?

FLORIANO

1910

I love you.

ERIFILA

You’re marrying her.

FLORIANO

There’s a hollowness within me.

ERIFILA

I’m sure Fedra will fill it well.

FLORIANO

I want you.

ERIFILA

You’ve asked for Fedra.

FLORIANO

You’re crying; are your tears false too?

ERIFILA

1915

What tears? You’ve turned my eyes to stone.

FLORIANO

I’ll kill myself.

ERIFILA

I’ll get the sword.

FLORIANO

Do you mean it?

ERIFILA

Do you mean it?

FLORIANO

Just say the word, I’ll cut my throat.

ERIFILA

You’d be doing yourself a favour

1920

if you simply cut out your tongue.

You allow it to wag too much.

You’ve let it say yes to Fedra.

FLORIANO

You want me to cut out my tongue

to spite your face.

ERIFILA

Someone’s coming.

VALERIO

1925

(Voice off.)

Don’t worry, I can manage her.

I’ve got a couple of servants

waiting for me outside the gates.

FLORIANO

Of all people, Valerio!

He’s coming for you.

ERIFILA

I hope he is.

FLORIANO

1930

You won’t go.

ERIFILA

Just watch me and see.

Scene 5

Enter VALERIO.

VALERIO

I’ve come to take you home with me.

ERIFILA

Dear cousin, I rejoice to see you.

VALERIO

How goes it with you. Orlando?

FLORIANO

In God’s truth, things couldn’t be worse.

VALERIO

1935

I don’t think you’ve got room for complaint.

Did you hear I got the licence?

ERIFILA

And I give thanks to God for it.

FLORIANO

And God knows how happy that makes me.

VALERIO

She’ll want for nothing in my house.

FLORIANO

1940

Except her sanity.

VALERIO

I’ll cure her.

FLORIANO

And what will you expect from her?

VALERIO

It’s not right to abandon her here.

I’ve thought about nothing else since,

so much I’ve started to believe

1945

that she really is my cousin.

ERIFILA

When I leave this place, this madhouse,

I’ll shake the dust from off my feet.

I hear they’re having a wedding,

that there’ll be lots of fireworks

1950

for a marriage that’s made in hell,

a marriage of carnival fools.

Take me home, good Valerio.

VALERIO

You’ll see the wedding after all,

for Don Sancho’s invited me.

1955

Though who the bride and bridegroom are...

ERIFILA

Who cares! With you by my side,

kind Valerio, we’ll see them married,

and with you I feel my fury wane.

FLORIANO

(Aside to ERIFILA.)

Yours is the cold fury of the sane.

ERIFILA

1960

(Aside to FLORIANO.)

An eye for an eye, my true love.

FLORIANO

(Aside to ERIFILA.)

You go to a greater prison,

where your feelings are kept locked away.

If that’s what you want, so be it.

But the madhouse will still be here,

1965

and you can always come back home

or you can stay away for ever.

ERIFILA

Valerio, take me away.

VALERIO

I’ve a sedan chair at the gate.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

As soon as the gates slam behind her,

1970

She’ll be sorry.

(Aloud.)

So you’re going?

ERIFILA

Gladly.

FLORIANO

We’ll miss you.

VALERIO

Goodbye, my friend.

I must get her home while I can.

I’ll come back later.

ERIFILA

I shall not.

(Aside to FLORIANO.)

Goodbye for ever. You’re a fool.

1975

It’s your wife now I feel pity for.

FLORIANO

(Aside to ERIFILA.)

When an angel passes us by

it’s always a consolation

to have a bottle of wine to hand,

to keep the lonely cold at bay.

ERIFILA

1980

(Aside to FLORIANO.)

I’m sure you’ll soon drink Fedra dry.

FLORIANO

(Aside to ERIFILA.)

You’ll be the sorry one, my love.

ERIFILA

(Aside to FLORIANO.)

Well, you’ll be too drunk to notice.

FLORIANO

(Aside to ERIFILA.)

Off you go, like a frightened lamb

in the hands of the butcher’s boy.

VALERIO leads ERIFILA away.

Scene 6

FLORIANO

1985

All that fury, all that frenzy,

were simply the blustering of love.

Suspicion, jealousy and love

make for passionate bedfellows.

But I had to swallow love and pride

1990

because Valerio was there,

because I still owe him my life

and because my life depends on him.

I feel her absence already,

crawling like a presence on my flesh,

1995

but she’ll be back. I know she will.

Love cannot die so easily.

Meanwhile let’s sit back and wait

to see what this sham wedding brings.

Exit FLORIANO.

Scene 7

Enter PISANO, brandishing a whip. He cracks it around LAIDA, THOMAS, MARTIN, BELARDO (a madman who thinks he is Lope de Vega), MORDACHO and other inmates. Several of them sing in foreign languages. Bedlam.

PISANO

Not an offensive word or look

2000

from any of you, is that clear?

No touching yourselves or each other.

We’re here to make people happy,

make them go on their way with a smile,

digging deep into their pockets.

2005

Right, off you go. We need the money.

MARTIN

Alms, for pity’s sake, give us alms.

BELARDO

Charity for poor lunatics.

MORDACHO

Do, re, me, fa, so, la, te, do.

LAIDA

This madness is taking hold of me.

2010

I must remember not to forget

that I’m sane. I mustn’t forget

to remember. To remember...

MORDACHO

Man and woman are music; life,

the stars, the moon, the sun, the sky;

2015

the planets, the zodiac, all things

contain music within themselves.

Music is the beauty of things.

La musique avant toute chose.

Do, re, me, fa, so, la, te, do.

BELARDO

2020

Poetry if it is to be such,

and song is merely a lesser form,

must combine passion with instruction,

music with a sense of purpose,

pleasing the ear, speaking to the mind.

MARTIN

2025

Alms, for pity’s sake, give us alms.

BELARDO

Charity for poor lunatics.

LAIDA

Orlando’s eyes are deepest blue,

Like the deepest lake I ever saw.

I think I drowned in them once.

THOMAS

2030

Alms! Who’ll give alms to these poor souls?

PISANO

Look into your hearts and deeper

into your pockets, good townsfolk.

Scene 8

Enter a GENTLEMAN, in travelling clothes.

GENTLEMAN

Miserable wretches. Who are they?

PISANO

Loonies.

GENTLEMAN

So a... a... what is the noun

2035

for madmen?

PISANO

A chaos perhaps.

GENTLEMAN

Indeed, a chaos of madmen.

PISANO

From the city asylum, sir.

GENTLEMAN

The marvel of all Valencia

is its asylum, I’ve heard tell.

2040

Zaragoza’s, in comparison,

languishes in the dark ages.

One of the seven wonders, I’m told,

of human charity in this world.

The crowning glory of the city.

2045

It would be a pity to leave

without having visited it,

without seeing its poor inmates

in their own sauce, so to speak.

Are they always as quiet as this?

PISANO

2050

They’ve all been receiving treatment.

Some of therm were... well, quite violent.

GENTLEMAN

Were they indeed. And you cured them?

Who’s he?

PISANO

He was a musician, sir

who one day found he couldn’t write

2055

or sing anything but the scale.

GENTLEMAN

And him?

PISANO

We call him Belardo.

He says he’s a famous poet,

that in his lifetime he has lived

a hundred lives and has written

2060

well over two thousand plays,

novels, epics and pastorals,

that he sailed with the Armada

and looked upon Ireland’s green shore,

that he was exiled from the Court

2065

and visited by the Inquisition,

that in time he became a priest

and has fathered fifty children,

that he has known the madness of love.

GENTLEMAN

Those of us still in our right minds

2070

should give thanks to God for His mercy.

BELARDO

The madhouse, sir, is a godless place

and all the ills of this false world

are visited here. No one escapes.

GENTLEMAN

No one?

BELARDO

No one can cast stones,

2075

because there’s no one so intact

they don’t carry some act of madness,

some terrible insanity

in their memory or in their mind.

Who can say they know who they are?

GENTLEMAN

2080

This man is some kind of sorcerer.

PISANO

They say he was a great scholar,

both of the arts and of the stars.

MORDACHO

Do, re, me, fa, so, la, te, do.

Was that how the concerto goes?

2085

God help me, I can’t remember.

PISANO

I can see, sir, you’re fascinated.

GENTLEMAN

I would see more of this wondrous place.

PISANO

In that case, come this afternoon.

You’ll see something you’ll never forget.

2090

Two of them are getting married.

GENTLEMAN

Then I’ll come as your guest, my friend.

PISANO

My honour and privilege, sir.

GENTLEMAN

Take this as a sign of my thanks.

PISANO

May God repay your kindness, sir.

2095

Come to the asylum at five.

You won’t forget this day, I promise.

Right, you lot.

LAIDA

Orlando, I love you!

MORDACHO

I remember semi-quavers!

THOMAS

The wole wide world’s a madhouse.

MARTIN

2100

But it’s all quietly covered up.

BELARDO

Why should there be only nine muses

when there are nine thousand poets?

Why should there be only nine muses

when every madness has its own?

They shuffle off.

Scene 9

A yard inside the hospital. SANCHO and VERINO.

SANCHO

2105

The cure has been miraculous!

As soon as she heard they’d be married,

she ate, she drank, she spoke, she slept.

VERINO

There you are, all’s well that ends well.

She had her obsession fulfilled

2110

and back she came, like Lazarus.

You can’t give herbs to the lovesick.

Ovid knew that centuries ago.

So the only possible cure

was the remedy I prescribed.

2115

Give her a week; you won’t know her.

SANCHO

Can you do anything for Laida?

VERINO

One thing at a time, good Sancho.

Let’s not go rushing our fences.

It’s time I had a look at Fedra.

SANCHO

2120

I’ve sent for her to be brought down.

In fact, that’s her coming now.

Scene 10

Enter PISANO and FEDRA.

PISANO

Go in and stand quietly there

or else they’ll think you’ve changed your mind.

FEDRA

Orlando? Isn’t he coming?

2125

Orlando? Where is he?

SANCHO

Calm down.

He’ll be here in just a minute.

FEDRA

And we’ll get married when he comes?

SANCHO

Once the priest comes, as sure as day.

PISANO

I’ve invited a special guest.

2130

He’s made a handsome donation.

VERINO

Good, good, the more the merrier.

FEDRA

Let everyone share my joy today.

Exit PISANO.

SANCHO

Now Fedra, take this calmly please.

FEDRA

I can’t be sane without my madman.

SANCHO

2135

But you will be... after you’re married?

FEDRA

Yes, yes, a thousand times over.

This has been a squall at sea,

a sudden storm that began to rage

and no less quickly died away

2140

when my ship came in to harbour

with its rigging down and its sails torn.

VERINO

We’ll get the wind back in your sails.

Godspeed, Fedra, Godspeed!

FEDRA

Orlando!

Orlando! Why don’t you bring him now?

Scene 11

PISANO ushers in the GENTLEMAN.

GENTLEMAN

2145

With your permission, my good sirs,

I’ve come to witness this wedding feast.

SANCHO

Your company does us honour.

FEDRA

Will Your Honour keep us company?

SANCHO

Pisano, go and get the... hmm... guests,

2150

those of them that are... presentable.

What’s a wedding without its guests!

Exit PISANO.

FEDRA

Never was truer word spoken!

Send out four messengers at once

to all the corners of the realm

2155

and tell the people of this land

that Orlando is wed today,

and ley there be celebrations

from Gibraltar to the Pyrenees.

PISANO returns with some inmates, dragging benches.

PISANO

Some benches.

SANCHO

Please, sir, be seated.

GENTLEMAN

2160

Thank you.

FEDRA

Are you going to leave me standing?

VERINO

It’s time to bring the bridegroom down.

PISANO

I’ll go.

Exit PISANO.

FEDRA

I’m waiting... and my head hurts...

SANCHO

You give me your word you’ll stop this,

2165

you’ll control your reckless senses,

once and for all when you’re married?

FEDRA

Then I’ll be as sane as you are.

But I warn you: if this is a trick...

SANCHO

I would not try and trick my niece.

2170

You’d be mad even to think it.

VERINO

(Aside.)

Careful now. Remember, she is.

Raving mad.

FEDRA

Then where’s the best man?

VERINO

It can be one of the inmates.

GENTLEMAN

For such a wonderful wedding;

2175

I wouldn’t dream of such a thing.

Perhaps I...

VERINO

You are kindness itself.

GENTLEMAN

That’s it settled then; I’m best man.

FEDRA

To be best man you must be a knight.

GENTLEMAN

I am a prince of Old Castile.

VERINO

2180

(Aside to SANCHO.)

I thought I recognised the type.

Mark my words: there’s trouble brewing here.

Classic case: delusions of grandeur.

SANCHO

(Aside to VERINO.)

Let’s face one problem at a time.

FEDRA

Here he comes, here comes Orlando!

SANCHO

2185

At last! Let the wedding begin!

Scene 12

The inmates appear two by two: THOMAS, MARTIN, BELARDO, LAIDA, MORDACHO, followed by PISANO who is leading FLORIANO by the hand. FLORIANO is dressed as a bridegroom, tut in an exaggerated way.

SANCHO

I’d like Fedra next to the groom.

Laida, you can be bridesmaid.

LAIDA

If I were the last woman on earth,

I wouldn’t do bridesmaid for her.

VERINO

2190

Stay there!

LAIDA

Over my dead body!

SANCHO

All right, let someone else do it.

FEDRA

Such a sensitive little soul.

FLORIANO

Enough arguing for one day!

Have you no respect for your husband?

FEDRA

2195

Do I not have any rights here?

FLORIANO

You can’t have any rights. You’re mad.

Or had you forgotten?

FEDRA

Hardly.

FLORIANO

So not another word from you

until it’s time to say ‘I do’.

FEDRA

2200

Who do you think you’re talking to?

BELARDO

The soul ages with arguments.

FLORIANO

I’m talking to my future wife.

Or have you suddenly changed your mind?

SANCHO

That’s enough! A mild contretemps,

2205

a tiff between two starred lovers.

FLORIANO

It would be best to say nothing

for the truth here would cut like a knife.

FEDRA

There are things that I could say too!

SANCHO

All right! All right!

MORDACHO

We’re hanging about

2210

like spare parts. We look like half-wits.

THOMAS

I don’t think much of this wedding.

MARTIN

I feel a chapter coming on.

LAIDA

Fedra was always a lying bitch.

In her wedding dress she looks like a witch.

SANCHO

2215

Doctor, this is getting out of hand.

VERINO

Belardo, some entertainment.

Get them to dance.

BELARDO

Have I a choice,

but to organise this danse macabre?

The inmates dance a masque and then, with the exception of LAIDA, all of them leave.

Scene 13

Enter VALERIO and ERIFILA.

VALERIO

Why are you doing this to me?

ERIFILA

2220

It’s not you that I’m running from;

it’s my life I’m running towards.

SANCHO

What’s going on here?

VALERIO

This madwoman,

as soon as she set foot in my house,

howled as though the floor were molten

2225

picked up her skirts and came running here.

I followed her as best I could.

SANCHO

What’s this all about, Elvira?

Why treat this good man so cruelly?

He only wants the best for you.

ERIFILA

2230

His was a house full of sadness;

All my happiness, all my joy

Were here, in this place of madness.

I’d have died if I’d stayed away.

VALERIO

There’s neither rhyme nor reason to this.

ERIFILA

2235

Who’s lookin for rhyme or reason?

This is madness, this is passion.

This is beyond the peace of love

and there is no greater affliction

in this world than jealousy.

2240

Give up all hope for me,

for all I want is Orlando.

VALERIO

Orlando is out of his mind,

we all know that. Leave her to me.

Who knows what evil influence

2245

he has exercised on her poor brain.

FLORIANO

My friend, there’s no sense to what you say.

If she’s acting without reason,

as you claim, I cannot be blamed.

If she’s mad, then no one’s to blame.

ERIFILA

2250

Are you married?

FLORIANO

Yes, I’m married.

Can’t you see all the guests are here?

ERIFILA

You mean you actually did it?

You bastard! Treacherous bastard!

FLORIANO

I married her because you left,

2255

because you said you hated me,

because you loved Valerio,

or have you lost your memory

as well as your mind? You left me,

and in front of these witnesses

2260

I command you to go back home.

Blood flows much thicker than water;

Don’t disappoint your loving cousin.

ERIFILA

I didn’t believe you would do it.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

She really thiks I married her.

ERIFILA

2265

If you think I’ll lie down and die

or turn silently to the wall,

that I’ll let her take you away,

then you’d do well to think again.

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

God knows what she’s likely to say...

ERIFILA

2270

Because, Floriano, if you think

murder can hide behind madness...

FLORIANO

(Aside.)

God! She’s killed me by her own hand.

(Aloud.)

Ha! Ha! Ha!

ERIFILA

That you can hide here

after the greatest crime of all,

2275

the murder of Prince Reinero.

SANCHO

Reinero... Floriano... you!

FLORIANO

Ha! Her brains have finally addled.

(Aside.)

I’m dead.

SANCHO

Seize him.

FLORIANO

I’m mad, insane.

How could I have killed anyone?

PISANO

2280

You’re as sane as anyone here!

SANCHO

Seize him. There’ll be a rich reward.

Valerio, I blame you for this.

VALERIO

He was my friend, what was I to do?

GENTLEMAN

Have I got the right end of the stick?

2285

You say this man killed Reinero?

If that’s all he did, let him go.

VERINO

Ah, I knew it!

SANCHO

You must be mad!

Who do you think you are, butting...

GENTLEMAN

Tell them if I’m mad, Orlando.

FLORIANO

2290

You’re a ghost that’s sent to haunt me!

GENTLEMAN

Touch my hand.

FLORIANO

Your Highness, Prince Rei...

I don’t understand. I killed you.

VALERIO

You’re Reinero?

GENTLEMAN

At your service, sir.

VALERIO

This is some sort of mad charade,

2295

something dreamt up for carnival.

GENTLEMAN

I can assure you; I’m Reinero.

VERINO

Floriano didn’t kill you then.

GENTLEMAN

I see you are a logician, sir.

My death was engineered. A ruse.

FLORIANO

2300

A ruse! What sort of ruse was that?

GENTLEMAN

You and I loved the same woman:

Celia, the flower and the star

of the town of Zaragoza.

I was desperate to win her heart.

2305

I held fiestas outside her house,

tournaments with brave and noble knights,

colourful dances and music,

bullfights, parades and processions;

and I would send her emerald rings,

2310

bracelets of the finest amethyst,

all engraved with secret messages,

with codes and cyphers and symbols

that I hoped her heart would understand.

But nothing... no, worse than nothing.

2315

She seemed to hold me in disdain.

One dark night I went to her house,

pulled there like a moth to the light,

accompanied by three of my men.

One of them a page, dressed like me,

2320

looking like me in every way

was to wait outside in the street.

It was a simple and easy trick

to keep my name from prying eyes.

It was that page you wounded

2325

and who later died there, in the street.

I ordered my men to silence

and had my untimely death announced.

By noon the news spread far and wide;

the whole city was moved to tears,

2330

and I sent spies to Celia’s house

to report to me her reaction.

The page was buried that afternoon

with all the pomp due to a prince.

I rode south to Valencia,

2335

a city that I’ve always loved.

A messenger arrived today;

Celia’s beside herself with grief.

He lovely face is stained with tears

and she’s locked herself away.

2340

I leave Valencia tomorrow

and would be glad to take you with me.

We’d make good travelling companions,

You the madman and me the corpse.

FLORIANO

The sky has opened up for me!

VERINO

2345

Let me say I am delighted

to have my diagnosis confirmed.

I have always said: ‘Here’s a sane man.’

And by God, you’re as sane as I.

SANCHO

What happens now to Elvira?

VERINO

2350

A more tragic case altogether.

Her madness is beyond repair.

ERIFILA

My name is not Elvira.

VERINO

No?

(Aside to SANCHO.)

This is an attack coming on.

FLORIANO

Her real name is Erifila,

2355

she was robbed by her servant

and she’s as sane as you or I.

VERINO

You have no grounds for that statement.

Now my considered judgement,

based on my study of Galen...

SANCHO

2360

Erifila, you must forgive us.

VALERIO

(To FLORIANO.)

It’s you Erifila loves, my friend,

and there’s not a force on this earth

that should ever come between you.

Marry her, and with my blessing.

FLORIANO

2365

You’ve given me the gift of life

twice over, my friend Valerio.

Erifila?

ERIFILA

Floriano,

give my regards to your good wife.

FLORIANO

It was a piece of theatre, a sham.

2370

I told you that; for Fedra’s sake.

ERIFILA

You’ve sailed close to the wind, my love

But this time I shall forgive you

Just his once.

FEDRA

And what about me?

GENTLEMAN

Is there anyone who will take

2375

our jilted bride?

VALERIO

if she were sane...

I confess I find her pretty...

But not another madwoman.

I need love. I yearn for quiet,

not constant fits and bursts of fury.

FEDRA

2380

My madness was merely pretence,

a trick to win Orlando’s heart.

LAIDA

(Aside.)

Ah, into his heart... not his bed.

SANCHO

You’re not mad?

FEDRA

Not in the slightest,

dear uncle, dear doctor, dear friends.

2385

Valerio, I will be your wife.

VALERIO

And I’m the happiest of men.

LAIDA

You all think I’m mad too, don’t you?

SANCHO

Is there any reason to think not?

LAIDA

There’s every reason... lots of them.

VERINO

2390

I’ve diagnosed you already.

A classic case of melancholia.

LAIDA

Fedra simply imitated me.

I’d be happy now to be a maid,

to go back to what I was before.

2395

I’d be happy scrubbing and washing.

Please don’t lock me up again... please.

GENTLEMAN

Is there anyone in this madhouse

who is mad?

They look towards VERINO.

VERINO

Referring to LAIDA.)

Melancholia.

The surging of the black humours

2400

under the baleful sign of Saturn.

GENTLEMAN

So let the marriages take place

with the greatest celebration.

VALERIO

Though surely not in this bleak place.

GENTLEMAN

And then we ride for Zaragoza.

They all leave, except LAIDA, a lonely figure looking for lost pebbes. A heavy door slams shut behind the departing guests.

End of Act Three.

EPILOGUE

BELARDO

2405

This is not the way things should be,

loose ends and jagged shards of words.

Art is harmony as life is,

and Laida should not be left thus.

Was her wrong-doing any greater?

2410

Let us see things a different way:

When he flees from Erifila

Leonato meets the Gentleman

and enters upon his service.

A coincidence, but possible.

2415

The curious wedding’s announced

and Leonato attends it too.

More than that, he becomes best man

though we can imagine his fear

as Erifila re-appears

2420

like a ghost from his sordid past.

But then he hears Verino speak:

‘A more tragic case altogether.

Her madness is beyond repair’,

His former mistress has gone mad

2425

in the words of a learned doctor.

His jellied gust turn into valour:

So perhaps.

VERINO

A more tragic casi altogether.

Her madness is beyond repair.

LEONATO

I think I should say something here.

2430

I’m prepared to be her husband,

Although I was her servant once.

Madwomen cannot be choosers.

SANCHO

You know her. Then enlighten us.

LEONATO

I rescued her from cruel parents

2435

and led her to this paradise.

I looked after her day and night,

I respected her chaste honour.

ERIFILA

You chased my honour night in, night out;

then you stripped me and stole my jewels!

VERINO

2440

The obsessive melancholic.

The surging of the black humours

under the baleful sign of Saturn.

GENTLEMAN

You’d do well to tell the truth, boy.

LEONATO

I’ve still got them. She can have them back.

SANCHO

2445

In that case they can be married!

FLORIANO

Erifila, for that’s her real name,

has been promised to Valerio.

And I owe Valerio my life.

VALERIO

(To FLORIANO.)

It’s you Erifila loves, my friend,

2450

and there’s not a force on this earth

that should ever come between you.

Marry her, and with my blessing.

FLORIANO

You’ve given me the gift of life

twice over, my friend Valerio.

2455

Erifila?

ERIFILA

Floriano,

Give my regards to your good wife.

FLORIANO

It was a piece of theatre, a sham.

I told you that; for Fedra’s sake.

ERIFILA

Then, my love, I shall forgive you.

2460

Just this once.

FEDRA

And what about me?

GENTLEMAN

Is there anyone who will take

our jilted bride?

VALERIO

If she were sane...

I confess I find her pretty...

But not another madwoman.

2465

I need love. I yearn for quiet,

not constant fits and bursts of fury.

FEDRA

My madness was merely pretence,

a trick to win Orlando’s heart.

LAIDA

(Aside.)

Ah, into his heart... not his bed.

SANCHO

2470

You’re not mad?

FEDRA

Not in the slightest,

dear uncle, dear doctor, dear friends.

Valerio, I will be your wife.

VALERIO

And I’m the happiest of men.

LAIDA

You all think I’m mad too, don’t you?

SANCHO

2475

Is there any reason to think not?

LAIDA

There’s every reason... lots of them.

VERINO

I’ve diagnosed you already.

A classic case of melancholia.

LAIDA

Fedra simply imitated me.

2480

I’d be happy now to be a maid,

to go back to what I was before.

I’d be happy scrubbing and washing.

Please don’t lock me up again... please.

GENTLEMAN

Is there anyone in this madhouse

2485

Who is really mad? Listen, boy,

here’s your chance to make restitution.

LEONATO

Sir, I need no second bidding,

for this maid to be mine. Sweet Laida,

you and I are kindred spirits,

2490

and I see in your soul a beauty

matched only by your lovely face.

Do you think you could care for me?

LAIDA

Sir, you give me life and freedom,

and I shall worship your every step.

GENTLEMAN

2495

So let the marriages take place

with the greatest celebration.

Then we ride for Zaragoza.

FLORIANO

The man who murdered you breathes again

and thanks you for his life renewed.

The End.

Félix Lope de Vega y Carpio, Los locos de Valencia

Madness in Valencia

Act I

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Scene 6

Scene 7

Scene 8

Scene 9

Scene 10

Scene 11

Scene 12

Scene 13

Scene 14

Act II

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Scene 6

Scene 7

Scene 8

Scene 9

Scene 10

Scene 11

Scene 12

Scene 13

Scene 14

Scene 15

Scene 16

Scene 17

Scene 18

Scene 19

Scene 20

Scene 21

Act III

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

Scene 5

Scene 6

Scene 7

Scene 8

Scene 9

Scene 10

Scene 11

Scene 12

Scene 13

EPILOGUE